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Neal Emanuelson Feb 2015
A proposal I lay before you and with an earnest smile
I propose to you (yes you, my dear)
That you spend three days in my care
For three days will be enough for you
To decide your time with me

The first day will be bliss unending
For you have only known me for a few months
As we unravel a masterpiece of cherished things
Bathed in sweetness you’ve only dreamed
We shall tour the world (online)
We shall eat culinary wonders (from some store around the corner)
Straight out of my fancy china and silverware, no less
The luxury of life will hide nothing from us
And at night, I will caress your every pain (and pleasure, if I may be so bold)
Put my (newly acquired) masseuse skills to the test
And ease your worries until you drift to sleep (or agony)
All in my warm and loving (-ly sore) arms
(until they start to lose their feeling, in which I will promptly wake you)  

The second day will be a casual life
In which you will have known me for a decade
You will be comfortable in my pajamas’ warmth
(Let’s be honest, you look better in them anyway)
We will share a cup of sweet tea, direct from my lips to yours
(after it’s cooled, of course, scolded tongues make no romance)
Lay on the couch for hours as we talk about nothing (because nothing is on)
And when we can rest no more, we will wander the outside world
To rediscover the things we knew all over again, holding hands
After we’ve made our findings, we’ll return to the comforts of our walls
I will prepare a meal (that I’ve frozen) from the best recipe site I can find
Then we will sit in front of the tube again like couch potatoes
And watch a movie, cuddled together until we fall asleep on each other
(Popcorn, blankets, drinks, the works- all within reach, my dear)

The third day will test you and your limits
As we have been together for a half-century, a year, and then some
The days have taken their toll as our bodies fluctuate more
Our contact brief as we become recluses even to ourselves
And even the days in which you renew your love become woeful
A trivial, typical, and tiresome feat, if I could muster more effort
But I am now a former shell of the one you’ve met long ago
Tempting you to flee for another, younger fling to test time by
And if you go to chase the dreams and aspirations I held you back from
I will wait, composed as I decompose, ever slowly with nothing more
But my ring, my pride, and my heart containing with nothing but you
(and the tubes from the pacemaker, but if Iron Man could do it…)

So I ask you this once my dear (maybe twice if you didn’t hear me the first time)
Will you take me up on my proposal or shall I sleep forever knowing
That I could never obtain someone so precious to me in this lifetime?

© 2014
Neal Emanuelson Feb 2015
‘cause I’m writing in the dark
And this light- it burns my eyes
This song, along with my soul,
Is fading with my cries

Nowhere I can turn
No one can help me here
No time left to grasp
Nothing to hold my fears

Darkest developments
Patience that once could live
A taste of the end so sweet
And nothing to give in return

Maybe I’m just scared
But I know that I’m scarred
To turn and walk away
Or runaway so far

© 2003
Neal Emanuelson Feb 2015
Peering through the dark
Wondering where I failed
Another smile to say “I’m great”
But I would never say I’ve healed

Friends caring all too much
Sorry, your pasts I can’t relate
I made hate exist in my heart
And I can’t take it away

I don’t want you to worry
But this is what I cause
To lose what I dreamed of most
Mundane thoughts of a talent lost

It’s the magnitude that makes me sick
Makes me seem sadder than I am
But there’s really nothing left for me
My dreams will eventually break in time

© 2003
Neal Emanuelson Feb 2015
Still breathing, unfortunately
I feel cold
As if I was in the ground
It haunts me
These atrocious nightmares
My eternal soul’s scar

As I look to my right
Cold skies stare back menacingly
And to my left
The shadows call me
I don’t know where to go
And I don’t know how to live

A flame beckons to me
A light pulls me in
And I have this choice to make
How will I move on
Past the grave of life?

We were already dying
Since we began life
Now I’m sick of laying
In my grave of strife
And I’ll take your life once again
Always in death is the time I spend
Until I find a grave of my own

© 2003

— The End —