You think I'm cute and hot
But I'm really not
I admire everything about you
From the sideline I have the best view
Amazing personality
The best body
From the sidelines I am viewing a true hottie
I don't just feel the heat :)
The beauty knocked me out of my feet
Darling you're a natural beautiful girl
From the sideline you light up the field and the world

Stop drinking
You're overthinking
Just because you remember doesn't change the fact that you weren't sober
Stop! Or atleast tone it way down before all your friendships are over
Told the drunk me to go to sleep
But someone opened the emotional cage and I'm in tooo deep
Cousin was crying and sobbing
I'm there supporting him with alcohol on my shirt
He said he's badly hurt
Then I calmed him down
Then emotions hit me
I drank tooo much
Drunk me seeking attention
Now I'm going tooo far put me in detention
At some point I'm a just hide my phone
In silent mode
Maybe the next day I will learn better
I'm a write my grandma a letter
I hope I didn't offend anyone
I know now I should of just slept early and should of been done

Upon this journal I write
About to fill these pages to find some light
Dark ink beautifully written with pages going to the right
On top of that I mentally fight
Maybe one day it'll be filled with some delight
Recycled ideas in sight
I continue to write
Even if it's wrong it'll still be right

I ain't ever write a story before
I've always been the one they ignored
Never remember why I wasn't happy anymore
Everything is just tough and feels like a chore
No one to see or adore
I catch myself drinking till I pass out on the floor
A liar, a cheat, and a man *****
Common names for me now my feeling sore
But my judgment will always be poor

Lately I've been concerned about your health
Always wished you the best and hope you stay well
Fallen tears dry down your cold skin
But hopefully I can hug you again
Your pictures pressed against my chest
Where your head use to rest
You only deserve the best
I want you to leave safely and go
Somewhere safe so your smile continues to glow
Lately I've been losing service on my phone
Where I work I'll be lucky to send a message I just wish you were home
These thoughts break me
Not even as cold as this cracked smile thats blank or empty
Darling you need to leave him
Start over again
The best of life starts from scratch

Don't tell me I'm everything some can ask for because I'm not
I'm patient but also confidence is lost
I wouldn't know where I put it because I forgot
Last names supposed to be for my one and only
But everywhere I go I'm still lonely
I'm not even interesting but all it takes is for someone to hold me
I grabbed my securities by the throat
Threatening to **** it up because I need them the most
But managed to find hope
But alone I still am, so I'll just go
I make a bed for two with covers open on the other side of me
But I sleep alone in agony
Atleast these tears fall for me

You can't just tell me someone is into me
My goal is to make everyone happy
Lost at words
On the search for my worth
But it cost time
Guess what? nothings mine!
I'm broke I might of lost track
So I follow foot prints to lead me back
But now I'm lonely sipping something strong to ignore the hunger and to hopefully sleep
Good thing I'm drunk now because I didn't eat