You told me that you loved me once.
Once in that year and a half that we were together.
You told me that I made you happy.
That when I was away from you nothing felt right.
But then the moment we were together again
And you put your hand in mine,
Everything was alright again.
It was as if nothing bad had ever happened.
Like the fights we had never existed.

Because we saw them for what they were,
Petty spats that spawned from ours hearts
Our hearts being so infuriated at the fact that they weren’t together
Together beating as one heart.

For that’s what we were.
We were one heart.
For without you, I felt a hole within my chest
But with you I felt complete.

But then you began to change.
Change from the sweet, quiet boy that I knew
The boy I fell in love with.
You changed into a boy of vigor and of confidence.
You told me I had given you confidence
For I made you feel worth and importance.

But your confidence turned into arrogance
An arrogance which grabbed ahold of you
And tore you away from me.
Our one heart was torn into two.
While your half grew into a full heart,
My half reminded merely a ****** piece of debris,
Debris of the love we had once shared.

I often question if our love was a real love,
But deep down I know it was.
For while romance fades,
Love does not.
I will always love the boy you were
But for now I hate the man you have become.

I want to drown
Drown in the sound of your voice
Voice I hear resounding in my head
Head that is filled with a million thoughts
Thoughts that stem from unanswered questions
Questions that fear responses
Responses that that will never fulfill me
Me who sits constantly talking to myself
Myself who is my greatest enemy
Enemy of my heart
Heart which is pulled deeper
Deeper into pain
Pain which is caused by refusing to let go
Go where I know I shouldn’t
Shouldn’t lead myself on
On to what ifs
What ifs that I know are impossible
Impossible yet seem so real in my dreams
Dreams that refuse to let me see reality
Reality that I don’t want to believe
Believe that the past is behind us
Us which will never be
Be what I imagine it in my head
Head that holds the secrets of my heart
Heart which won’t go of you
You which let go of me
Me who can only rely on I

You doubt yourself because others doubt you.
You doubt that you are good enough, smart enough.
You doubt that you can get through college.
You doubt that you could be the first in your family to graduate.

It hurts me to see you doubt yourself.
You who have so much to offer the world.
It hurts me to see your own friends doubt you.
Do they not realize how their thoughts and actions affect you?

Creating goals for oneself does not mean you are setting yourself up for failure.
However without people around you who believe in you,
It is understandable why you can't believe in yourself.
But I believe in you.

I believe if you set your mind to it you can do great things.
I believe you can graduate from college.
I believe you are better than what others think of you.
I believe you are better than what you think of yourself.

If only I could tell you all of these things.
If only you would believe me.
If only you could see what I see.
If only you could see all that you could be.

I don't believe that love exists.
I don't believe in a true love's kiss.
Children may believe in fairy tales,
But reality isn't fuzzy feelings and cotton tails.

I am not depressed, and I am not bitter.
I have just learned that life is in the *******.
Sorry if my poem makes you sad,
But happiness is not something to be had.

I hope one day you prove me wrong,
And maybe my change of heart will be made into a song.
But for now I do not have any great expectations.
Instead I try to stay away from great temptations.

The temptations that make me want to believe
That love is real and I am not naive.
But for now I must lock away my heart and throw away the key
And also the hope that Prince Charming is out there looking for me.

Afraid
Of the unknown
Of what lies ahead
Of the things I can't control
Of the things I can control
Of the things that might change my life
Of my life never changing
Of failure
Of success
Of something terrible happening
Of something wonderful happening
Of nothing happening
Of my life being meaningless
Of my life having purpose
Of never finding happiness
Of never finding myself
Of life.
I am afraid of everything and nothing.

As I watch the people scurry around me
Like ants in a maze
Living the lives they believe are their own,
I wonder if they can even fathom
All the lies and secrets that surround them?

Our world has turned into a place
That feeds on lies
And treats honesty like a crime,
A crime deserving of immense punishment.

Lies end in reward.
Honesty in scorn.
I loathe the liars,
For they are cowards.

While honesty may hurt now,
A lie will grow and spread like a wildfire,
Like a disease,
Lethal to all those who come in contact with it.

I am not immune to this disease.
On the contrary,
I am a carrier of it.

I’ve always been told
My honesty and abruptness get me into trouble,
But I would rather be openly criticized
To my face for my honesty
Then have people feed and thrive on my lies.

They say “revenge is a dish best served cold.”
Lucky for me, my emotions can never just go into hiding.
They are always front and center
Just waiting to be poked and prodded,
A fire ready to ignite and consume.

That's what I need.
Just a friend to be there for me.
Someone to listen to me as I cry,
But then cracks a joke,
And we laugh until we die.

I've never been one to keep good friends.
They leave me or I lose them
Again and again.
But this time it's different,
I can feel it in my soul.
Quality over quantity are my friends,
And I'm never letting go.