Today I am tired of the day. I'm exhausted and I wish I wasn't awake. Another dark and gloomy wave. My hand on a cigarette, inhaling my thoughts away. I want the day to be silent, not overwhelming. I just lay here, it's funny......I am supposed to be on this bed to rest. But I'm not even close to resting. In fact I'm restless. Maybe tomorrow something will brighten my day. Maybe tomorrow I'll clean up my space, in this place, and then just Maybe find a dream to chase. Maybe tomorrow I won't drown in doubt and have another severe anxiety attack. Maybe tomorrow will not be as depressing as I am today.

Someone found me, I can't wait to be of company. Without a conversation I'm already feeling a bit lonely. Finders keepers, she didn't need to say that. But her heart did. The way she looks at me brought me to safety. I think I'm no longer the hide and seek champion. But hopefully wish to express how happy I've been found.

With the amount of regret
The amount of guilt
The amount of impulse
All the lies, truth, cries, screams, fails, success, depression, anger, silence, violence, hell even LOVE!
Took a lot of battles and I'd given innocence trauma scars.... just to learn how to be more gentle. I've learned to appreciate more, but my walls will be twice as strong. I'm pretty good and understanding the misunderstood. But it's a shame that I misunderstood the ones who've **** near killed my kindness.

Darling you're not okay, you avoid me all day. You're trying your best, but you avoid rest. Now your veins are filled with regret. Babe you just need help being sober. Life isn't over. If I can survive so can you. I'll help you through. We only got ourselves to lose. The real ones stay, their words not mine but it's part of dark and gray. I'll be there for you everyday. Help you avoid another wave. Like a hand saying goodbye I'll be the first to greet you. That's just what I'd do. You've got a lot to lose. Your life matters and it also matters to me. You're not losing me, thats not whats meant to be. Darling I'll stay with you through your fix, I'll fight til you're sober. Your life isn't over. I cross my heart and hope to die. But this reality and pain don't lie. We fight to survive! But babe you'll be alright. I'll be here for you life and the afterlife.  Darling it won't be alright, but you'll do just fine. Pain demands to be felt. But for you I'll be your stitches, I'll fight off the temptations to be dead in ditches. Just like the world turning in you, I'll rotate nothing more than love. Hey love, you're more than enough.