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- Sep 2013
its too early to think
need a drink
to blank out
thoughts
of you

you're stuck
in my head
get out
don't
want
you
there

feeling nothing
but dread
© Natali Veronica 2013.
- Sep 2013
Can't go on without your love
You are the one I'll always want
I feel like I have found the one
But you don't love me and it hurts
Please forgive me, falling hard
For the one who left me scarred
My heart is empty without you
You're the reason I pulled through
Don't leave me alone here
I'm falling down the stairs
My dress is covered with stains
The stains which are my flaws
Forgive me, I'm losing control
I need your love, I'm so ill
There are no happy pills
Only lows and temporary thrills
Cannot go on like this
You said you'd catch my fall
My heart, it suffocates
You made me feel
Like I had it all
You took my heart
I broke down my walls
Stood for nothing
Now my heart
Is crumbling
My hands are shaking
My knees are trembling
You are the medicine
Why aren't you then?
© Natali Veronica 2013.
- Sep 2013
You keep me from sinking
You keep me breathing
You are my reason for living
Let me be the reason
You're still surviving.
© Natali Veronica 2013.
- Sep 2013
As much as I despise it
My love for you is

                                    F A R
Beyond the hatred.

I love your sinful,
beautiful ways,
of playing with,
my heartstrings.

I guess I love...everything.
Your ugly sins.
Your beautiful lies.
Your tainted feelings.
How I wish I could despise.

Oh, your anger.
Oh your clever ***** ways,
of playing with my heartstrings.

Your filthy hands covered in my blood of love.
You never even had the chance to put on gloves.
© Natali Veronica 2013.
- Sep 2013
Over the past few years, the need for happiness,
was high, but my feelings were low,
I guess you could say I am numb,
but I have a strong appearance,
so the sadness never shows.

The happier I was at times,
the more misfortune I'd receive,
as an unwelcome gift.

My heart has been torn, broken,
emotionally scarred and bruised,
but I have never given in to the pain,
because of the strength I supposedly possess,
a reason I let go without thought,
despite knowing of the later,
consequence of me doing so,
eventually I knew that trouble,
trouble was to come & I'd be undone,
I would have to battle myself again,
knowing I could be easily broken,
while trying to patch up my old wounds,
and heal my own personal scars.

A few years ago, I had no faith,
I had no hope, I had no strength,
I was lost, delusional at my worst,
trying to keep myself together,
in this battle of life or death.

I have my own share of regrets,
my secrets, my stories to tell,
but the thought of telling people,
made my eyes swell up,
ready to cry tears,
I was willing to stop,
stop my own heart,
to keep my pain,
a secret in tact.

Self-love, what is that?
I have never known it.
I have only ever covered myself,
in the disguise which is my smile,
whether anyone ever knew,
I guess I'll never know.
© Natali Veronica 2013.
- Sep 2013
That legacy of hers will never fade
Even though she's far away
Up in those clouds
Those clouds of white
She's the most beautiful star
In this entire, darling sky

Her face, I haven't seen in years
The girl who left a hole in our hearts
Sidonie was a blessing to know
My love continues to grow
The poet with a mind of gold
Her poems brought out the best
In people, young and old

I miss her constantly
And I lost myself
A thousand times
She truly was
The shining light
But when she died
I seemed to fall apart
Got lost in my sadness
And fell in love with the dark
I miss my favorite poet so much.
© Natali Veronica 2013.

Happy 22nd birthday to my favorite poet.
Gone but never, ever forgotten.
I love you Sidonie.
We'll meet again one day.
We'll be united once more.
- Sep 2013
I'll never be as great as her. I will never escape the expectations. Neither will I ever be anything more than, a relative to the bright star. I'll be in the corner.

People expect me to be as good, as creative, as talented, as perfect..but I never will be. I could make the most beautiful dress ever seen, and it still wouldn't be worth anything more.

It's like a dark cloud covers me. A feeling of 'am I going to be enough?' It's not jealousy, or self-pity. It is that feeling of emptiness. That feeling of wanting to be useful. That feeling of wanting to succeed.

I'm not secure in myself. My confidence drops faster, than my tears in the dead of night.

I guess I am afraid of being just the 'sister'. I guess I feel like nothing I do will compare.

I just want to make people proud.
This is not a poem. It doesn't rhyme,
and it's just something I wrote..to vent.

© Natali Veronica 2013.
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