If I could write you with words
The way I thought of you
You would be complex and incomplete
Growing but always enough
Constant
And always beauteous

You would be authentic
And joyful
Causing clans to ululate a heavenly sound that shakes the earth with glorious thunder

You would be a white so pure titanium would be weak in the knees
You would be a torch that starts a wildfire
So bright the sun would envy and awake from its slumber in the night

Mighty waves of the sea would crash one on top of the other just to see what it is that you are

You would be a thing that makes everyone know that they are beautiful in a way that suggests ugly weren't a thing

Yet I know not what you are
And words are too shallow for the depths of you

Why do we deserve patents
When we aren't the painters of this life

And now it's a competition between you and mom
About who ******* me up the least
It was you, and mom when you did those things I won't say but will do,

I will say sorry though,
'Cause I feel bad,
Sometimes for being here.
Everything good happend before I came along.
According to your anecdotes I was the buffer to your happiness.
Your notes changed from melodies to memories
It's now lullabies to baby at 3am

But to be honest this isn't on me
You're too busy missing the old
You forgot to love new.
The new fat that shows I'll always be a part of you,
You didn't look in my eyes when they said you're the most beautiful thing I've seen
The sun is still out, it's just landed on a new beautiful
You need to appreciate, and know that to be mom is to be everything that you already are

I'm angry at everyone for everything.
It was all going good, until at some point it just wasn't.
After that, I stopped seeing you.
There stopped being proof that goodness existed.
I was sorry,
Then I wasn't.

The more I try, I realise you're not a genie,
And there's no such thing as magic.
More than just in theory
And that's causing damage.

The ground beneath my feet is shaking,
The ship I'm in is sinking,
And I'm not sure I can go any deeper.

Pieces of you keeping afloat,
My head barely above the still water
But the raging sea inside of me
Keeps changing form,
A blizzard,
An aqueous inundation,
I'm submerged.
My suppressed feelings pressed so close together into something I can't recognize and therefore cannot express.
And somehow all I can get out is the little love I have for me
While you creep in and stay in the only place I had to myself
You took more than I ever intended on giving
And I'll have to live with that forever.