February 13, 2015 12:46am

when I shined the light on the sidewalk
the little glimmers in the concrete began to shift and sway
and they all saw it
but they don't exist
presences to keep me from loneliness
I wonder who's holding me right now
is it a ghost, a lover, or my imagination?

–*newportsmooths h.g.

February 7, 2015 11:51pm*

it smells like spring of my sophomore year:
things seemingly falling into place
while I was falling in love,
and I'm pushing away the memories.
all those faces bring bitter feelings to mind.
why did the puzzle seem to come together
while the picture slowly made less sense?

–newportsmooths h.g.

February 5, 2015 12:58am

I walked out interrupting a conversation:
a circle of empty chairs on my back porch.
I have no clue as to what they spoke of,
but they seemed slightly offended by my presence.
the wind rustles leaves to sound like animals;
the creaks and whispers hinting at death.
it all has me so grateful to breathe for the experience–
walking in on ghostly talk, yet never finding fear from it.

-*newportsmooths h.g.

January 26, 2015 6:22pm

there's always chaos within the walls of the needy
burglars of beauty and energy
striving to find themselves in someone else.
it's more sad than poetic,
the way humans appear to be hollow shells.
if you put an ear to their chest
you'd hear the sound of the ocean
that's really just an echo of your blood rushing
in the emptiness of their ribcage.

-*newportsmooths h.g.

February 3, 2015 8:53am

It feels as if I've woken up on another planet
and I'm not used to the difference in gravity
pulling on my body with more force than familiar.
It could be the withdrawals weighing me down.
Seemingly swimming or drowning in a cloudy headspace.
Plagued with constant desire to run away.
I often lose recognition of my own face
from spending the past 3 years in a pharmaceutical daze.
Waking up in frustration and pointless rage
exhausts my soul and I'm done with the pills
there's not a capsule to swallow that can make me sane.

-*newportsmooths h.g.

January 15, 2015 9:40am

I feel the anger swell within me
nothing to do but feel my hands shake
and trace my eyes across the texture of the carpet
hoping to find more steady breaths
or some sort of comfort in writing
but my head feels like static on a television
while my stomach turns in disgust
every limb of mine stays tense
a restriction in my chest
to keep my lungs from filling
and my heart from beating or bursting
I'm seeing only red blurs
and mind games of the Devil's Carnival
step right up at your own risk
I can't promise no one's getting hurt

-*newportsmooths h.g.

January 14, 2015 1:08pm

I've been falling behind in feeling alive;
my eyelids feel heavier than my limbs.
The task of breathing requires more effort;
I don't think it's from smoking is what scares me.
Lacking energy to perform subconscious acts
has me wondering if I'm really living.
Sometimes my whole body goes numb
and all I feel is my heartbeat pulsing throughout me,
pulsing as if to emphasize an end growing near.

-*newportsmooths h.g.