All these doubts are making me lose motivation. Especially when I feel good about a situation. Never a dull moment but always a sharp pain. With a thought of comfort I put myself in vain. But on the bottom of a mountain I still see beautiful views. With not a moment to lose. Not trying to get myself confused. Doubts gave me a hand, depression gave it a round of applause. Anger filled my world with chaos.
I've chased dreams before. But a catcher caught it, so I bought it and tried to catches more. Now the dreams catch me.

I'm far so greatful for picking up a pen
In the end I've always been able to learn how to win
A struggle hits and that's where the writing began
I'm my own fan
Ever struggled so much someone's else struggle was a walk in the park
So you went out and stitched up their heart?
That happens way too much for me
But a pen really saved me
I've always felt alright
Always eager to write
Found a true best friend
Love always my good pen

I get mad
I get impatient
But I will not lose my cool
I'll do whatever it is I need to do
Please give me space
To get myself back in place
Just a moment and I'll be okay

Waking up for my first job and still half woke. Survived first shift to barely make it to the second shift, all that work to still be broke. A handful of bills in my wallet. But these dead presidents keep my credit score haunted. I remember when things were fairly easy. Never mind no I don't, I've been working full time since high-school. Never was once was able to see my own IQ. The difference between dayshift and late shift is that I'm able to nap to prepare for the cycle again. Chasing dreams from head but it's going to cost overtime to make that happen. I've got to stay on my feet, work late for 3 extra hours to enjoy my lunch breaks just to eat. I've got no where special to be, I'm just trying to succeed. Hardly ever want any company. By my lonesome is comforting. A day to myself is more than a treat. But that's I day I hope to see. By then that'll be plenty!

I wake up still half woke. First jobs to serve orders through drive through, I'm still broke. Second jobs to be sure customers following the rules while I do the escorts but still not enough to escort me financially. A long day and I get to nap finally. Day two I'm sore but I'm cooperating and responsive. I get through it good & still not verbally aggressive. A deprived wallet, I can't even do this for the rest of my life I think my egos haunted. I've got some thinking to do, I'm not going to lie I just don't want to see this through. I've got too many priorities to care about everyone's comfort. But admire the people so I low key put in the effort. Doubts filling my credit score, I'm hoping to barely make more. But I collect more debt with myself. I'm destroying my mental health. I admire the people, so don't be claiming my personalities at my own funeral. I'm still half woke, my two jobs still cause me to be broke. But I still go the extra mile down the road. All I'm doing is playing catch up, but it's still low key not enough. A labor full of tough love.

I maybe tired
I maybe exhausted
But I will not fail myself again
I can change but I will not stop working on myself
I am my own priority

There is so much power with my paper and pen.
Lately I can't express anything verbally again
But I can write upon a struggle
Once upon a success but failure to my stress
Hand over my crossed heart from the devil
A fallen spawn but feels like a darker level
I've fallen to walking with a crutch
Now I'm trusting a little too much
But I'm vigilant as ****
It just doesn't feel like enough
Ever just want to avoid just to get a break?
A pen to express these feelings on a piece of paper
I rant or a therapy session ready to read later
A document to fall back on
Aesson to learn upon
It is now a favor
Saved by my pen and paper