I am in love.
Not with the guy next door
Or the charming ****
Or even the bad boy

No, I am in love with the people on the streets.

I am in love with their smiles.
I am in love with their surprise when their casual How are you? doesn’t turn out to be rhetorical.
I am in love with their intense honesty when I ask them the same question in return.
I am in love with their hope when I meet their gaze, and they realize they might not be invisible after all.
I am in love with their inner artist and musician and scholar.
I am in love with their humanity

And nothing breaks my heart more than seeing their downcast gazes fixed on the hard, unfeeling ground
As if they don’t believe themselves worthy to be seen

I wish I could place them in front of a mirror
So they can understand just how beautiful they are
When someone else reassures them that they do exist.

I am in love. But I don’t know how to tell them yet.

but I did.
And now there's nothing I can do.
Every day for the rest of my life,
I'll have to deal with this.
Every day I have to wake up, look at myself in the mirror,
and pretend I'm not disgusted... with myself.
I'll forever have to live with ruining something so precious.
Something(one) so fragile.
Something(one) who couldn't even fight back.
Forever I will be haunted with what could have been.

i
should have walked away then,
i woke up
crying
scared
i'm
only sixteen
my
parents will **** me
everyone
will be so disappointed
i
didn't think anything of it
i
guess you didn't either
we
were in the midst of the moment of the sweetest of love
i
wasn't ready for this
you
weren't either
i spent the night with my friend
and
you
were mad at me that morning

you were wishing
that i had never
walked into that room after school for tutoring
you were wishing
that you had never gotten to know my name
you were wishing
that you had never kissed me
you were wishing
that you had never pushed me into this
you were wishing
you could take back my innocence

we
didn't get any sleep
you
stayed up late that night before
thinking
hoping
maybe
i decided
i didn't love
you
so much
one night
so maybe this baby
wouldn't be
yours
if this baby
was to even exist
you
told all
your
friends
about how
you
****** up
and for some reason
they respected
you
for hurting me
for leaving me
we're
both so young
we
both made this mistake
i
had no money
my
friend paid for
my
mistake
it came in a box
the plus sign didn't even appear
but you
warned me in advance
you
said
you were gonna leave
and you
did
but i
held on
because neither of
us
were even sure
and you
said
you
would **** yourself
before you
had to drop everything
going for
you
to pay for the support
of this child's life
your child
it would have been
yours

I would love to say I am one of those people who just doesn't give a ****!
I would love to say that it doesn't hurt or bother me..
when people say "people like you"
are what's wrong with America...
I would be lying...
I don't know why-
Why I care what they think
or that they hate us!
Or, think we are disgusting...
Or, that we are so different from them.
I shouldn't care!
But, I do....
Just the same
I should not feel inadequate
or sad because I cannot give you a baby...
But I am...and I do...
Part of me feels that moving somewhere
that we could get married would change things...
That somehow the whole population
wouldn't be like that.
I know that I am just kidding myself-
I know that people will have their views no matter where we go.
But, it doesn't stop me from wishing-
That we were not considered so different...
Because we love someone of the same gender...
And for those that think this is what we have chosen.
HATE, RIDICULE, HARDSHIP, SEPERATION
WHO WOULD CHOOSE THAT?
I wouldn't, I didn't!
It chose me, God chose me!
To even begin to try to think I could fit in
to your lines defining "normal" is ridiculous.
It would be impossible....
Besides that fact that I would never be albe
to lay with a man-
I have already found love.
Yes, LOVE! with a woman..
And no, neither of us are perfect...
But, together....we make a perfect couple.
Like two weights on a scale we balance...
AND I LOVE HER!!
AMERICA CAN GET OVER IT!!!

Can I tell you a secret?
Can I whisper it in your ear?
I promise, my darling,
this is something you'll want to hear:

I dream about you
during the day and late at night.
I dream about you
but you're no where in sight.

Can I tell you a secret?
Can I whisper it in your ear?
Listen, darling,
won't you pass me a beer?

My body's growing hot,
and yours is ice cold.
Let us just lay together,
until the day is old.

Can I tell you a secret?
Can I whisper it in your ear?
Trust me, my sweet,
I will you love you, my dear.

My arms around your neck,
and your hands wrapped in my hair.
The way your tongue moves
just really isn't fair.

Can I tell you a secret?
Can I breath across your neck
the words of the things I dream about
when you're removing my dress?