Why do I have to lose my eye sight?
I've got tears drowning my sunlight.
Maybe I should just ignore me, myself, and I.
P.T.S.D & S.A.D ******* with me and my personality.
Trauma on repeat every time someone criticized me.
You've argued and assumed I'm a narcissistic sociopath.
Used my weakness as your strength and made me believe I'm a hypochondriac.
Just let me lay in bed silently. I've got enough mental struggles hitting me violently.
The sky is just as cold and dark as the bottles laying next to me.
Depression winning scars on my body, I'm just so lonely.

Take a picture,
My memory of the dual moment won't last forever.
That smile didn't last any longer,
Now that memory gave me a sharp pain.

You say my name in vain, so my razor exposed my vein. Let's see if your opinions cut deep. Let's see if I find the motive to eat. If depression was a mission... that's a mission complete. All a battle between anxiety and me. We're about to see who's allowed to breathe. Build a fire to fight the cold. But I've already burnt that bridge a long time ago.

Reality stronger than my dose,
I wanted to take something just as close.
One good handful is all I need. Leave the bottle alone with me. Eyes bloodshot, all the drinks and pills I've got. My securities drowning, no life jacket so now I'm hollow and floating. The amount I've consumed for my world to move slow, is it possible to really overdose?
SSRI's  talked to me softly, I'm yelling at myself to walk slowly. Heart begging violently. Oh you're triggered? Pill that trigger and bust out a shot. Cheers ***** that's a pillshot.

A new day
A new age
Some great friends
Family with a birthday cake
Make a wish, blow out your candles
Take a slice
A new day, a new age
Birthday wishes, family with friends handing over gifts
Happy happy birthday
Merry birthmas
Happy existence

A love lingers the air around me
Is that reason why I hyperventilate?
I've felt like I am the only one lost, kind of tough to be found.
I drink to sleep, a sip to fight anxiety.
I'm fine when I'm not, time and priorities is lost.
I simply tell everyone I "forgot"
I honestly forget to breathe, that depression consumed me.
In all honesty nothing is really working.
Just me alone in my thoughts and it gets tougher every time I think of the smile.
The screams get louder, I get quieter.
I'm just laying down in silence. Tears form a storm dripping onto my pillow with violence.
I began to Hyperventilate.