**** never works, I've been choked up I forgot how to use my words. I swear I've been bad luck since birth, probably will continue til I'm under the dirt. But I swear I've got some worth! I don't compare or compete my trauma from his or hers from better or worse. This isn't a race nor a challenge. I swear to God I'd help one in need. But for **** sakes I forgot how to feel complete. Just ******* lonely in all honesty. Last thing that never happened was some false hope, now I'm alone. Fat and broke. Just enough to get by, the last one I liked asked for every cent. But my attention had to be spent. I said no more and blocked the witch, I'm no one's ATM nor anyone's *****. If I'm being honest I'd rather have be alone, beats having a fake. It's just a shame there is so much potential, I just want to rise with someone and feel special. Maybe even.... one day be successful.

I'm a man, I'm a good man.
This is what I don't understand....
I'm not the best, but I'll be the best you'll ever have. I'll always kiss the scars on your back. But this is what I don't get...
I'm a man not a bank. I'm trying to date. But lately I feel like your ATM, why must I pay for a smile or a compliment. But get degraded and unhuman when I say no. **** man, why must I become the ghost. Rest in peace the dating life. It's not like I can help every broke girl. I am just trying to be that man but not that loan. Might as well stay alone. Because now my motivations in the negatives.

If love was easy to fall for the world would be broken. It takes true strength to love, to repair, both souls and hearts. I'm always going to love everything about you, every inch of you, even every opinion you've got. Through the best and worse of times you and I face....... you'll always have a safer place in my open arms.

He seeks a vibe, but after a bottle he kills the night. Loses respect, but more of a loss on his soul. He'll fight his flaws after he sobers up. He's destroying boundaries and he's ready to clean up. Drinking too much, a overflowing cup. Grandma I'm sorry I turned out this way. I'm do better, I'm lay low for a while. I'm a fight my drink, I don't need a glass to ponder or over think. Things will be okay. But how do I live? How do I cope? Most importantly how do I stop? I'm scared, but this needs to be done. His sobriety needs to happen. His mental health needs to let him free. Sorry for the ones I hurt, I need to fight my own battle before this bottle tosses me in dirt. Time for me to go to work. Grandma I'm sorry, I'm just lonely.