Go ahead and play me
This game is a ****** ending
I'm out here pretending
I not doing well
Haven't been in a while
Me begging and pleading for help ain't my style
I've got music
I've got smokes and beer for this crying session
Here comes a confession
I'm not okay
I struggle everyday
This is a ****** game i play
I always put others forst
I try to make **** work
My family is in a middle of a hate love relationship
Wanna hold on but I'm losing grip
Eyes dripping
Body shaking
Thoughts shrinking
Alcohol successful
Drowning and now impulse is unstoppable
Welcome back Nel,
You need to stop leaving
It's not like resecpt is something you're receiving
You know what to do go into the bathroom to start bleeding

I have been hurt really bad, especially recently. No one has room or time to really give a ****. But that's okay, I've struggled lonesome through out my whole life. I've laughed, I've cried. The ones I thought I'd never see leave is now gone. I grew up independent but yet still gullible. A bad heart break and I kind of feel really vulnerable. I've never in myself life have met anyone that has stayed with me to pull myself through. As soon as the tough got harder, my senses of determination to get better just decided to fail do to no help. I am probably the most independent person now. I owe my life to myself so it's time to throw the **** in the back and continue walking.
I just wish I could trust again, I don't even trust my ******* friends.

If i grow up I'm a not let go of these bills
Get a new vibe and enjoy cheap thrills
Don't want to be criticized
Raise a drink to the night sky
Shine with some stars tonight
Hoping to do good and be alright
I swear the voices hold me back
But **** that I'm a do better
Write depression a darker letter
Maybe attempt to be less antisocial
Hang with stranger and give it my all and make sure I'm not local
Is it strange to open up to a stranger
I mean I'm not in danger
I love hearing life stories
Its like watching a movie in your head
I'm ready to enjoy new journies and would live to get out of debt

Bet
Let's get a new motive
Start up a party
Grab the ***** and lose yourself
Drop your phone
No one goes home
We ain't alone
We're just trying to enjoy it
Mess around getting buzzed quick
Maybe talking ****
For ***** and gigs
Smoke and share packs of cigs
**** it lets get this dub

When through everything alone
People I love don't respond on the phone
Everyone betrayed me
I'm as well fairly guilty
But we all should stick together
Let go of some **** and help each other get better
Paranoia, anxiety, depression, guilt,anger,lies list can go on
Wish I was gone
Life overdosed me with overwhelming sadness
Glanced at the view and mentally screaming in madness
I'm looking at myself full of hate
Don't want anyone to Resuscitate
But that's okay if I go it maybe fate
My heart still is broken
Tears storming my cheeks bout to bust skin open
Wish I had support
Wish I had a break
Wish i wasn't drowning in my thoughts
Forget what I said wish i had everyone I loved back
But i can see they ditched me in a dark path
I'm cold and hungry
Living in my truck because I'm to lonely
And nobody gives a ****
I get it, it's karma I understand

I'm so cold it hurts to cry.
So overwhelmed because this journey is a long drive.
What's my destination
Send me a location
Wheres home?
Oh wait I'm driving in home
Always on the road
I just don't know
Wish it wasnt so cold
Now my eyes sting from tears freezing
Not enough blankets oh well i shouldn't be complaining
Could be worse
Stuck in a homeless hopeless curse
I have to stay strong not only for me
But to the people who say they'd do anything for me
I'm sorry but I dont trust that
Living in my truck
Depressed, cold, and lonely
Eyes ******* heavy
Just to cold to live and sleep