The crushing weight on my shoulders
In my ridiculous brain
Slowly destroying me,
From the inside out.

I am a liar
No!
A pretender.
I don't intend to hurt anyone,
But me.

My body
My mind
And my soul
All feel the weight of protending.
It doesn't matter if I die from this weight,
Or if I just live with it,constantly.

The weight of pretending
Is heavier than anything
In the world
Because it explodes,crushes and destroys
All at once.

My anxiety's in over drive,
Stressed out to the max.
Time is shortening,
Work is lengthening
And it's hard to breathe.
Totally loosing my mind,
I want to lock my door
And shut the curtains.
Freaking out in a corner
On my own.

Tears are filling up my eyes and
Splashing down to hit my pillow.
Wet patches of where they fall are left behind.
I'm completely destroyed.
Cut into pieces by my own making,
Causing problems I can never fix.
Pushing people away,
So I don't get hurt
But I AM hurt.
Beyond repair.
Like the unfixable child's toy,
That gets thrown away.
"You can't help someone
That doesn't want to help themselves".
It's never been so true.

Your such a fool,
Let her walk right out the door,
Should have chased after her
And begged for her to stay.

I remember when you said
"She is the best thing to happen to me"
What happened to that love?

You worshipped the ground she walked on
I'd never seen you so happy,
But yet you throw it away.

What happened to you?
There's no way
You will find a girl like that
Again.

Intense blue eyes watch the outside world
Through a narrow wooden window
At the top of the stairs.

Raindrops sliding down the window,
Racing each other to the bottom
And colliding against the wood.

Sitting and watching the wind,
That looks like an invisible hand pushing the trees,
Which bend and sway back and forward.

The soothing sound of raindrops,
On the roof while she's safe inside.
In the warmth, with a blanket
Wrapped around her slender shoulders.

There's not a lot to do during a rainy day
Stuck inside watching and listening,
But so completely captivating
That she can't move.

All I saw was pure hope,
I know you haven't seen it yet,
But you just wait and see.
I can not explain it to you,
No words can even scratch the surface,
You must see it for yourself.

Pure hope.
Two simple words,
They can mean anything
And everything.

The purity and youthfulness
Alongside of the happiest word
In existence,
The one that leads you through the dark,
To the light on the other side.

Pure hope is what I see.

Take the opportunity,
To give it a go.
Were not talking stupid things
But how wrong is fun.
A night out is what we need,
Time to break free of routine.
Drinking games and being crazy,
Seems so unnatural.
Maturity can only last so long,
With good friends all around.