- - Hello Poetry

- Aug 2013

My stable house of cards is about to collapse
My stomach is literally in knots
Trying to cope with all this
This sense of unhappiness
Which affects my relationships
More than it probably should
It's all so mixed up
I wish I could
Run away from my thoughts
But I know I can't
So I'm drowning in those
Like a girl that can't swim
In the rivers of love
In the rivers of pain
Constantly trying
To give herself healing
To try and cover her wounds
But she knows she never could
Lost, misunderstood
Trying to hold on
Trying to stand
On the cold
Hard ground
Even though
She would rather

*Drown

© Natali Veronica 2013.

This poem is not exactly great, but I felt like writing this...because of the mood I'm currently in.

- Aug 2013

Lie Of A Smile

Always at war with myself
Constantly self-loathing
Lacking in confidence
Blaming my problems
On everybody else
Shutting people out
Is what I'm best at
I'm **** at showing emotion
Although sometimes
My smile cracks
And my pain shows
In my sunken eyes

It's such a pain
Just waking up
Every day
I act like
I'm fine
When in reality
I'm far from
That state of mind
I hide my body
Except my face
So I can fool everyone
With that lie of a smile
That I always embrace
Even though my thoughts
Are always of suffocation
And painful death
No one would know
Because the pain I feel
I never show and tell any soul

I could be smiling so bright
As I'd constantly think
Of the ways I could die
I could laugh out loud
And think of those razor blades
That I'd love to use on my pale skin
But you'd never suspect me thinking of this
Because, there's a lie of a smile on my face

Constantly triggered, yes I am indeed
But that's something you'd never see
Because that's the part of me
That I hide away from every soul
The ones I love mean more to me
Than my own tragic self

- Aug 2013

One Look

It's way past seven
Still haven't slept
All I'm thinking of
Is him and his face
The way I fall
Into day dreams
Escaping reality
For what feels like
Absolute eternity

He makes it worth the time
And the moments of
Constant lust
Like a ghost
Sending chills
Down my spine

****, I can feel the cold
Like his hands travel down
And touch all over my skin
This one really knows
Every trick in the book
Stole my heart
With just
One look

- Aug 2013

Heaven on Earth

I stained your body
With lipstick marks
You stained my soul
With your blunts
Kissing you is a must
Just because I like it when
Our lips touch during the night
You're addictive, very much so
I wish I never tried to let you go

You soothe my soul like alcohol
You ******* alive
Just like Rock 'N' Roll
I swear, this man
Has his hands
On my soul

He loves taking control
Like the bad boy he is
But he also knows
How to treat a girl
Like a princess

Oh, the ***
Oh, the love he gives
Oh, the control he has
Can't seem to get enough
This is what I call
Heaven on Earth

- Aug 2013

Now I'm In Love

I am the woman of your dreams
You are the lover of the night
But there's something about you
Something I just can't describe

I just don't know anymore
Am I losing my sense of mind?
I've just never felt this before
Your love has made me blind

Not as strong as I once thought
Because now, I'm in love
With the man
I only wanted
To ******
I guess love
Truly bites
When you
Find the
**One

- Aug 2013

I Bet He Loves It

I bet you're loving this
The fact that I miss
Your deadly touch
You must feel happy
Knowing you are
Making me crazy
Making me regret
Ever breaking your heart
But it was an accident
I never meant for you to hurt
You're probably reading this
With a smile on your face
Knowing that I miss you
And your ***** words
And your bittersweet love

The things that drove me insane
With pleasure but with pain

- Aug 2013

Why Must I Feel?

So many feelings and emotions
Inside this heart of mine
Almost like a sweet poison
Eating away at my fragile mind
Numbing my soul and brain
Making me feel like
I made the worst mistakes
Of my entire life
Why must I be human?
And suffer such painful consequence
I know I deserved it but
None of this makes any sense
But it sure is weighing heavy
On my tainted conscience
Please help, I've lost myself
Not sure who I want
To activate my heart
Not sure what I should feel
Whether any of this
Is even real
Whether it's fake
Or not?
I guess I'll never know
Tears in my eyes
I feel I've done wrong
I can't help but cry
When I think of
What I have said
What I have done
I feel like a criminal
Blood on my hands
I feel like I'm paying the price
For all my sins