"If someone you love hurts you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it."

but what if  i can’t build a bridge

for I’m crying but there are no tears

for this is a new type of sadness

trust me I want to cry actual tears

and I try and try for I wanna get over you

but the memories of us have created drought in my body

and there are no more tears for me to cry

"do not try to be pretty you were meant to burn down the earth and graffiti the sky do not let anyone ever simplify you to pretty"
a friend told me this when I was in a place that I do not want to return
for I didn't know who I was and all I did was strive to be pretty
she made me realize that I did not need to be pretty
for I am anything I want to be
I am the dirt and soil of the world
I create life
I am a greasy big old Bigmac
I may be unhealthy kind of gross looking
but who cares
I was not made to look pretty
I was made to make you happy and that's what I strive to do
to make you and everyone else happy including me

i am a damsel in distress
not the fairy tale kind of an unknown princess trapped in a tall tower hidden from the world by their evil stepmom, waiting for their one true love to save them, but the modern kind
just like the princess i need saving from an evil stepmom but this modern day evil is in a different form.
this modern day evil stepmom is not a person but people and their mindset/views on women
i need saving from the stereotypes people have created about women
how we are weak, “moody”, and just an object with a pretty face
i need saving from the fact that i don’t have the right to my own body for what i should like is determined by balding, middle aged white males who photoshop every picture ill ever see of a woman
i need saving from the fact that women have their own catagorey when it comes to jobs.
if we were in an office job setting stereotypically the male would be the boss/CEO and the women would be his assistant/secretary, but in reality the roles could be reversed for womnen can do exactly what men can do
i need saving from the fact that women get paid less than men, and yea its a $0.22 difference but thats not what i need saving from i need saving from the fact that women arent viwed as equals to men
i need saving from the fact that women cant wear what they want for they will be cat called by men who have no personalities
i need saving from the fact that it is my fault for being sexually harassed because my skirt was too short or because you could see my bra strap, like really?! COME ON! all women wear bras its nothing special!
now i bet youre all wondering the really inportant question…
who will be the one true love to save me and all women?
trick question!
its yourselves we are the one who must save ourselves by changing our viewpoints and spreading the word on why others should change them too
so then eventually there will be no such thing as a modern day damsel in distress
but for now there is

I wish I knew how to accept love
why won’t I allow my self to accept that maybe someone likes me let alone loves me.
am I scared that I’ll end up alone and depressed.
it is it because I’m scared that they’ll stop loving me.
that that they’ll wake up one day and decided that they’ve moved on.
that they don’t love me anymore.
maybe it’s that someone could say they loved me when in reality they never did
and it was all a game.