She hinted I took it toooo far, but I was just sipping beer and whiskey at my favorite bar. Might of pregamed too much, love and flirts is just far enough. I'm built tough, but my desires were more than enough. I played too much at a bar, I really hope I didn't take things too far.  A reset and restart. I'm a take safety courses for my and others heart. Pray and hope I don't break or go too far. Limits needed to be reached, but I was vibing and cruising past the recommended speed. I'm a learn how to take it easy, I should of known better. My sincere apologies I hope to make peace or at least make things better.

I know you want me clean, I'm sorry honey I'm only a human being
Baby I'm not sober, hard to climb over
It's a difficult achievement
What a painful experiment
I'm sorry, does my sorry matter
Am I causing feelings to shatter
Cupcake it's hard to pull through
Can't afford to lose
I do fine then I do fall behind
Sorry I'm starting all over
Then choose to not be sober
Baby I'm so sorry to cause some pain
I'm going insane, lost track with my brain
I don't mean to complain, it's faith I'm trying to gain. But these eyes storm and rain
A few drinks is all I know, I don't blame you if you want to go
My darling, my "baby girl"
You'll always have my world

Been called a lying cheat, happiness decided to play hide and seek, I dont want to eat nor sleep I just want a cold drink sit alone with music to help me think. Left dark messages subliminally. All I see, is agony down beneath. Hiding in a corner sobbing. Headache heartache, want to break already to late where's my peace for ***** sake. I'm raising my glass to the stars, ******* at life counting these cars. Realizing theres no home, snaps hitting my phone. I think I need to be more alone.
I'm just under so much stress, to lazy to get dressed, I'm depressed. Want to put anxiety at rest, what's next? Oh wait my ex sent me a text. Great beautiful pain, ugly truth. Don't matter anymore, I'm a drink a little more. I've got knives in my back, patching the heart and releasing the veins. Am I going insane? Whatever I ain't wanna eat sleep just want a drink. I'm a let my thoughts sink because I'm to empty to think

I can handle the gossip, I can take some insults. I can even be the bad guy in some of these stories. I'm in no rush or a hurry. Just don't abuse my time and be fake. These stars die, but atleast there's some light. Even the darker ones get a glance of a dim direction. It's a great day to catch my friendship pending. Snaps that's been sending. But I'm not worried, kind of curious to see who's next, or who'll use me when they send me a text. Left on read, that's fine. I do the same sometimes, but don't be rude and expect my time. I've got a horrible record of having poor conversation skills. But atleast my loyalty is real. I find myself bored as well with blank forehead selfies, but atleast the streaks are increasing your score though. I'm open to talk, well more than likely to play the question game. Atleast I'm curious and attempt to know more then your name. I know some of my questions are clingy, cheesy, and raw. But atleast I'm trying and giving it a shot.

Little do I know
I've got to stay clean and let go
Past catches up
I'm just lock it up
Everyday is a battle
This is the last time I drink 3/4 of a bottle. Like my issues they poor down my throat. Time to swallow them because I'm scaring and hurting everybody. I don't work well with anyone because i get so ******* anxious. Tbis ain't good and mentally dangerous. But i rush home to my room and lay the **** down. Distracting my self with a song. By now i should all the words. too bad Nickelback I've got one objective. Stay faithful and stay clean. Don't mean to to hurt y'all. My thoughts of myself aren't good, god forbid I'm clean. Wait what do I need? I'm literally applying for a second job to get caught up and to stay busy. **** the world for ****** up my reality. **** anxiety all I do is listen to loud music and write about the ****** up issues. Not eating and struggling with sleeping. Not taking care of my body but I'm down to keep moving. Seems like I'm losing. Another song that is on my mind is kind of depressing. when your gone by Avirl Lavigne I'm caught up on the same thing. This is me ready to stay clean. I'm a mess, every persons regret. I'm a bottle it back up and jam it in the freezer. Because if i open again **** will get cold and cuts my go deeper.

I've ways dealt with things alone. Never was anything new only new things was the "false hope"
I've always had a lot of anger. Defense mechanism because I was afraid to be in danger. Therapy sessions with pen and paper. Always in a room writing and crying. Notes look like its just me and you. Mirrors laughing at me because the reflection was not so great. I lost my one true love and now I'm done woth the tears because everytime i picture her smiling i break. I've got hope, I've got these dreams. Let me tell you one thing. I am loyal, I am the right man. She deserves to be mine. But wouldn't be fair because thats not what she wants. Time to sit in the park and hope she sneaks up on me for a kiss. Walk this lonely road down the block because its her i miss. Knocking on the door while shes freaking out. Barefoot and rain pooring down. I'm here baby I'll always walk through hell for you. Road trip is our adventure and now you see me in the review mirror for your adventure. Man why don't the past let go of me. I'm moving and why does it have to summon me. Everywhere i go especially when i try to sleep then find myself ready to bleed because i cant eat nor wanna speak about ready to lay low beneath because i wanna ******* breathe but thats to easy. **** me for finally being happy to just lay down in agaony. Why me? Why does it have to be me alone? Just why?

They say moving on maybe the best. But i got this fear in my chest. I'd rather be broken apart then to be strangers, because that would me bye forever. We walked this panet, now I'm running up to catch it. The keys are still tucked in your pocket. My bearts your just come home and lock it.
Where is my darling, I lost my one and only hero. Couldn't even share one last night together watching tv and dosing off in each others arms. I'm screaming like a puppy waiting around for you to come revive me. Drunk off the flames and hearing my thoughts taunt me. Where do I swim from here because I'm a drown alone, wish I can call whenever but she ain't gonna wanna answer the phone. I don't even get to here her voice on the voicemail. Just myuck huh.
Miss the snuggles miss the food and miss all the times we spent. I didn't care about anything because I was happy. You know. Knowing a lot of people don't matter because I'm still lonely. Not a **** cure will even help. But look at me, I hate myself.

Babe take me back, been missing us and i think we should get back on track. We can eventually help each other through it. Harder on ourselves but i swear we can prove it. By the time I woke up I noticed you weren't next to me. Truly yours and meant to be. Tell me how you still feel. Am I wrong about believing because my loves real. In tears think of me replaced. I wanna come home to your beautiful face. I am sorry, i am loyal, babe I can prove my worth. I can give you everything i have to offer. Please consider me back. In love with you no joke nor a act. Darling xoxoxo a kiss, it's you I miss. I've got a wish. Please be mine

A cold one to drink as I day dream. Poetry to read and stream. I've got a decent streak. But I've got plenty to think. Feel like I've got the world wrapped around my fingers so I give it a clap. Earthquake with words I can live with that.  

I love to feel anxious because it demands my respect. Can't live with a regret. But I learn quickly with a reality check. Always  did shut solo. But my predictions ways illuminates my personality so I glow. But I'm happier with anxiety because I lived it.

Ever take a step back to enjoy the autumn views? A smile has me too. But it's something I don't lose. Always wanting a London fog to sip. Warmth down my body but I don't lose it. Never had the fog, but it fits the picture and I frame it in the back of my mind.

I love loud music in my car. I jam and play air guitar. I don't drive very far. But I drive slow to enjoy the last part. Cross my heart! Music therapy helps me. Especially with that struggle I deal with mentally. Smooth ride to cruise. I've got nothing to lose.

My favorite heroes are between DC and Mavel. But I'm my own and it's a miracle. Spider man or the flash. I still "stick" the sense pretty fast. Krypton has me wishing, but this beer is all I'm kissing. Here the news? Parker took a picture of superman while iron plans his move. I enjoy a conflict that has me confused.

Every struggle gets to personal,  a endless cycle. Broken up, hung up. Hanging by a strand. I've got you take my hand. I see the struggle lost in your eyes. I can hear your screams from that smile. Wish it wouldn't consume you from inside. I can tell it's been awhile.
                          "Help me"
Darling I know it hurts, I know it kills you. Baby you'll be okay. I'm always make sure you're safe. We'll figure it out to overcome the wave. One day we'll do great. You're so sweet, so kind, and someone to adore. Bad luck will leave so you don't take anymore. I live you, I need you. I'm a fight everything to revive you my darling. I want to help you, but you'll have to fight too. <3