Don't hide your beautiful smile.
It's contagious
You're beauty is dangerous
May I spam you?
To late hope you enjoy the view
Hey ******, how you feeling?
Woukd you like me to go?
I'm a at least spam you with a handfull of compliments
There is no way you can win these arguments
You may have to accept it because you have amazing confidence

I fell in love with some regrets
For all the experience I'm happy to say I've learned self-respect
Just broke down for a minute
But ***** it I'm going to revisit
What's love without disappointment?
Guess I'll never know without a propper appointment.
I'd like a PRN for anxiety!
I don't remember a RX# but I can tell you my mental reality.

She doesn't know her worth
She's afraid to make it work
He's crying till he feels her soft touch
He realizes he's not much
May his wishes be denied
Yet he wishes upon the stars everynight
Not every wishes come true
Hard work and time has a seceret value
Why must it still be the end
He's daydreaming because he can accept reality

Sorry to hear that
Wish I can help dad
Can't believe what's been going on
How are we able to put up with things this long
I know we're not alright
But we'll be fine
Wish things weren't ******* us over so much
Half tempted to give up
But dad why they ****** with you
You're more stable and you've always pulled through
You taught me what not to do
Taught me better and showed me what to do
Now you're getting ******
What'd happened because life really does ****
Hearing about you now low key......boosted more anxiety
But I'm not saying ****
I know we're not perfect
But **** man we giving it our all
And past so much more
We both saw things go out that door
Sorry dad,
If could I'd toss you everything i have
Wouldn't want it back
Getting harder to keep track
Especially when its the ******* past

I stay close to my daddy
He knew how to fix happy
The struggle I see in his eyes though
Makes me want to search for his hope
He's a single father
Watching for the youngest but it's no bother
That's his daughter
The **** I'd do
The things I've gone through
Daddy I'm sorry for being a ***
But I'll always have your back
You've fixed me, now I gotta help you
Wish I could run your world to pay it back
Hell I'll start so set me up I'm a run this track
Sprint to your heart
Pray and hope you won't fall apart
I remember watching tears form but they didn't pour
That type of a struggle is something I wouldn't want to see anymore
Mama walked out on me too
I know what's it like to lose
But God forbid I let any ****** hurt you again
Ask that ******* that tried to say your name In vain, but was supposed a joke?
I'd a smashed his brain
Call me insane but it's the wealth that's broke
Daddy taught me about being rich by personality
I just pray that one day I'll be able to see you happy

Hey Dad,
Sorry I don't call back
Just know I'm here
About to grab a cold beer
It's the aggressive temporary hatred I fear
I wish I wasn't so ****** up
Especially when I turn suicidal
But just know its only for a minute
Hopefully I will be able to quit
Just isn't how I envisioned it
But with this **** I just wanted a little bit
Dad you've been my hero
I wanted to be just like my dad
But then I drowned and lived in the dark past
I'm fine.

I know that some people don't have a father.
Most tell me to not to bother.
I wonder why things gotta to be cold.
I guessing time fly's all till you're at least 90 years old.
Dad look what you put my siblings through.
I didn't care about me it was them not you.
Look at me when I'm talking,
your youngest son's locked up.
All right now tough love.
You only care about your new girl.
Now I'd a wish I hadn't gotten close in the ****** up world.
You use to be my hero.
Now you ignore me,
Only request when helps needed.
Why use sleep and work as an excuse?
I see you drive by all the time so I just now refuse.
I remember crying for you.
Mom takes it wrong and she's no help.
I'm beginning to ignore my health.
Mom and I fight to much.
I realize you aren't a decent dad and Now you're my crutch.
Thanks for "teaching Independents"
None of us trust you.
You can't buy it or buy your way out.
So stop playing DAD there's the door go ahead and walk out.

What would it be like to rewind time? If only I can replay that on repeat I'd always visit my favorite times. Now I'm empty and trying to not cry, I distract myself to take a break but I still crumble inside. I eat to have enough energy to waste. I am about to put some pills onto my diet plate. A dose of depression was all I can taste. But I put on dad's jersey, even though it now hurts me. But I still feel comfort in that pain. Hurt like hell to carry you to your grave, I Burried you and now all I have left is your name. You died at a young age, now I'm trying to avoid making calls to your cell. Losing you and your mom in the same week hurt like hell. But you'll always be my hero, I may not be able to call. But I've got some alcohol. Potentially tempted to get a xan or a clonazeapam. Either way losing you would be the worse drug dose. You and I were so close. But I hang my dad's jersey and the clothes I wore when he passed. All I can day dream about is him randomly calling my cell back.

Somewhere there is someone out there going through changes.
I'm all by myself and wondering why
I couldn't make it.
Please don't **** yourself
Please take care of you and watch out for your mental health.
I'm guilty of going back on my word.
Calmn down I'm human too I just gotta learn.
Does anyone know me?
Do they know I'm still not okay?
**** who actually gives a **** though.
**** won't change because I still feel alone.
It's just not fair, guess who's gonna be isolating till my bed throws me out.
I've only been able to **** things up.
I'm everyone ls regretting mistake.
I've been the one to break.
I've been the cause of both.
Now I'm all alone.
Guess it's karma letting me know I'm officially the worse

Our insecurities are in danger
Where do I stand without anger
Are you serious about experimenting with another in others?
Please don't its torturous.
Its exhaustive to think about
Even to dream about
Then I mentally scream it out
Don't leave come home

All alone in the dark
Determined to fall apart
Waited till I crossed my heart
Tears formed and the agony is about to start
I straight up lost control
Don't even know where to go
Hands on a shovel
Digging a hole about to work on the double
Buried everything I've got to isolate
Suppressed my feelings hopefully no one's coming to my wake
Everything is so dark
Can't believe I broke my own heart
Since no one is near me
I begin to yell and scream
Sky's black, the weather matches the setting
I didn't want to be alone in the darkness
I'm currently living alone in the darkness
Feels like the world spin me around to fast
I'm dizzy and drinking out of the glass
With he bottle I never want to pass
Hands on a bottle, pills in a shot glass
About to hit it harder than my last
The sun's still down with my hands on the shovel
I will stay late, **** it I'll work the double
Not much for life just more debt to be in trouble
I'll slam this pillshot
Bury my sorrows with prayers for a better tomorrow
Whats light again? I forgot

I've got these dark spots, breaking the walls and all my locks. I've got these dark thoughts, with a dark cloud chilling on top. Thought about death and even self destructive intentions. If only you can watch the **** I imagine. My heart told me to go to bed, but I chose to drown in my head. Imagine drinking to feel alive, but happiness began to be deprived. I can see myself go up just to fall deeper down. I'd put out the flames with gasoline, drown under water to avoid my scream. Talking and daydreaming of love finding me. But like Nemo I'm lost and my dark thoughts put me far and I can't be found. I'll keep myself in a isolated box, ship myself away so you can't imagine these dark thoughts. Drink pure glass and rocks. A sharp rough forced entry. Swallow that **** with a barbed wire wrapped around me. What the ***** going on with me? Now I smile at the thought of being violent, I cry when a beautiful gesture caused these thoughts to be so silent. Maybe I shouldn't be alone when I get these dark thoughts.

Darling come home
I’ve got the sweets for you my dear
Wish I can hold you till it’s all clear
Need you as my love hopefully my wife
I’ll do everything to make you feel alright
Darling come home I’ve got a sweet tooth
Eat up some junk food
Watch all of our movies and put on you favorite happy tunes
Go out to eat to watch some YouTube
You’re my everything baby boo

If I had a rose returned from every girl I attempt to talk too, I believe my hand would be full of scars. I guess I have a odd face with a slight attitude. Sorry sweets I don't trust easy I've been alone since I was about 22. Not like I'm the only one talking to you. I went from being first in line and used to play varsity. Seems like I'm now benched and became a ******* alternate.
***** the difference, I'm still the best anyone can offer. Who cares who's hotter? At least I know where my loyalty falls and I know where her words lie.
I throw salt at the ghost when they avoid saying good bye.

Look i might just pretend these people don't always exist in this planet. i got the love i need and no one else will have it. i may be overwhelmed and protective. but its hard to ignore i might as well be a detective. i could never wait to come see you. all day i wonder what we can do. maybe go out or chill and settle. but i will refuse to lose this I'm a fight for it like i were to get a medal. salute to all the soldiers and to my elders, what i was taught was lessons to become what's needed to complete me. now i want to be all noticed at the moments of what should be.
  I’m day dreaming all over again. dreams and true love is all just open. just yesterday i day dreamed to live with the beautiful girl, who now should never let me go. time use to be wasting along with others that would be pacing. they won't ever be compared, you're my only and preciously rare. i can not express my love.
Is it to hard to give anyone compliments or is it hard to speak. i know it can be tough but you just can't be weak. i laid down my eyes on the smile and then waited a while. i was searching the world for that beautiful girl.
  I’m day dreaming all over again. dreams and true love is all just open. just yesterday i day dreamed to live with the beautiful girl, who now should never let me go. time use to be wasting along with others that would be pacing. they won't ever be compared, you're my only and preciously rare. i can not express my love.
  I was taught to enjoy the moment don't rush it. but depending on time you may have to savor it. i began day dreaming to avoid bad flaws, now i am just waiting for fall. play some sports and the chills of the breeze going through my skin, then feel the goosebumps chills like my veins were to open. damp cut grass is so laid back, now i am complete nothing to lose some slack.
i use to search the world, not only the world, i have the life and the girl, making some decent friends and plan to marry my girl. i can justify.
  I’m day dreaming all over again. dreams and true love is all just open. just yesterday i day dreamed to live with the beautiful girl, who now should never let me go. time use to be wasting along with others that would be pacing. they won't ever be compared, you're my only and preciously rare. i can not express my love.


Babe, I love you sooooo much please be mine for the rest of our lives.

Last names a myth
Hard to find love to be with
All I've wanted was someone to kiss
Tell them how much I miss
Because there's nothing as pure as this
I think love died because now I'm a ghost
**** stings the most
Love taunts me because I'm haunted
Hush I see the stars tonight
Wish I had someone real to hold me tight
Speak softly and tell me I'm loved
Wake up Nel, you're daydreaming again

Not like I can pull in for the drive
This is the only highlight
The beer I've consumed
The music I've got on iTunes
Dead end, lost a good friend
Seems to be the new trend
One second we're out and about
Next we separate with out reaching out
A dead end can be either for worse or the best
But doesn't stop me feeling upset
Same kind of drama
Depression giving people a reason to put life in a coma
Head in the clouds they say
But I struggle with **** everyday
I put my boots on and work til 2am
With no one to turn to
Sometimes I'll just drive
All that to watch the sun rise
Tell me something for you to not to take my advice
So I don't have to replay I told you so in the back of my mind
**** happens all the time
Here's a question I've got to ask myself....
Is this my dead end or is it yours?

Anxiety will you kindly go away?
I've asked nicely,  I've asked violently.
Why are you the only one really committed to me?
You've wrecked my life
You've wrecked my confidence
Now I'm to sit here and take it
Anxiety is the end of happiness
Everyone is under stress
Because of you
Because of what you've personally put me through
Will you just please stop destroying me when I reach for my best
I'm still learning life yet

My only pen pal, but I know my words. Been through worse. I don't care where I sleep. Even if it's on concrete. Warmth isn't my friend but I've made my bed. Wouldn't plan to quit. Sure that razor and prescription meds had my love. But I found out it was more than enough. Sure I doubt, I pout, but after that I'm out.
You can cause me pain, but I'll be okay. I've got some self hate, but that'll be okay. If no one loves me atleast I've got me. I know darkness well. Don't need compliments from hell. Hey doubt, guess who found myself? I am surviving mental health. Dear doubt, you don't have to worry about me. Just chilling by my lonesome drinking some Bacardi.
P.S
Why continue to doubt me but not your own reflection?

I love and miss you a lot,
Buried you and my father together in a spot
I couldn't help to cry I even fought
Hurts to let you go too
You were leaving too I had no clue
I'm home safe now, with you were doing the same.
But I followed your last request and brought dad home

I want you to accept defeat, I laugh at you when you're off your feet. I doubt you because you're a *******. With this life **** you need to quit. You're not going to heaven,  hell you won't even be a falling angel. Not even wanted by the devil. But you seek sanity but you're far from that level. You're disgusted by that reflection every morning. You're just so boring. How about you put down the pen, grab another bottle and live a sin. I want to fight to lose it all. Don't want you to find comfort I'll see you in the fall. I've noticed Autumn is your favorite season. But I'll darken it for that reason. I doubt you every second. But now you're losing it all over again. Your friends claim you as a ***. Its funny and I agree with that. You've never had a home, now you're drunk sobbing on the phone. Don't no one want you because you're a mutt. Caged on someone's floor because you're a man ****. You're no where near enough. Sure you've got a roof and some water but no treats. What a relief. Dear Nellie, enjoy yourself because you're absolutely nothing.
Sincerely you're only friend Doubt
I'm out

I'll always doubt. Nellie you're the who needs to chill out. You're so tough but weak. Even your financial problems build up that you can't eat. Thats tough but also satisfying to see you at defeat. I doubt you because you use to be so happy. Everything you never had built you a flame to burn in agony. Doubting you is for ***** and gigs. Here's some alcohol take a sip. Drunk call someone to lose your respect. I do this to you because you're the one who left. Remember crying to sleep, but it felt okay with a drink? I do, it's amazing watching you lose. The emotions I leave to watch you abuse. I infect your securities to watch your peace deteriorate. Love watching you break. I'm obsessed of staying aggressive. It's my personality because you'll fail and be defenseless. You think me doubting and a side of depression is bad..... wait til failure and sanity gets a chance. Just think I'm at the front of the line, to make you lose your mind. Just give it time. You're soul will be mine.
P.S
When will you doubt yourself?

As I stay on the shallow edges, I dove deeper to fail again. But that's not the worse part. It gets deeper and darker. I guess that's why the water waves at me. A wave to remind me I can still drown, but I've got to hold my breath. I take a drink for a relief. But I can't accomplish anything without diving deeper. People don't realize **** because I've noticed they're a heavier sleeper. Some even have the luxury of a boat with a life jacket. I'm doing this without safety precautions and I manage make it safe to the shore. Still scared but I fight to make myself stronger because I don't want to fight fear anymore. I can't drown myself, but others have anchored me down. Doomed and suffering but I've learned to swim so for a bit I'm safe and sound. I'll surf the waves in attempt to figure if it's waving hello or goodbye. I'll take that risk and give it a try. What's the worse that can happen? Rock bottom? Even the shores aren't safe.

I'm at defeat haven't been myself lately
I'm invisible to this dark world
Shadows got a grip onto my sould
In peace I'm have tempted to put it to rest
Aches and breaks through my chest
Don't tell I'm a be okay
Literally struggling with suicidal thoughts every moment of the day
I can't even give myself a break

"Delta 16, will you take out a 47? Front desk."
Said the dispatcher.
"10-4"
I Said
But everything seemed so off. I can't hear anyone once I get to the front desk. It's colder than normal. I started hearing my radio break out.
"Dispatch, radio check"
It's still statically
"Dispatch, radio check"
I repeated
in a creepy deep female voice
"Radio check good"
I had assumed that was just delta 12 but the radio was also being just weird. As I proceeded to the front desk I could swear I heard whispers behind the slots themes.
"They're here, get out!"
But then again I had been listening to horror stories and had been watching horror movies.
"Eagle dispatch, 47 front desk"
I had said
But there was no one at the front desk so I waited
"Clear from eagle on your 47 front desk"
Oh great, I'm clear But not clear. Do to no one here.
I heard a voice though...
"back in here hold on one second. I dropped the receipts."
Front desk clerk said
She seemed off to me...
"Delta 16, eta on your 47?"
Said dispatcher
"I'm at the front desk still waiting on the clerk, sorry dispatcher I had thought she was ready"
I start to hear whispers getting louder
"They're here! They're with us! Get out while you have a chance!"
Said the voices
Okay, I think I'm skitz, but I can't help that it dramatically got louder
BANG!!!
"Delta 16, are you okay!? What's going on there!!!!"
Eagle dispatch says
"Delta 16 down, code 4 deltas, I REPEAT CODE 4 DELTA DOWN, DELTA 16 DOWN"
Eagle says in a panic but yet professional voice.
It got cold, outside looks so dark and gloomy. Like rain will down poor but it's also kind of foggy. Only in Minnesota. I began to walk past the front desk because I thought she'd had gone in the back from some reason. But then a guard approached me.
"Sir, you can't be back here!"
A man had said
"Sir, I work here. What are you doing following me?"
I had said
He looks at my badge and I look at his uniform
We both in confusion look at each other
women screaming
I ran over right away towards where I thought I'd hear it.
"Welcome, to hell!"
Dark deep voice
"Dispatch 10-65, 10-24 behind the front desk door!"
I repeated
But no response
Not even a statically sound
But I keep hearing random voices again
"Nellie! Stay with us!!!"
I began to wonder what's going on
I keep feeling a sharp pain on my chest, anxiety level to the max
"Hey, we've got to get moving. Shooting in thus casino!!!"
Said the man
I get up to catch myself fighting masked men
"Get the ******* me!!!"
I screamed
I got beat and I noticed blood everywhere
But I'm only bleeding from my face
I looked up to see that bodies are everywhere and that man is now laughing while bleeding to death
I go to look outside to see the beautiful outdoors one last time before I fade away. I noticed a very tall man in a suit next to another emo looking man with a huge smile
I began to wonder what's happening I'm very very disturbed
But I start seeing a bunch of dark figures crawling from behind them. Then my chest really began to hurt but then my whole body felt a rush of air and a huge shock ran through my body.......
"Clear!!!"
"Hurry up, we're losing him again!!!! Nel, wake up!!!"
I've noticed I'm not okay, as I got a sharp pain towards my side.
I got sharp pain and shocks of waves running through my body!
I scream what's going on!!!!!
I lose sight immediately of the dark shadows and Grey and gloom room and I now see a room full of officers and paramedics and like my whole Delta team
"What the hell happened?"
I struggle to ask
"Nel, you've been shot and stabbed, try and not move or speak"
I knew I should of listen to the whispers. But I can now hear whispers telling me
"He's got you, no escape!"

I admit I'm a little depressed
Full of guilt the I yet can't process because I'm so **** stressed.
I know I'm a bit boring to read
But I'm here hoping to look back at this **** if I ever succeed
I can't explain how I feel
But this pain is something I can barely handle and deal.
I've let myself down
I've been ready to isolate in misery just to drown
The bright lights are scary
Hid myself in the dark does that make me crazy
I don't even know how to be myself because i no long know me
Has happened yet I've got to set a goal for this discovery
I'm always talking to myself
Wait a minute I'm hearing the clock tick tick
Am I dreaming again or is this realitys *******?
**** I'm so **** depressed
Missing the way I use to rule the world now I'm just overwhelmed and full of regrets
What's happening to me?
Is there a way out of this labyrinth?
Well **** it I'm in the mood to fight again
Hopefully to draw blood or break something
Either way that type of pain doesn't compare to the pain I'm feeling
I guess it's back to healing
All though I've got no insurance for this mess
Guess I'm a just isolate and stay depressed

Living in depression
Built up from constant destruction
But working my *** off for nothin
Always empty
Always lonely
**** this feeling
I miss the happy me

The love
the joy
the kiss
the neck
the pleasure.
the desire

Tell me that I matter to any if you, then make plans with me so I can be the only one to see them through. I've learned to fall in love with my depression because even through my happiest moments depression was the only one patient with me. Got to see the best and worst of me. Weather I was distracted with others or me being lonely. I can sit here all day and take life advice and listen to personal stories and watch others try to redirect me. But it is not going to matter because none of them commit to staying by my side. Maybe I am too weak, maybe I do need to put down a drink, or maybe I need to pick up another bottle of pills and let the SSRIs do the work for me. But I'm still fighting for myself. I'm still listening to everyone trying to conquer their depression over mine. I swear I'm not selfish! I've soon realized there is no cure, just some stitches and false treatment. Depression and I made that agreement. Smiling for real is my main achievement. But I've got a true broken smile that'll enlighten you. When will I find that one to enlighten me?
Ask yourself that before you decide you want to commit to staying with me.

I'm apparently never alone, but how come I face everything on my own. Go out by myself with some high hopes on my phone. I think I'm meant to be temporary, I can't even find my main accessory. Why does this world gotta be difficult?
Life's been rough, my angered urges are too tough. No one actually knows how I'm feeling, they see me drinking but they don't see me dealing. I'll smile and ask you're doing, I'll play it off I know that's kind of confusing. Now I'm struggling and feel like it's my own security I'm abusing. Difficult time to express in words, I'll learn because I'm still too "young"
But lately us young ones kind of have it the worse.

Dancing with the devil
Burning lyrics get on to my level
This is a one player game
Don't use my name in vain
Bet you played me and lost the game
I don't want anything in return
Lessons taught you going to learn
Played in the dark for fun
Look at me I'm flexing and not about to run
Bet you'll last a minute and cry to me claiming this isn't fun
Beats bumpin me
Shovel right next to me
I've got plenty of bleach
Now time for another speech
You don't wanna play
Gamover for you and that's on replay
What's happenin
I'm gonna pull up
Show you some hands
This is the real Nel
Devil put a restraining order on me I'm the new hell
Why play me
Why talk **** and not come close to me
I'm sick of these games to be honest
I clown around and bet you won't scrap up
Try it again
I'll split you open

Hey Nel you've done and ******* up **** now.
Just stay distant before you wreck another soul.
Just hide behind another drink that should be your new goal.
You've been a mess and now you're making **** awkward and uncomfortable.
Stay distant and maybe you'll be successful.
Work on your communication when you're under stress and pressure.
Might as well nod your head when you get the same lecture.
Don't nobody give a **** about your intentions.
You still ******* something up sorry but but that's something that had to be mentioned.
You're emotions are sporadically working a part as if they're scheduled to a job.
Man up and knock the axiety off.
You're fine especially when you're distant.
No one will really be there for you in a instant.
**** the past **** the now.
(Nels response)
Nah man I'm a admit...
I have done some bad ****.
But I'm not about to quit.
Just don't know how to comprehend it.
I'm a cry and let go for a bit.
You've broken my confidence and I'm exhausted.
At this point my tears are dry
But then I've managed to shred a few out of a eye
Heres to me being a mess
How come I'm so depressed.
Give me some distractions
But I'm a drink till theres no more actions
I'm low key alone
I'm a ghost especially on my phone

How is it that I relate to drunk people's side of a story?
Not understand someone with sobriety?
I guess you can call me a alcoholic
We're all distracted from feeling neurotic
You can call me out but sill fail to hurt me
I get roasted on the daily
You're going to have to do better than that
I've got a stronger back
You seem like the type who lost it all
The one to crumble and fall
With tear drops rolling and storming until dawn
I'm tired of this as I walk away with barely a yawn
Judge a book by the cover
Just like every other
It's no bother, I'll make it farther.

I love to be left on read.
I think I'd rather be left alone instead.
It's not like life is going anywhere in a hurry.
I'll drink till visions blurred, eat till I fall asleep, and laugh until I cry.
I am my own man, I'm my own consequences.
Until I approve of one other to take over my personal well being and authority..... I will remain happily independent.

I'm all caught up in the past.
This ***** real.
I'm a isolate because I don't know how to deal.
Ask me again how I feel?
Swear to **** I'll swallow up more then a handful of these pills.
My mistakes got me here.
I'm a see disgust and filth looking at myself in this mirror.
I'm a try one thing.
But at the same time I'm a **** it all up.
Don't know how to handle myself.
Use to wake up with her by my sode.
Use to call out and snuggle before work we just wanted to hide.
Step back my loved ones.
I don't want you to see me like this because I'm just about done.

Sometimes I just don't give a ****.
Half tempted to cut.
Forguve me to the people who care.
But to be honest I'm not fully there.
My head is just spinning.
Anxiety is winning.
Where do i go?
What should I do?
I'm devastated and I've got no clue.
So I was able to eat normal today.
Got anxious as **** but I swam over this wave.
I'm not about to go drowning
My heart aches and it's just pounding.
What to say?
I'm over it anyway.
I am Nel
I'm ready to fight against hell
Learning all by myself
Don't talk to me like you know me
Just let me be
One day I'll be fine
For now I'm not necessarily alright
Don't mean I'm a be a *****
Why you two facing me and why you being a snitch?
Not like I got **** to hide
Just wasn't ready to open up and yet surprise
Thank you past
You've always managed to throw knive at my back
I'm not about ready to react
I'm a walk up this dark street and rush the depression trying to fight me
Fights in ***** I'm not about to lose to you and anxiety

I don't dare to drown again
My arms stay open
I've failed before
Now I know better
I've gotten stronger
I'll go till i cant anymore

No one hates me more than me.
I'm not even in a dream.
Go ahead and resent me I'm not afraid of living in negatives. But you're the ones cold. I'll sleep in my vehicle below zero I ain't GIVE A ****. I'LL WARM IT UP!
Call me lazy, call me worthless. Either way you're the ones giving up on me. I know **** too much about being lonely. But people still **** with me.
Bury me in ****, either way I won't quit. This life is mine and I'm living it.

Why you always writing depressed ****
Why don't you quit
No one wants to listen to it
Why don't you take a hit
*
Let me tell you a little story
Mind your own business and don't worry
I'm going through ****
Talking and posting to poetry is my only outlet
I am a survivor
A strong fighter
Yeah I get the disappointment
I'm disappointed too
Had to go on a appointment
Feel like I won't mentally pull through
I'm fine though
I checked out ready to go
I'm paying karma back
Check please! I'm get back on track
(Eventually)
Don't push me
My motives aren't as bright as they use to be
Try watching the people you live disappear
Try watching your family separate further every year
Try doing **** alone
Better yet
Tell me about a ****** up addiction
If you ever had one
Whats the definition of perfection
******* critical geeks bet you don't know what its like to backout
Nor what it's like to **** near overdose
Or even ******* nearly die
Maybe support and not judge
I admit I'm guilty of holding a grudge
You know what it bothers me when people criticize me
Hurts lots but **** it karma wins with a check of reality
Don't push bet you candle the recoil
I learned the hard way how to be loyal
I'm also a better writer
Expectations higher
I've got a desire
I'm a hit up the fire
Burn all the ******* judgements

I fell down a few mistakes ago. Thought my wish was granted so I followed the shine because it had a powerful glow. Please don't say those words to me I'll just leave.Will give you space for your goals and for my chills to recover. My actions and thoughts has it's moments of torture. Once again with no apologies. Every time I stop to think, I'd pour me a glass to drink. Some shooting stars are not worth it. Took more of my trust, now my eyes begin to rust. I will learn to fly on my own. Walk by my side all along. Streets empty like my feeling. Weakest turns to my strongest, willing to sacrifice and hope it belongs. I've got enough thoughts and time with the ******* Mirror. Fist fly's through the wall, blood dripping so much I'm able to write on paper. ****** poetry from me. As long as my cheeks were dry from my eyes and maybe cry later. I Just Can't Take It!!! LIKE HELL I CAN'T KEEP **** TO MYSELF, LIKE HELL, I CAN'T FIGHT, LIKE HELL I WOULDN'T HAVE ANY INTELLIGENCE.  ***** I may have some problems but don't we all. I always saw my situations all the way through. **** THIS **** ALONG THE MEMORIES I'VE HAD!!! Bring me hell I'm sure I'll be back.I maybe out in the cold during the long nights. My heart pumps heat and I will be able to breathe. Unless you have lost there is no way you can bug me. My depression is just a scar. People must know I'm the man of my words. But Who the Hell are you to judge me for what I use to be or whom you see me as.