Sometimes,
I repeat myself
and let things flow into the trash

& some days
I really am lost
on
what to say

I know
i've only learned
a penny on a planets worth
of will & words
but
some days
&
some things
just let you know
what your life needs to be
& to go searching very hard
isn't
always
the case.

Little
by
little

Pain enters within
& from within; of course
of itself
&
for itself

This constant pain
should have been long gone
but still I wonder how
such a thing can remain

Maybe she was engraved within my very lungs
Maybe I was wrong; A fool in dumb love.
Maybe i've paid the attention too much
& forgotten how to advance through this world by myself
I look at everything as if it was Hell
Self-aware of my sight
compared
to the real
Self-aware never helps
the way that I feel.

I ache as my ligaments ponder their course through the air
& the frozen little notions of when I used to care.
Any amount of volume given to the correct note & sound
would remind me of you
just the way you were found - When my eyes had set forth from being young
dumb & in love
we'd set the summer in sun
& across the street was November - How things do change
How things do change..

time places its test upon an atlas-like
shoulder
sound escapes
&
shapes the world.

theory proves only what we imagine
to be
the universal truths are still true, in that
everything we know
we see
& everything we are is
incomplete

sudden quakes of the short fused
heart
tear me down and pull me apart
then raise me back up
to the untitled locking of windows
& cars

they seal themselves away
little naysayers
looking for a place
too clean to be true
too shallow to acknowledge
that when all this is done we won't have a thing
& when i'm dead & gone
i'll still sing
i'll still sing
i'll still sing
i'll still sing

I've driven past occasion on the date of
my realization;
A loners state of walk-in fast food joints
just to sit & eat alone

Unlucky aged elders
tell you what to do
& how to live
while their bank statements hold on
for dear life
like it's nothing to be concerned about
just as long as we follow
the
rules.

Helpless identifying self;
spreads worth like carbon
to an unviewing populace
of buttered up *****
selfish & corrupt

Helpless,
don't think you are.
You do something with your voice
& you let them know
just what
you mean when you say
anything at all.

Falling is a funny thing
Your insides feel like they're going up
and you sink
into the air below you
racing a timely
crafted
cliff.

Funny is as funny does
and the insider knowledge
known; Makes the
joke

I miss the sound of a new noise
every other day
& empty comparisons that leave
hooks in your brain,
and as we walk away
they tug at the thoughts
we didn't know we had

Uncle and I
never so connected
a coming of age was on it's way
& the cancer came like the friendly neighborhood
garden snake

Maybe you had gone away for the same reasons
-That some things aren't worth dying over
& a portable love that meant questions never ended
& life never had to actually make sense
it just had to go on.

Uncle, I
wish you were here

Where has anything led?
& why have you not seen the disconnection yet?
Your path lies unbiased beyond the gateway home
&  you think the cardinals aligned to pick a character for all
- but it's really so small
&
nothing at all
seems to make you smile.
There doesn't have to be a reason
for
the world,
only that you find the meaning
in between
the winter cold.

I never thought
i'd lie awake
to see the dawn
of an honest day
& the things you made
captured me so;
I could only find myself
in a portrait hung low
for no one to see.
So stay with me once
I promise you so
that any day now we'll go
to a place filled with snow
and a garden hidden well
but we know it to be there
in spring we'll find it sprung
in the earth everywhere.

Two hammers clashed to become something golden
I'd grow up feelin' old and I never told you.
I would say petty things and never forget them
& drink around fire like something was missin'

Apart from the steed that carries us 'round
we remember our legs are as good as the ground.
Nothin' short of the sea; Stretched out honestly
to a coastline gone missing;
Just like you & me.

Dream of
a ****** thing;
The reason the wandering sing
The way in which a new year springs

Laugh at
any old scarecrow
too much time to take for granted
too many funerals to remind us in
due time

I sat outside of myself
I never really went back inside
I just kept walking.
Still am.