The weather changes
More than a woman changes
Her beautiful mind.

It’s not always peaches and flowers
Its not always sunshine and singing
It can be the shadows behind
The faces unseen
The nightmares creeping
The minds darkness
Consuming the self
It can be these things, it can be
It can be a choice, you choose, you choose.

It can be an empty stomach
It can be a growling nightmare
It can seek the dark
It can loathe the waiting
It can be fear the testing
It can be the madness
Seeping through the cracks
Dripping through the walls
It can be
It can be
Can it?

There is something inexplicable delicious
about having your cigarette lit by a man
Crushed in the doorway
next to the Chinese restaurant
getting out of the wind
your hands around his hands
protecting the flare of a match
in a way you've been doing this all night
across a table
over stir-fried udon and saki
and British accents (yours real, his not)
something about the moment your face flicks back
as the smoke seeps into your mouth
and your eyes meet his eyes
and it's not until later
just after your lips are on his lips
and the world stops moving outside
that you realise you knew it would be like this
from the moment that flame burst open
behind two sets of hands.

You’re dreaming again, and it’s love at first sight. You’re walking home and it’s love at first sight and if you could only taste him your heart would explode. You’d burn from the inside out. Every nerve writhing in explicit ecstasy, a thousand tiny deaths over and over, and as your feel your lungs expand you are attuned to this earth, you feel every atom brush against your throat. He’s like a poison, he’s like pinot noir, he’s like orange crush and it burns when he takes hold of you. You’re walking home and it’s snowing but your eyelashes are blocking it out so all you see is him. You’re walking home and it’s cold but you’re burning from the inside out. You’re walking home and your legs can’t hold you anymore. You’re walking home and you start to fall, but not in love, and no one's there to catch you, no one even sees you stumble over your own words and fall without moving your feet or walk without hitting the ground. Just shadows in the snow banks, witnesses to your frailty.
· me,

Where were you when it all faded
when my life broken and dilapidated
crumbled under the fire of a setting sun
we placed the stars in jars to light the path we chose to run
begging for the moon to paint the path with it's pending illumination
I set my eyes to the sky for the calming meditation
bow my head to Polaris for remaining still and patient
then blow kisses to the constellations

Yet where were you when it all faded?
When the heavens rained down onto my skin stripped naked
cast into the sea, I am the leviathan awaiting my chance to consume the world
trapped in the bottom of the ocean along with the oysters and pearls
that will one day line the wrists of rich girls
milk white with thick swirls
I'm alone in the ocean, buried 3 leagues
under this sea
bare of all the former traces of me

Where were you when it all faded?
absent from the life you vacated
I place these stars in jars and run through the scattered trees
in search of the path that brings you back to me...