Attempt to be in control
                                             Create a script
                    Pull strings attached to hearts.
Do you do it?

                               I’ve been your puppet.
                            But this is not about me.

This is about the things beyond control.
You cannot account for free will.
Don’t create a plan,
                                     Or script,
                                                  No expectations.

Nothing to be tarnished.
No standards to be met.
                                Everything a blissful surprise.

Is it possible for a heart to drop twice?
Does it fall deeper?
Or does it hit the ground harder?

I don’t know how this happens,
And I don’t know why you insist on torturing me.

Yes, there is jealousy,
Yes, there is anger.
Mostly, there is pain.

                                                      Obvious?

Sick of being the ‘wrong’ girl?
No attempt at being right.
What is halting?
Why does this seem different?
In those moments,
                                     I have never felt more perfectly content.
For not wanting to give that up,
                                                          To move on,
                                                                                    Or forget.
I will not apologize.

Time is time,
I have never really cared for it.
Patience my refined skill nearing perfection.
        Ability to act fine a skill I never intentionally practiced.
My greatest skill.

Time is waiting.
So I practice patience,
If you’re ready to be right…

Prying into the heart of the unknown when you realize
Oportunities are endless if you create them.
Tedious work that results in glowing pride,
Endless discoveries if only interests would show.
Nothing seems to matter, nothing worth my
Time. Yet all this passion has to go some where, those words cannot be an
Illusion. There must be a purpose. I feel it
All around, this pull that I can 'do', like there is something more for me.
L**ingering desire to explain.

I'm not tired,
But bed would be so easy.
Pass time,
                 Past time.
That moment...
                        Lost in time.
Take it back.
This pen declares Truth.
       Not action.
What produces action?
Motive,
             Goal,
                    ...Desire.
Nothing shall Be until I take back.
Waiting,
              Counting,
                          ­     Shaking,
                                              Distractin­g.
                        Fight for control.
Step up to the ledge,
Enough cautiously testing the water,
Leap in
              Head first.
As tension builds lose yourself in the moment.
                     Patient Potential.

Anxious, Excited, Nervous, Scared.
                       NERVOUS.

                                               WHY?

Like the way you make me feel?

About to jump into bottomless pit.
     Anxious, Excited, Nervous, Scared.
Don't want to jump.
                                   Carefully step off the ledge.

Even when you're silent I can still hear your rings.
You think you can hide in the corner of a room,
But light shines from you.
                                            You are endless inspiration.
But my mind goes blank,
                                          I can't control it.
But my nerves soar,
                                          I can't control it.
I have trouble swallowing,
                                          I can't control it.
Focus on breathing,
                                          I can't control it.

My head says give up, but my heart just keeps fighting.
                                        Fighting for control.
As much as I desire,
                                maybe a step back is required.
     But my feelings for you?
I'm sorry,
                                         I can't control it.

I wish I may, I wish I might,
On this star I see tonight,
Take these words as they are
Know that I am not far.

There are certain things that I will not forget,
That night in the hall, missed moment I do regret.

"Could've kissed her" they said,
And even though it's all you were thinking,
All you wanted inside that single moment.
You did not do it,
No explanation why.

Disturbed you can't remember
                Just a few fleeting seconds
                          Half recalled memories.
Smile to myself when I think it happened,
Kick myself for no existential proof.

Is there a connection?
Was it instant?
Does it matter?
Do you feel it?

I wish I may, I wish I might,
On this star I see tonight.
Take these words as they are,
Know that I am not far.

Each time my heart races, and keeping still only a faint idea
Restless body,
Restless mind,
Restless soul.

Put pen to paper and things become real,
But these words of mind you do steal.

Explaining how I feel for you would be no simpler a task
Then describing the taste of water.
                                                   Maybe I like it that way
Something I cannot describe,
Something I cannot put into words.

I accept a humble defeat into your hopefully open arms,
Adding more confusion to the exciting mess I already have trouble making sense of.

Even after the first few times we met,
I saw each new day with a brand new conviction for the beauty they bring.

You've already changed so much, by doing so little.
All I ask is a little time to discover each other.
So;

I wish I may, I wish I might
On this star I see tonight
...Kiss Me.