I'M TRYING TO BE ART
BUT MY CANVAS IS WHITE
AND THIS PAINT IS WHITE
AND I KEEP PAINTING
BUT EACH STROKE
LEAVES ME FEELING
MORE B L A N K.

(NJ2014) (All Rights Reserved)

Maybe I’ve lost my voice because I’ve been screaming for help for years.
Now its the big day and I can barely spill a word
-foolish child, cant you be independent?
well heres what you deserve.

I'm standing in front of a crowd of people
I've tried endlessly to rely on,
and now I'm going to show them how I've failed.

You made me feel like I was just another girl,
I know you have notebooks full of rows and the details,
but I was hoping I would be the last of them
turns out I just ended the page and you flipped it to start again.

I never thought we would ever say goodbye,
I guess I was right because it ended with goodnight.

I never saw your eyes again
or held the hands you scarred me with
or wrapped myself in your arms,
or kissed the lips you'd breathe me in with,
you always teased me with it.

You smoked me out,
remains of an ashtray now.

(NJ2014) All Rights Reserved.

You're a locked door with the sign 'do not enter,'
but there are duplicates of the key you lent out once.
The sky becomes a blanket, and the sun is no longer out;
and strangers come through the door -gone by morning.

There's only so much company that can be found in an empty bottle,
so you make it two empty bottles, and grab an empty hand
and dance under the flawed moon,
and like an hourglass fall slowly into familiarity
-by morning you're left with the same empty feeling
(and a terrible headache.)

They come waltzing in uninvited,
friends of the unconscious mind,
and enemies to the sober.

You're a locked door with the sign 'do not enter,'
if I was offered the key I would not take it.
I patiently knock.

(NJ2014) (All Rights Reserved)

I'm trying real hard to keep this together but it's falling apart,
can't keep it from being severed,
but I'm hoping to keep you by my side at least just for the night
I'm trying to make you realize that I don't want this to be goodbye.

But I can't keep screaming at the moon
while she's screaming in your room,
while my bones are shaking cold,
she's found home within your arms.

So, I'm saying goodbye,
but I'm hoping you'll tell me please don't go.

I don't know why I keep trying to be right for you.
'cause we're from places worlds apart,
and we'll never see it through,
when I see you,

I'm hoping to keep you by my side.
I don't want to leave.
but you never told me,
don't go.

(NJ2014) (All Rights Reserved)

Each time I see you,
you're a new you.

Unfortunately,
that is true.

Never will you meet someone like me,
I'm many people distinctively.
I change my mind all the time,
one night I'll be fine,
in the morning I'll be a crime scene.

My preferences changes endlessly,
one day I want something,
the next it wont mean a thing to me.

Does that scare you?
Well, don't let it.

'Cause through all my changes,
you're the one thing that remains the same;
I'll always prefer you.

(NJ2015) (All Rights Reserved)

Spinning around his room,
walk to the mirror,
put on some red lipstick,
I feel great.

What's wrong with you?

What do you mean? I feel great!
Spinning around his room
without a care in the world.

Are you on drugs?

No silly, I just feel great!
Spinning around his room,
stumbling off balance.

What is wrong with you!?

I feel grea-
hands grab my wrist,
pull me from my spin,
light eyes turn dark
his stare in my eyes

What is wrong.

Next thing, I'm crying into my palms

it'll be alright,
and he holds me tight.

Hug me forever, don't let go.

I wont.

Hug me forever,
cause once you stop
I have to go.

And he lets go,
what does that mean?

I have to go,
I don't want to hurt to be happy,
I can't dance anymore,
this was our finale,
and this is the end of the show.

(NJ2015) (All Rights Reserved)