Where has anything led?
& why have you not seen the disconnection yet?
Your path lies unbiased beyond the gateway home
&  you think the cardinals aligned to pick a character for all
- but it's really so small
&
nothing at all
seems to make you smile.
There doesn't have to be a reason
for
the world,
only that you find the meaning
in between
the winter cold.

Sometimes,
in the dark.
There is a note,
stuck to the door.
It is cut into the shape of a flower
& reads more like a thorn.
"I don't want to be stuck."
You only ever told me it once,
when it could have been a hundred times.

All of the petty
trying dreams that I had
they had left my hangin' by the spot I stood
and the heart that I had
forgotten
about

I remember driving away
for a
really long time
and staying up
for a
really shallow thought


Someday i'll find you
out there in the sand
jumpin' all around
in a space that sews the tides
and forgives the 'lone & tired
in a space that speaks of love
and little things that go your way.

How spacious this room
I only realized just now
how empty this hallway
with a sudden low sound
how forgotten this couch
how unplugged this thing
& how i wish it were the same
as a couple years ago, this spring.

I'd like to find a purpose in the pull of the night
I know it's there, I know I love it.
can't wrap my mind around it
Something
to do
with
you

I hate to see things go by me
as I count puddles in the street
I laugh
for seconds that seem so brief
then the rest of my day goes by

Yeah, it's so sudden
any change that we love
any embracement of the drug; we so casually ignore
any side affected fun that didn't last for days to come.

So we sit still, and cry out "numb"
while pain preaches to my broken thumbs.

Falling is a funny thing
Your insides feel like they're going up
and you sink
into the air below you
racing a timely
crafted
cliff.

Funny is as funny does
and the insider knowledge
known; Makes the
joke

I miss the sound of a new noise
every other day
& empty comparisons that leave
hooks in your brain,
and as we walk away
they tug at the thoughts
we didn't know we had

Wake and toss
the bed slides on the floor
so you
remember more
instead of drifting off.
There are no sides
no conflicts, really
just a drowning in tides
so to speak.
The small lights from my computer
linger
the hum of the fan
and the
leftover plans
I said i'd do yesterday.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow, i'll say.

Some thoughts swing like they're
a hinge on
the door of your mind
back and forth
and
back and forth;
Swollen.
Eventually the pressure
fades
People change
dreams shatter
and we go
our separate ways.
You start to
meet people at 4 way
stop signs
Like today,
I met this girl
she was coming from
the right
turning my way;
left,
but I was
also
turning left
,
going
that
way
instead.

Sometimes you
just know
which way your
turn signal
points
for a reason.

Uncle and I
never so connected
a coming of age was on it's way
& the cancer came like the friendly neighborhood
garden snake

Maybe you had gone away for the same reasons
-That some things aren't worth dying over
& a portable love that meant questions never ended
& life never had to actually make sense
it just had to go on.

Uncle, I
wish you were here

I was once in a dream but don’t feel so

anymore.

I used to take pills and

would feel like a bore.

I used to have nights where i’d stay up

and

drink.

I used to sing songs

that meant

something to

me.

I used to believe in Ghosts,

but now I just

don’t doubt.

I used to stay indoors,

now I can’t wait to

get

out.

You have to witness any

event in awe

for it to really

sink

in.

There has to be something there

other than an excuse

and a reason to count your sins.

The belief in more of infinity

and less

of an end.

At some point

you stop trying to conquer the walls;

destroying the buildings that we're in.

At some point, you just know what’s what.

There are different eyes to watch the world

but none of them know for sure

what they are watching.

half the time i'm too tired
&
half the time i'm not in the
mood.
A lot of the times
I never get where I want,
I never
enjoy as many things
as I
should.

But most of the time,
you're on my mind
& I can tell that it's something
good.
because none of the things
that I thought were so great
ever stood a chance against
you.