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Nick Burns Dec 2019
My greatest wish
is my greatest fear.
Not a wish for value,
but a wish for fear.

My greatest fear
is my greatest wish.
Not a fear of value,
But a fearful wish.

Raise the blinders.
Plug your ears.
Pray our words
may disappear.

Plug your ears.
Raise the blinders.
Sweet solitude
welcomes reminders.
Oct 2019 · 60
muscle from bone
Nick Burns Oct 2019
does not ****
the soul
the soul
cannot die

muscle from bone
our spirits stretched
beyond the unknown

you carry me
i carry you
however far
however far
we’re strung

muscle from bone
our spirits stretched
until we’re both home
transatlantic flight down half-crew split
Sep 2019 · 38
Nick Burns Sep 2019
I’m crashing
I love you
beat the brakes
right off me

you’re rushing
I love you
push the sun
to the sea
Sep 2019 · 58
forget this
Nick Burns Sep 2019
wanted to
to **** you

i love you
just improve

wanted to
to **** me

we’re helpless
forget this
Dec 2018 · 238
Frames of Snow
Nick Burns Dec 2018
I catch myself
feigning sadness;
‘’Tis the season,’
my voice might creak.

There is a dread I keep,
from year to year,
from month to month,
just for this week.

Forgetting why
should make me smile.
Yet, I don’t feel replete.

This season shines,
faux philistine;
Yet, still, you’re incomplete.
Nov 2018 · 93
Still still
Nick Burns Nov 2018
Getting better
is so alien to me,
to be the three
that we
set out to be.
I pictured ruin
or a split,
but not writ,
though we
resolve to breathe!
Still, I’m the type
to measure in nights
not days!
Who stays?
Who goes?
Is it the same?
Still, you’re the type
to always be right
not wrong!
Won’t you stay?
No, don’t go.
I want to play.
So, please say-
Please say
you will stay.
I know you
will always stay,
my little rose.
My little fae.
Aug 2018 · 122
Nick Burns Aug 2018
they who filed the bars and sent the world to the stars
in a slow, but heavy descent, god only knows what they meant
with an enveloping down and a comforting cry
is a rating for us to decide or just to imbibe
well, step aside, because i...
i can definitely imbibe
Aug 2018 · 775
Going, going, gone.
Nick Burns Aug 2018
My alarm clock screams.
Been awake for three hours;
so ahead of the game,
unaware of my powerless range.

I’ve been tossing, turning, creaking,
coming up with new names;
another attempt to link together
all of my fireless plains.

Hey, I’m running on fumes.
Hey, I’m Eugene Tooms;
stretching, twisting, warping,
got you reaching for clues.

It’ll all come together,
posted up in a small room;
just typing up a dichotomy
of life as a lifeless plume.
Aug 2018 · 103
miss her misters
Nick Burns Aug 2018
relation devolved:
a walk to a crawl?
relation evolved:
adapted free-fall
to death
or to life,
in the wake
is a funnel
in disrepair:
a lost time
after ma’am’s,
after misters;
no need
for callous,
just blisters.
raw puppy eyes
in the sky
as our lids
slowly close
over waste.
Nick Burns Aug 2018
We’re both homesick;
I need you and
she needs peace.
Aug 2018 · 326
Nick Burns Aug 2018
To everyone, I’m a vampire.
Not to them, but to me.
Know what I mean?
Sustenance is consequence
and I’m convinced
You were convinced
And ever since
The sky repents.
It screams for me!
For forgiveness.
For love and hate
And all between.
You’re a vampire to me
But not to you, I mean.
Do you see?
I’m sure you see.
Aug 2018 · 88
translucent shells
Nick Burns Aug 2018
i’m at a service
for someone i didn’t know
but wish i had, i suppose
you never said much
but now it means more
yet i’m still an outsider
without feelings about her
as your insides knot up
and your son can’t understand
i’m a phantom at best
with an invisible hand
Jul 2018 · 76
twice down on
Nick Burns Jul 2018
I wrote in circles like a vinyl ******, but still running, and bounded over what could have made the story wholly forgiving.

I am the only one
to ever hear
exactly what I said:

I cannot begin
to tell you how
this might end.
Jun 2018 · 98
a stuttering dream
Nick Burns Jun 2018
you’ll probably be
more sorry when
you’re dying
stopping wrongs
from writing
please stop trying
stop chasing dawn
about waking up
on lawns

you’ll probably be
more sorry when
the light goes
out tonight those
aren’t windows
time heals
but when though
we’ve been closed
an illuminated end grows
May 2018 · 220
Drop them dead.
Nick Burns May 2018
The market was empty,
if not for my voice,
as I crooned my sermon
as an effortless remedy.

Echoes are still validation.
The crowd had no choice,
but to take in a message
of my self-flagellation.

The instrument cracked
as my voice became hoarse;
each syllable sprang
with the skin off my back.

Per chance did you hear
that my music doth ****?
If you survived its sound,
it must not have been near.
Apr 2018 · 236
Tomorrow Morningstar
Nick Burns Apr 2018
When I’m the
last of the fallen,
the absolute last
that Death ignores,
you’ll find me
crawling toward
the bright and sunny,
the endless calm,
the milk and honey.
Apr 2018 · 120
the buckling weak
Nick Burns Apr 2018
we’re but a reservoir
against a faulty dam
a rain away
from a flooded plain.

what fruitless
lies just beneath
a surface we can’t keep.
Mar 2018 · 120
Nick Burns Mar 2018
It was just one of those nights
One of those nights where you get to bed at a decent hour
And you’re just laying in bed closing your eyes to sleep
And you think of something small
Just something like a song you heard
Or maybe a band
And you wonder if someone you know might like it
You wonder if your brother might like it
So you think about it and realize you don’t even know
You don’t know what they listen to anymore or if it has changed
You really haven’t spent much time with them recently
You really haven’t spent much time with them in the last ten years
You start to wonder why
It feels trivial but you keep asking
Where did the relationship go
Where did it go wrong
How much was ever really there
You remember the last time you were together you had a bad moment
It wasn’t really the last time you were together
The last time was good
But the incident feels like the last time
It feels like maybe that’s where things changed
Even though it probably isn’t
Even though it was probably always the same
Or it has been for some time
You remember some of the things you said
Some things that were out of line
You’d done that with your other brother too but he usually got the better end of it
Still you were both drunk
Sometimes the truth comes out like that
Sometimes you’re just stretching
Sometimes you’ll never know
You remember you owe him money
He seems to have forgotten but that doesn’t make you feel better
Does he care about that
Could that be the hang up here
You remember other people you owe money to
Your grandma leant you some once and you only paid back a bit
You know she doesn’t hold it against you
But you know she has only forgotten if she wanted to
That doesn’t feel good either way
You remember the time your dad had to bail you out of jail
It was a mistake and just a misunderstanding
You didn’t know you had the warrant
You thought your fine was paid
The charge had been from years earlier
That didn’t take away the disappointment from his face
That didn’t take away the lecture you got on the way home
Who knows how much he paid for bail
He paid the balance of the fine as well
He was too upset to thank for it
I guess you never got around to it
Another time you were in a pinch and had to ask your mom for money
Your power had been shut off
You were unemployed with no prospects for a job
She flatly said no at first
Then not without a solid plan
But you didn’t have a plan
You didn’t have any plans and that’s why you called
You ended up heating up canned food with candles for a couple days
You fed your dog at least half of whatever you had
None of it felt good but you couldn’t blame your mom
Was she right to say no
Was she wrong not to help
All you know is you never asked again
You trust she had her reasons one way or another
There’s nothing much to say about it now anyway
Or at least you wouldn’t if there was
You know your parents love you the ways they know how to
You know your brothers do too
It’s 2 AM now and you have thought of everything
It’s 2 AM now and nothing is meaningless
Oct 2017 · 163
Intrinsically Cyclical
Nick Burns Oct 2017
Nature in passing;
Autumnal awakening.
All must die to live.
Oct 2017 · 163
Nick Burns Oct 2017
I can't speak.
I can't hear.
I can't see.
My mouth.
And ears.
And eyes.
And I-

And I forgot about you;
About who you are to me.
About how you help me love.
About who we can even be!

And I, my eye, my eyes!
I'm here, I hear, I'm here.
I speak, I sing, I speak!
Who can we both be?
Who are we complete?!
Tell me who we both can be,
if we can be quite anything!

And I!
My eye!
My eyes!
My eyes!!!
My ears!
My mouth!
My eyes!
And I-

And I can't speak of this!
Won't hear of it.
Won't ever see it through.
Can't speak!
Can't hear!
Can't see through you!

And I am I!
Said I am I!
Said I am I!
Are you?!
Oct 2017 · 381
Shadow Pattern Beat
Nick Burns Oct 2017
I am not alone,
though, seldom do I speak.
All implicit ties
must be auctioned off in sleep.
I could never follow, baby;
I could never lead.
If that's good enough for you,
well, that's good enough for me.
I could never stay or, maybe,
I could never leave.
Be that as it may,
I just want to be.
I just want to be.
I just want to be.
This is for my friend, Jack.

This wouldn’t exist without him or his recommendation of Manyfingers.

Edited on 3-5-18.

Original below:

I am not alone,
though, seldom do I speak.
All realistic ties
must be severed in our sleep.
I could never follow, baby;
I could never lead.
If that's good enough for you,
well, that's good enough for me.
Be that as it may,
I just want to be.
I just want to be.
I just want to be.
Oct 2017 · 136
Wolves in the Throne Room
Nick Burns Oct 2017
Walk softly thine lamb.
Take care stepping; for there are
wolves in the throne room.
Jul 2017 · 206
Maritime to Die
Nick Burns Jul 2017
Rope on a barrel.
A phone call in peril.
Oh, powered harpoon,
we'll be together soon!
The sinners are desperate.
We can't leave it to a vote.
We have to be against it.
Gonna need a bigger boat.
Jul 2017 · 154
Nick Burns Jul 2017
I had a Light.
My last light
was last time
we had a light;
our last light,
our last time.
Jun 2017 · 146
Fixed Odds
Nick Burns Jun 2017
We are
the unbeatable,
most believable
horse in the race.

I am
the beatable,
the achievable,
the least believable
horse in the race.
Jun 2017 · 172
Nick Burns Jun 2017
If I'm dying, I'll die slow.
Let the credits, let them roll.
If I'm dying, it won't show.

We could last an eternity.
Just for one god ****** time,
destroy uncertainty.

If we're dying, we'll die slow.
Let the credits, let them roll.
If we're dying, you won't know.

Let ‘em roll.
Let ‘em go.
Mar 2017 · 320
An Ugly Flock
Nick Burns Mar 2017
Herd mentality is spreading,
it is the new plague.
Madness is surging
at the end of all days.
The hive mind is swarming
and set to engage.

We could have done more;
we should have known better.
We're one and the same;
we'll all rot together.
We're one and the same;
but birds of a feather.
Nick Burns Sep 2016
Imagine what was a wall,
covered in twisted metal
and oil and filth and dust;
the tracks still in tact,
for they must be.
They must.

Play it backwards,
you will see,
the potential lives
I used to seize.

Play it forward,
close your eyes;
here comes the wreck,
here come the cries.

And *******!
It can't get worse.

I said, ‘*******!
Rewind this curse.’
*******!  *******!
We’d best reverse.

And *******!
We've all seen worse.
I swear, *******!
Just stop the hearst.

*******!  *******...
This can’t get worse.
*******.. *******..
this is no first.
Sep 2016 · 392
Analog Kisses
Nick Burns Sep 2016
Analog kisses.
You'll soon be
my Mrs.

In a digital mission,
you're sculpting
my vision.

Analog kisses.
We're closing
the distance.

Digital collisions
are spewing

Analog kisses.
Seminal wishes.

Seminal wishes.
Analog kisses.
Jul 2016 · 311
As We Crumble
Nick Burns Jul 2016
I'm not
the person
you think
I've become.
I'm not
so sure
about you.

We are
each one
side of
a canyon;
our shores
slightly apart.

You are
what I
need to
be whole.
Yet your
love for
me dies.

I miss
the endless
love that
you held
in your
beautiful eyes.
I had the edit of the century and closed my browser. I’ll make this an all-timer, I swear. It just needs some love.
May 2016 · 292
These Days
Nick Burns May 2016
These days,
Darkness actually envelopes me.
As box-fans are speaking to the dead.
There has been a mutiny happening.
It's going to happen again.

These days,
Demons haven't left footprints.
No, they've only time for their claws.
There is no need to cover evidence.
There is but hate from straight to cross.

These days have all become nights.
These days have nothing to lose.
These days are here for a fight.
These days bring only bad news.

These days,
I'm losing time.
I'm one without cause.
I'm one without rhyme.

These days,
we're on the rise.
We're one with another.
We're the all-seeing eye.
Apr 2016 · 348
Oh, do I proclaim!?
Nick Burns Apr 2016
I just want to feel alive!
I've been thinking about absurd things;
drumming up terrible ideas from an
endless well of no return!
What return could I muster?
Can I play the wolf without
preying upon the weak?
I'm searching for a middle ground;
yet, still, to codes, I am somewhat bound-
codes that may not live inside of me.
Oh, I've seen terrible things!
I have actualized- Nay! Come alive!
I've been here the entire time.
Where's the compass in me?!
Am I drawn to believe?!
Oh, tell me! Am I so unsure!?
We're all complacent in our own ways.
We're all bearable in at least one case!
We're the honesty
that we would love
to lead.
Apr 2016 · 332
Nick Burns Apr 2016
My love is burning evermore.
My love breathes ashes in the air.
She is the closest I abhor.

She is Despair.

My love is longingly ignored.
My love, she answers with a stare.
She is a cost I must afford.

She is Despair.

My love is pulsing with desire.
My love is anxious, unaware.
She is one voice in a choir.

She is Despair.

"My love," I'm asking, "are you scared?"
My love is shaking, broken, bare.
She is forgiveness scarcely shared.

She is Despair.
Feb 2016 · 300
Nick Burns Feb 2016
how much stock
can you put in a bluff
if you're not sure
it means much,
if you're not sure
it's enough?
Feb 2016 · 254
Say the Word
Nick Burns Feb 2016
You say the word,
I'll lead the way.
The cost is high,
we'll surely pay.
You've started a fire
that we can't put out.
There's no forgiveness
within our drought.

You say the word,
I'll wreck the past.
We split the cost
to raise the mast.
It is your silence
that seems to coast.
It is our distance
that hurts the most.

You say the word,
I'll lead the way.
We both will slowly
d  r  i  f  t    a  w  a  y.
Yet, without you,
I'm merely dust.
In suit, I'll follow,
if I must.

You say the word,
I'll wreck the past.
There is no point
in going last.
I will speak first
if you don't ask.
It is our sorrows
in which we bask.
Oct 2015 · 215
Nick Burns Oct 2015
If there is a god,
he must be a coward.
He never shows his face
in our worst of hours.

There are no signs
pointing in his favor.
Maybe he's run out
on his terrible neighbors.

There is no creed
to our repentance.
We've all been born
with a life sentence.
Apr 2015 · 220
Nite Noise
Nick Burns Apr 2015
The racket
starts it all;
lights the chain;
sounds the call.
is the echo;
it screams
to let go.
Let go.
Let go.
Mar 2015 · 657
Nick Burns Mar 2015
This is solace,
so let's
let the glass
go down.

This is solace,
no less
than living
life unbound.

This is solace,
your fingers
in my palm.

this is solace.
no harm.
Aug 2014 · 423
Nick Burns Aug 2014
Flaring inability of solid perception is eating me whole.
The boundaries of the mind continue to blur;
pressing forever's endeavors,
with each blink that I can't help.

The meaning of seeing is the same as believing,
but who has the will to consistently try?
Moments dissolve into memories over time
and even then, a thought is but itself.

Our downfall is our heresy
which wraps around and buries me.
So, here's to solidarity.
We all agree to disagree.

Such platforms merely can't conceive
us standing up as effigies,
since we'd prefer entirely
to one and all be entities.
Apr 2014 · 341
Nick Burns Apr 2014
There is a slight delay
in our speech and our ways,
the time for a choice
to make peace with disdain.

I found I was wrong.
You were right all along.
I'm a stuttering chorus.
You're a verse in a song.
Feb 2014 · 402
Just a Fix
Nick Burns Feb 2014
That was me.
I'd never heard of scrutiny,
but was sure that I knew everything.
I was the best I'd ever seen.

Then I turned 19,
I did my best to be unclean-
to make an end to all my means
by exploring everything obscene.
I made a point to ruin things.

When I was only barely 20,
I'd thought everything was funny,
but knew I had to grow up.
I knew all was cloudy and not sunny,
I was destined to **** up.

When I had just turned 21,
I had made a moon out of a sun.
I had poured the marrow from a bone.
I guess I reaped what I had sewn.

When I was still green at 22,
I didn't know just what to do.
I thought I knew how to push through,
but alcohol made me a fool.

By the time I hit 23,
It made me sick to look at me.
Mirrors saw me as practically,
as my best friends would ever see.

It went so fast- I was 24,
I knew I'd **** myself for sure.
I found my self in a whole new place-
it was Hell and much, much more.

By the time that I saw 25,
I wasn't sure I was alive.
I'd lived on so I could strive,
but I could not- at least I tried.

Now, I am almost 26.
Now, I'm hardly here
and I'm hardly ****.
It is all my fault,
that I'm amiss.

Jesus Christ is just a fix.
Dec 2013 · 3.7k
Pillow Talk
Nick Burns Dec 2013
We could talk about this season,
about how it's cold,
about how it hurts more every year.

We could talk about my patterns,
about how they grow,
about their ****** and its punctuality.

We could talk about change,
about how it's inevitable,
about how it could save us, if only we'd let it.

We could talk,
but then again,
just pass the flask.
Let's drink, my friend.
Dec 2013 · 331
Nick Burns Dec 2013
Death is all around us;
in beauty,
in sadness
and peace.
I wish it weren't in me.
Dec 2013 · 602
The American Dream
Nick Burns Dec 2013
I forge tentative tendencies
disregarding the embassies
that make sense of discrepancies.
This might be the end of me.

I've had struggles with infamy;
this shame is mine, partially.
I'd intended to skirt a plea,
but that was too challenging.

Don't make me scream,
American Dream.
Just send me on my way.

You turn water to steam,
American Dream,
with your never-ending flame.
Aug 2013 · 414
A Simple Man
Nick Burns Aug 2013
A simple man, I am.
Don't try to get confused,
don't try to understand.
I live my whole entire life
wading in the shallow end
and enjoy the total lack of strife
as solace is my dearest friend.

I am a body without plans.
Don't get confused,
you won't understand.
I am wallowing in fear again.
Don't feel abused,
just take my hand.
Nick Burns Jul 2013
what I need
is you to
tell me what
I've seen.

I want everything
since I'm
so hard
to make believe.

I know that we
will die together;
let's change
from flesh
to leather.

In time,
all storms
are weathered.
I am here
for worse,
or better.

My God,
I know forever
merely holds
but 7 letters.

My God,
I know I never
will believe
I could forget her.
Jul 2013 · 739
Of the Uintas
Nick Burns Jul 2013
Well, I put on a sweater and it smelled of the Uintas.
I'd merely just begun a quest, an adventure toward endearment.
I was looking for a home, or some sort of holy entrance.
I'm just not looking to become a never ending guilt trip.

I'd take anything sufficient, undying or resilient,
or anything for real that doesn't give in to indifference.
I need a love that won't ever stray and a heart that can take a fall.
I'd settle for a lack of malleability, something that won't give in at all.

I've been putting on an image; it hasn't seen its end of days.
Still, this notion of abhorrence hinders plans and I subside.
I have overcome persistence to acknowledge my own ways.
I'll be tearing down this hindrance to breach my system's override.

I'd take anything of brilliance to tackle my affiliates-
I'd take time measured in billionths to find out all my ailments.
I need a body that will not leave and opinions without stall.
I want it all, I've seen it all- don't sell me short, I need it all.
May 2013 · 825
Yes & No
Nick Burns May 2013
Yes, I am your lover, but I won't ever be your friend.
We will never be more than we have ever been.
I've been writing down these words in repentance of my sins.
There's no need to be alarmed; this merely ends where it begins.

No, you're not my lover, but you'll always be my friend.
We will never be as much as we've already been.
You've forced on me this distance and I will break before I bend.
There is cause to be alarmed; you've severed ties that we can't mend.
May 2013 · 460
Tell Me
Nick Burns May 2013
This fickle heart has done me wrong.
I miss you now that your are gone for good.
On my way down, I missed a rung.
I'm broken now and I've been stunned by you.

Tell me.
I don't know the difference
between love and heartbreak.

Sell me
out for being ignorant.
There isn't bliss when there's resistance.

Tell me,
'cause I don't know a thing.

Sell me.
I've been splitting at my seams.

We can talk about the damage done.
Let's stretch our legs so we can run around in circles.
I'll chew you up around my tongue
and spit you out when I am done, but I don't want to.

Tell me.
I don't know the difference
between love and heartbreak.

Sell me
out for being ignorant.
There isn't bliss when there's resistance.

Fail me.
I don't deserve a thing.

**** me,
and I won't even blink.

Tell me,
tell me anything.
Mar 2013 · 438
Flowers on Doomsday
Nick Burns Mar 2013
I can let go of everything;
I can release all that I'm holding.
This is the worst-case scenario-
I don't think I am boding well.

Sever all we've bound;
Let's get lost in the beauty of sound.

Let's make a plan to get clean,
a plan to get sober.
We wont give up without a fight-
This isn't over
and I wish I began
all of this sooner.

I can keep up with my mind.
I can, at least most of the time.
There definitely are ghosts in me-
I only preach what I believe.

As good as things began,
blossoms only grow old in the end.

Let's make a plan to get clean,
a plan to get sober.
You can't give up the ghost,
you've got to fight-
this isn't over.

So, why must this begin
over and over again?
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