Dozen messages, handful of false hope. Sometimes you just have to let go. Walk along the dark road. In my lonesome. I use to be handsome. I use to matter. This heart is going to shatter. But why does it matter. I'm left on read. New man, new style, new choice of words. I just feel my insides dead. What happened to me?

Funny how that was my main
That cute name
You're close to opening my vein
Oh **** I'm ******
Congrats you're no longer stuck
I was almost on top of the world
But you just killed me girl
"Studmuffin"
#studnothin
I'm not ever going to allow anyone to get close to my friends!

Always busy, I keep busy. Don't need another mystery. Half broke in my pockets, will always make the best of what I have. Don't need love, don't need any help.  I'm better off by myself. I'm a work overtime, I'm a make this work worth my time. Checks half way gone but oh well, I'm ready to start a new journey as well. Two different worlds, plenty of singalongs girls.
Always got knives in my back and I've got trust hanging in the air. I'll always be ready to let this take me anywhere. Not going to search, I'm sit here and work. If someone is interested maybe give it a try. I've got nothing to hide.

I'm a sit back, try and relax. Find some company, or find something comforting. Sick of the trauma, don't need more drama. Wish I had a way out but I refuse to call my old man or mama. I'm in need, avoid the razor to bleed. Stay away is something to achieve, I'm a believe.
Don't touch me anxiety, keep your distance depression. I avoid being angry, but I'm down for a crying session.
I've got family, I've got friends,  I've got a roof over my head. I'm not stuck nor stranded.
But these thoughts fight me, I've felt a little empty. The cycles not going to end. I'm a be alive again.
Now I don't care how you approach me, but please understand I'm no therapist but my advice is real as my company. Forget all about what's on your mind and walk forward. Looking back will make you fall and past will pile on. Move along, get up and dust off till most feels are gone.
Lay down your shovel, climb up and fall. Climb again fall again do something other then to dig and bawl.

I've got my hope hanging by a strand, anyone truly understand? If you do, you better take my hand. I'm letting my emotions being *******, I better hang. All this relates I'm going insane. My hope is like thin ice. Each step something has to crack, whatever happens I'll be sure to collect knives in my back. Hope hanging by the strand, I need a hand. My hope is hanging byba string, but that's technically a strand. As the hope I once had, the rope was once tide tight. The love took me up, the hate dragged me back down like and anchor. I need some paper, some help me oh wait you need a favor. The hell out here, we all need to stick together no fear

Love is an addiction, a bad confliction. Overdose on the toxic ahit. Love is hard to quit.
Wasn't ready for a mental war, especially when you miss things more. Sleeping meds didn't work, benzodiazepines ain't my worth. I just wanted it all to work.
I've giving everyone I possibly can, what the other doesn't understand, is that my change was a new level of commitment. A new free spirit. Bow look at me hanging myself because I've got hung up. What's love? Either way I wasn't enough
Giving it all my best, not doing anything more I regret.
I'm a love addict, always was ready to commit. The past caught up, I've let that mess **** up. Now I'm a new many on the search for love.
Ever since a bad break up I've got neurotic, **** near became a alcoholic
I'm a recover, I'm a rebuild, just for my future love heres a little note.
Please don't break me, if you do will you help me put myself back together. I don't want to live with agony, I'm a be better than ever. I won't take anything for granted, nor allow any one to have it.
Keys to my heart you can have it, just locket, keep it in your pocket, bullet proof but not with a rocket, vibe with me so we can rock it, allow peace with nothing to hit.

Been called a lying cheat, happiness decided to play hide and seek, I dont want to eat nor sleep I just want a cold drink sit alone with music to help me think. Left dark messages subliminally. All I see, is agony down beneath. Hiding in a corner sobbing. Headache heartache, want to break already to late where's my peace for ***** sake. I'm raising my glass to the stars, ******* at life counting these cars. Realizing theres no home, snaps hitting my phone. I think I need to be more alone.
I'm just under so much stress, to lazy to get dressed, I'm depressed. Want to put anxiety at rest, what's next? Oh wait my ex sent me a text. Great beautiful pain, ugly truth. Don't matter anymore, I'm a drink a little more. I've got knives in my back, patching the heart and releasing the veins. Am I going insane? Whatever I ain't wanna eat sleep just want a drink. I'm a let my thoughts sink because I'm to empty to think

I know you want me clean, I'm sorry honey I'm only a human being
Baby I'm not sober, hard to climb over
It's a difficult achievement
What a painful experiment
I'm sorry, does my sorry matter
Am I causing feelings to shatter
Cupcake it's hard to pull through
Can't afford to lose
I do fine then I do fall behind
Sorry I'm starting all over
Then choose to not be sober
Baby I'm so sorry to cause some pain
I'm going insane, lost track with my brain
I don't mean to complain, it's faith I'm trying to gain. But these eyes storm and rain
A few drinks is all I know, I don't blame you if you want to go
My darling, my "baby girl"
You'll always have my world

Okay. That's the last thing I want to see
I've always responded quickly
Now you don't want to answer me?
Bet
That's fine that's "okay."
I'll kindly ******* now
Listen to music loud
Been jamming music since I was a baby
Now I'll sip a bottle till its comforting
I'll just keep my lips sealed
My journal is my only shield

I'm working on life as best as I can, always that helping hand. Made huge mistakes that can ruin my job, tried to brush it off. I live life anxious and that's how it'll be. Feels like there isn't much humanity. Everyone's so unique in their own way. I write positive vibes everyday. I'm a phenomenal poet, yes I know it. It's a escape, I know who's fake. Don't mean to watch others break. I'll always pick up the phone even if it's late. Just spam the call, hope you know I'm not about to allow an individual fall. I can't say I'll always be there to catch, but I'll pick them up and help them with a regret. That's it that's all me. Now tell me what's the next achievement to be happy.

Every struggle gets to personal,  a endless cycle. Broken up, hung up. Hanging by a strand. I've got you take my hand. I see the struggle lost in your eyes. I can hear your screams from that smile. Wish it wouldn't consume you from inside. I can tell it's been awhile.
                          "Help me"
Darling I know it hurts, I know it kills you. Baby you'll be okay. I'm always make sure you're safe. We'll figure it out to overcome the wave. One day we'll do great. You're so sweet, so kind, and someone to adore. Bad luck will leave so you don't take anymore. I live you, I need you. I'm a fight everything to revive you my darling. I want to help you, but you'll have to fight too. <3

I'm a gaze upon the moon light. Lay in silence till dawn. Let the natural peace fill my thoughts. In curiosity, I am thinking of romance. The bittersweet of nature's demands. Need a loving hand to bring the comfort. The relationship between the moon and the sun is more committed then the weather. This brings comfort I'm feeling better. Stars dying, clouds surrounding. It's cold, but I can slowly feel the heat.

I'm not a alcoholic when I'm in control, I swear I'm not even vulnerable. Why reconize my flaws? Anyone see my success at all? I admit taking time off was kind of a bad reputation. But I'm not going to bail out of the situation. Recognizing flaws a achievement everyone has. I'm a just stay focused and work on me, not leaving messages subliminally. Just a little mental war, but I'm fine. I've got work, I've got a roof. About to show off my worth. I'll work, I'll also be a call away. I'm always down to make someones day. That's just how I am, y'all say things you don't understand. Reconizing flaws... thank you for noticing that. Here's my stop, I'm a work that overtime and show you the mountain top. Isn't the view great?