Even though I'm afraid
I'm more afraid of the questions that might follow
   I keep my chin up
When inside I'm ashamed and feel so hollow
   I can't find the answers So I do the things I'm doing knowing full well that I'm shallow

Ive been brought to the point of hate and its
galling
Ive been brought to the point of waterfall tears and its
ugly

Ive been described as a coward for not listening
Ive been described as inconsiderate for not thinking
Ive been described as selfish for not taking what is willing given

I just want to run away

my rosy fingered dawn,

tipped one crooked finger,

a come-hither come on,

entangled me in secrets,

hot as sin,

licked me in the ear,

twilight's a long time away,

stay for a while,

rolled that belly like curls on water,

running down her back,

sashayed back and forth,

her hips are just a fact,

drew me in,

drugged on sun-kissed rays,

not letting go,

please,

i'm here to stay,

sshhhh,

its okay,

im here all day,

like a dream in the light of dawn

some days, I add to my plate, a spoonful of bull and a load of ****

some days, I look in the mirror, disgust clouded my eyes full of doubt

I can't waste another day, slipping through my fingers like the sands of time

Drowning in potential, limit to which mold I can fill it with

face away, don't look at the cracks that fill my certainty

I look back, no regrets, yea right, can only say that cuz it can't be changed

but the only thing I've been doing is knocking on walls

slip and fall, dodging calls, hug the prison I've been living in

open the window, choke on air, be awhile till someone cares

there was no excuse
no judgement staring back at me
the warmth you exuded, as pure as the driven snow
All that white welcomes me

          I've been waiting