No one can escape the past.
Regret happens to fast.
When was I appreciated and was I a priority or am I last?
**** that I need her back.
Been through hell together just say the magic words and we'll get back on track.
Maybe I was a bit harsh with my doubts.
But it's you I can not live without.
Give it a fresh start.
I can prove I'm of worthy.
I'm your love not an enemy.
No one can escape the past.
But I promise you nothing like it will happen because past taught me how to improve.
Am I your regret or am your regretting past? How about you choose.

No love so I chose to drink. I'm atleast getting wasted with plenty of time to think. Steep choices hit me fast. Cigarette ashes fly in the air. I'm having drinks and I don't care.
"Nel why the **** do you write so much?!"
I write **** down because sometimes life's to tough.
I'm here, slamming some beer. Homies by me about to be a decent year. We all have cheers.
I've got 4 by 4s and I a bury social anxiety six foot deep. 6 foot away or 6 below our feet. Not even a disk because yall so cheap.

I am not doing the picking sides game. I've got friends among friends. The battle is between y'all and not me. I'm a just keep my head down beneath. I'm a stay away but be in between. I don't have friends that stay for very long. But I have ones that may be a part if my lufe forever. I'm hoping to do better. If you a true friend you wouldn't beg me to pick sides. I don't wanna be a part of your war

Look up to the sky there's notes up now. All these silenced voices will play them out loud. Unless your vocals call you, the notes sing out. Let your mind clear so you can feel the beat. Each song has heart that will continue to beat.

When I play my instrument I'd always close my eyes, Then reopen to look up to the sign from the sky's. I've already forgotten the world because I went to mine. No more darkness because it's time for these notes to shine. All these notes are like stars, the'll repeat their gaze. Been playing it on repeat each night. Music wasn't the nightmare. It was a dream that became true.

Look up to the sky there's notes up now. All these silenced voices will play them out loud. Unless your vocals call you, the notes sing out. Let your mind clear so you can feel the beat.

Each song has heart that will continue to beat. Each star has their own performance. A moment of peace. I want the lights to dim, I'm back to day dreaming. I'll pick up the instrument to shut off the light. Guide the week away from the dark for life of love and peace so grab me a mic. All notes are like stars, The'll repeat their gaze to face the shadows.

What is your story? Mines been band all the way. Do you prefer choir or do you do both. Don't matter you have your own performance and don't be late. The sky is ready to hear your notes. Here's a tip, don't resist or tense. close your eyes and follow up with something that you'd like to pretend. I like to think of my love slow dancing with me. closing my eyes every few measures helps me get away. I'm a let these stars play music for me with the wind and tree leaves singing to me. Let the grass be it's own melody along with this river.

She struggles with her thoughts. She holds every word he's said. Been struggling with the thoughts in her head. He's a liar, a cheater, and a beater. She loves the idea of the love she thought she deserved. But she's the one really hurt. They can never work. How do you tell her to let go when she regains the strength to keep a grip. But she shuts down in agony with his *******. He doesn't deserve your tears nor will he ever re-earn your trust. There is no love because it's a bust.  You can't stay under his spell forever. You deserve better. The worse part of all of this..... you still claim there was no other love like this! **** his loyalty because it was fake just like his ***** boy personality. With all the words you promised yourself. you're catching yourself into the bad habits. You lied awake, you're suffering from a heart break.

I was never really doing okay,
But i promise I'll make it today.
Wasn't ready for the break up,
Life loves to **** me up and make it all tough.
I'm laying there wishing I was just happy
I was happy when she agreed to be with me
Was happy when i wasn't blocked
Was happy when she said she could be with me
But she ain't happy
She's inscure to be with me
She wants to improve for me
But what for? I forgive and I'm ready
I'm always paranoid now
Don't know if I'll be able to be her priority or if I'll be worthy of her time
Will I ever be hers again?
It's driving me crazy not knowing
Why does it have to be the same? As in why do we gotta love the way we used to
Our feeling aren't goimg away
Why not love more?
But of course it's just easier to ignore
But why put ourselves through that?

Okay. That's the last thing I want to see
I've always responded quickly
Now you don't want to answer me?
Bet
That's fine that's "okay."
I'll kindly ******* now
Listen to music loud
Been jamming music since I was a baby
Now I'll sip a bottle till its comforting
I'll just keep my lips sealed
My journal is my only shield

I run my own world ***** off everybody
No need for the toxicity because this song speaks to me softly. When is the right time? I'm a turn the lights off to **** that shine. Stars die too, I'm not about to lose. Life goes dim before it dies. I get ghosted and get filled with lies. That's okay I stay busy. Subliminal hints directed towards me. I'm a work some overtime to bring back my shine. Sporadically between feels and jobs I may need a break. Not about to be letting this heartache. I'm perfectly fine because I'm a learn. My tears changed into sweat. Bout to ear my success. This won't be a regret. It's like flirting with reality and I'm play karma roulette.

A guilty pleasure, a beautiful sin. A pick of poison.
Moment of weakness
A moment of celebration
Call it old fashion, but I like a smooth chill drink.

One day I hope to understand your appreciation, mostly because I appreciate you. You understood and helped me pull through. Been there for me more than my friends. Helped me when I was at a dead end. One day I wish to see what you saw in me. If I can give you a world, would mine work? Because I want the people I love in my world. Appreciation from you took the weight off my chest, I do wish you the best. I'll always be your family and your best friend.

Trying to out run the clock but all I'm catching is time. A reach for a moment just to hold it. But I forget how to take a second to breathe. I need a break from me. For the sake of my family, I just need to figure it out. A shot of inspiration is all I need. Minus the liquor, my mental just got sicker. I best learn how to swim before I drown.

I hate what has came, She don't look at me the same. I lost enough now losing her. I feel the cold chilling in my skin. I am so tired but tears are pouring and thinking about my veins to open. I never cut before but now it's so tempting. I've punched mirrors and walls and broken my knuckles isn't that something? I fall into the world and look upon the stars not ready to go to work. Now that the guts told me so I may have to let the replacement smirk. I hate that its a break, i hate that shed think about it this way. now that i lost my body has to shake, I left work early to avoid losing it but what was the difference now its more then a bad day. I panic and wont stop. Chest pain because the love of my life left like that now I may just walk. I am hurt and broken, Now i may have this wrist open.