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 Dec 2012 Never Ending Tangle
Z
remember that rhyme?
the one about time?
with the mouse, and the house,
and the tick-tock of the clock?
hickory, dickory dock,
i'm like a mouse,
stuck in a clock.
the time it ticks,
the time it tocks,
and you and i,
we stick,
and talk.
and you tell me about your life,
and how she's hurt you so,
and i sit here and wonder,
if you even know.
you hurt me the same,
in case it doesn't show.
i felt for you.
love.
and hope.
and i held on,
even at the end of my rope.
until my hands were burned,
and my arms were sore,
and i couldn't hold on,
to nothing anymore.
and even then i held, still,
fought against my body,
and my brains will,
because my heart,
would simply ****,
to feel your touch,
to know that thrill.
but eventually time,
it ripped you away,
i could not hold on,
i could not stay,
what could be done was done,
what i could, i did say.
and still you pulled that rope away.
i thought you were my life line,
that one day,
you might be mine.
but you aren't,
and you weren't,
and you never will,
because even though it hurts,
you love her still.
time heals all wounds,
or at least thats what i'm told,
and in the winter nights,
when your cold heart keeps you cold,
i hope you know that i could have been yours,
to have and to hold,
only if i would have told,
if only i could have been so bold.
hickory, dickory, dock.
the mouse ran up the clock,
the clock struck "done",
the mouse ran down,
hickory,
dickory,
dock.
I worked really ******* this. And I really like the flow of it when I read it out loud.
I stood behind you
And spoke your name
Around you turn
To look at me
With eyes wide open
It took you two moments to realize it was me
That's how long it has been
I want to fix that
I want you to know me
I take a step toward you
A smile grows on your face
A generous hug your arms give me
And we take a walk out to the night
Before I head my way back home
You take the risk that I was scared to take
And kissed me right on my lips
Warm
Is how I would describe it
It felt so right
But this is only a dream
Rolling over
Under the covers
I find a smile
And it feels good
I love dreaming *****
I'm quiet
Oh so quiet
And you all wonder why
I'm quiet because I'm broken
I'm quiet because of my thoughts
I'm quiet because I'm weak
But it's my choice to stay quiet
I don't like it
But trust me
You don't want to hear what I have to say
You don't want to hear my stories
I'm sad
I'm sensitive to everything
I'm a mess
You just don't know it yet
And you won't ever know
I've been through a lot
And I think that last blow to my heart was the last straw
Because I feel so completely different now
I don't want to try
I've never been this scared to try again
Fear and anger drown me
I'm left here terrified to reach out to anyone
If you only knew
The things I've been told
The things that have been said to me
By the ones I care about most
It haunts me
I'm honestly scared
Because I can't get hurt like that again
I won't make it
I already have doubt about making it through this one
And the thing is
I don't know what I have to do to make people see
To make people stay
I can be a good person
I am a good person
You just have to get past my wall
Trust isn't easy with me anymore
I always end up getting ****** over by the ones I thought I could trust
And when that happens enough times
You become quiet
When your trust is betrayed
Your doubting starts
Confidence levels drop
So
I'm sorry I don't fit in with any of your high energy level happiness
I'm sorry I'd rather listen than speak
I'm sorry I'd rather mind my own business than deal with pointless drama
But when you do gain my trust
I won't let you down
If you need me
I'll be there
That's the kind of person I am
I should just stop writing altogether.
Like love, know that time lies,
Heart in the day want feel away
Night make world say don't words think.

I'm mind little things light.
Don't long man face look left, right
Tell people need good soul.
Lost sun, hand place hands new pain.
Old inside smile.

Remember full sky,
God hope days cold.
Ill thing live,
tears black leave dreams.

Oh skin, air, gone past lips.
New thoughts can't far white,
Going beautiful dream.
Girl goes deep, your sleep stop.

Hail that lovely laughter juice.
I just noticed some of the words in the trending words section seemed to correspond well together, and in a way sort of made "semi-sense". Some of it I have altered, for example, words like "knew" I changed to "new", to add a little more meaning to the line.

The last line comes from a short medley of words I put together using big fridge magnets in the Tate Gallery in London. I felt it would be a suitable closing for the poem.
Some days I stare at my hands,
Trying to find my singularity-
Individuality!
Lost in the muddle of plurality!
When you exchanged my heart,
And swapped in your own.
The boys, the boys, they can't help but stare at her
as she's talking, she's walking in iambic pentameter

She breathes in italics
Words fall from her lips
San-serif movements
Punctuate her hips

She writes, she paints, her dreams soak the paper
such beauty, such beauty, my willpower waivers

Her eyes tell a story
in which I want to belong
Only she knows the ending
as she has all along

I wish, I want, a new story to start
with her, with her, with all of my heart
-.-
I keep my feelings in a bottle and I carry them around.
Corked and sealed I keep my emotions bound.
But the weight is getting heavy and my chest is starting to ache.
And I'm not too sure how much more of this I can take.
To expose them is to risky.
The price is too steep.
The thought of being vulnerable makes my heart skip a beat.
The fear of rejection and humiliation keep my emotions at bay.
I would rather tell a lie than say what I really wanna say.
Just like Romeo and Caesar I have a flawed personality.
Does this mean that I am ****** to live out a tragedy.
Yeah, I'm insane.

Everyone knows it, they just don't say it to my face.
It's probably better if they...or someone calls the police
before someone gets hurt....or something goes

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