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Nellie 55 Mar 2020
How
How many times will love **** me
I'm dying slowly
I'm packing a bag filled with fake smiles
For the sake of others i have to pretend for a while
Nellie 55 Mar 2020
:p
I'm always alone in this darkness
**** happiness
I'm caught up on a streak again. Want to smash some heads open. I've got a motive to prove I'm atleast a decent human being. But why do I feel like a ghost. No shame I equally don't like you the most. I hate ugly personality. Since I'm invisible I can get away with haunting all your petty. Dark motives ready. At least I ******* stick to my words and impulsively help others in need. Put jerks before me. I'm a be better off you'll see. A better journey is all I seek. Just don't play me, because I'll put you down and mock you to a nursery. I've rarely saw light, I'm fairly shady. Pretty sure you had it easier. Bet most of you had daddy issues? Well I can give you advise walk the opposite way he did. Just like when you were a little kid. Not everyone sticks around. Might as well have fun when your going to be hitting the ground. Here since we being petty, I'll play along and pretend I'm in luxury. Because with this game I'm a still survive cuz I know my trajectory.
Nellie 55 Mar 2020
Last night I got stood with a viewed text. The ****, you think I'm ugly? Cool what's next? You know what? you right, but atleast I know me! I'm use to being left, benefit of the doubt. Called them out! Oh how it's adorable,  I'm gullible. Sometimes I just accept their lies to sleep better at night. I find it funny people advertise then ghost me. Up in tell I'm needed, there's reality. Funny how all the sudden I'm important all the sudden. But when i want to chat or hang y'all ******* go runnin. At least with the "*******" that were honest of their thought of me had the nerves to say it. **** everybody who pretend to take it for granted! I think I'm a decent guy, living in the place isolating inside. I'm a pack a lip and spit on your thoughts. I'm super good at shaming the ones who attempt criticize me. Wanna bury every body with the mental **** that has one devastated. I'm a creater of your darkside and I'm a stay motivated. I'm the type of guy that will at least have my back because nobody was truly there growing up. Gave up on help long time ago. Guarantee none of you would survive solo. As long as I'm ghosted I cant atleast be haunting. Laughing at every who all the sudden needs me because I'm a be invisible taunting. So go a head and say you all the sudden like me, then tell the world that I'm low key ugly.
Nellie 55 Feb 2020
Hey what's your name?
I just wanted to make sure you were safe.
You were pretty **** wasted and I saw the fear in your friends eyes
I know what thats like
I swear I'm not trying to mess with you
Just trying to help you get through
Seems like your friends anxiety is hitting the roof
Whats that? 80% proof!
Ah man yeah you gonna black out
Pass out
Not a doubt
Regrets about to happen
Trust me i know all about not knowing my aftermath
You just gotta rest and avoid your phone before you get criticism back
Months and months ago when I took my old gf and a coworker to a buddies party... i ended up kinda babysitting lol but on the serious not last night I saw someone freaking out and it reminded me of someone
Nellie 55 Feb 2020
At a club
Still sober not gonna **** it up
Was with homies
Still lonely
If everyone is trying to wreck my confidence
Missions accomplished
My temptations stronger
Nah man I'm trying I'm not staying any longer
Alone like crazy
Like for real on a serious note
I'm the type to do good until you start becoming a ghost
A bit needy
Clingy
****! When will I change to make others happy?
Like I'm trying
Bet
Not like I'm isolating and crying
Time to pretend I'm ight
Don't wanna fight
"It's cool I checked out"
I'm a be fine
Nellie 55 Feb 2020
I'm bout to make a change. Sporadically between bills and hopefully jobs.
I've got some work.
Going to prove worth.
Went solo
Found myself so cold
But I'm going beast mode
**** the low blows and cheat code
How many heart aches does one put up with
How much control do i need for this
I'm a work on me
No one controls my personality
But I've got a reputation
Lost in my mind and disgusted with my reflection
Work is all I need
Mental sanity
Working on a better personality
I'm a put a new start to work
Nellie 55 Feb 2020
I am not doing the picking sides game. I've got friends among friends. The battle is between y'all and not me. I'm a just keep my head down beneath. I'm a stay away but be in between. I don't have friends that stay for very long. But I have ones that may be a part if my lufe forever. I'm hoping to do better. If you a true friend you wouldn't beg me to pick sides. I don't wanna be a part of your war
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