When you joke you sound so serious
And I never seem to get it until it’s too late

You like order and tradition
I listen to Christmas songs in July.

Our moods never seem to match
You seem to thinks that that’s just fine.

But I don’t understand.

I’m always worried, it seems,
That I’ll somehow let you down
And in doing so, I’ve succeeded.

I always do the best that I can
to look good for you
you complain, “it isn’t needed.”

You’re family only likes the ‘Normal’
Whatever that is
But I stick out like a sore thumb.

From my hair and it’s ever-changing colors,
To my jeans with their pictures and quotes,
...That are drawn on with sharpies...
and the paint stains that cover them from time to time!

Because of all of this, I worry.

Am I too weird?
Is my rainbow-like hair too odd?
Are my drawn on jeans ,
My crazy belly dancing skirts,
And pentagram necklaces,
Simply too strange?

What of my love of olives?
And how I ***** up my face when I think?
Do you not like how I spend hours on my computer,
Working on one picture (trying to make it just right)?

Or how, when I choose to color my art by hand,
I walk away with paint all over me (Even on my cheeks),
And an oddly proud grin plastered on my face?

I worry, and pace,
For days on end, at times,
Wondering if you really love me.

And when you finally see me,
The weird, colorful,  oddball that I am
You smile, and kiss me,
saying "i've missed you so much!"

And I know that I worried for nothing,
That you are different from your parents,
That our beliefs live together in harmony,
That you actually like the odd faces I make when I'm thinking
and the weird colors I dye my hair,
And that you really, truly love me—

Paint stains and all.

If there was another way to say it;
An easy way for you to understand...
I would not be pouring out these words
In an attempt to paint a picture.
I wouldn't be desperate to bottle
My emotions and thoughts
Into these stained glass letters,
With the tin syntax lid.
Poking holes through the top
Of my head,
So you could see.
Firefly ideas.

I am a photographer of hearts and minds.
The blood red room holds
My negatives.
How can I make them easier for you to see?
The composition so sweet,
The lighting so contrasted with
The shadows hiding the everyday.

What I really want you to do is stop reading.
Go look into the eyes of a lover.
Go hold a child's hand while they sing.
Listen to the wind change.
Feel the pulse of a city.
Cry with old wrinkled skin
For youth and life, and hope.

That is what my poem means.
It is a pulsing picture
Held captive in rhetoric.

Have you ever met someone who makes you want to be a better man?
Who makes you want to try harder, be smarter, run faster, jump higher, and soar farther? Who makes you insides feel like they are on fire, just by breathing the same air as she does?

Have you ever met someone whose each smile is etched deep into your memory? Whose giggle gives you goosebumps? Whose eyes cause you to smile for hours on in just because your eyes have met them? Whose lips remind you of a strawberry so sweet and sour that it seems forbidden? Whose skin seems to outshine the sun and out glisten the moonlight off a steady riverbed? Whose silky soft hair seems to redefine the color of the night sky and whose smell seems to linger on my mind for days? Whose small petite frame seems to house the most elaborate and beautifully built universe which is her body?

Have you ever met someone whose gaze seems to see right through you? Whose one whisper can alter your conception of reality? Whose one word can make you fly to the sky or fall deep into a black hole? Whose beautiful body is only outmatched by her radiant soul and her bewitching mind? Whose every venture seems more magnificent only because she is the one partaking in it? Whose every breath inspires countless of people, but she is not aware of it? Whose heart seems so big that it encompasses the entire universe and like the universe is constantly expanding?

Have you ever met someone who to be just friends with would make you happy for a lifetime? And to be more... shutter... that type of euphoria can only be felt by the truly lucky.

Have you ever met someone?

In the misty shades of morning light,
Where daytime breaks the dark of night,
You come to me in sunburst streaks,
With love’s seared flames upon your cheeks.

And in the meadows near the rivers,
Where knights and maidens have gone by,
In my embrace I warm your shivers,
Within a world now lost in time.

With your certain precious powers,
You capture me in chains of grace,
Bathing us in love’s pure showers,
As joyous  laughter wreaths your face.

Now as the sunshine glows brighter,
And we hold each other tight,
Our sweet souls become much lighter,
As we speed together towards the night.

You said you'd come to tea
so I made a cake
chocolate sweet; maraschino filled;
girdled with a satin blue ribbon;
set out the prettiest plates;
hand painted with forget-me-nots.
And from the darkest corner of a drawer
found a single candle to celebrate the day.
I'd understand if you had 'phoned,
but now the chocolate lends a bitter taste
and even the despairing posies have given up all hope
as the candle's flame flickers my ever waiting shadow.

when I manage to step into the limelight
I am only pulled back into the shadows more
The quiet corner is my unwanted home
The blackness is my unwanted comfort
I am stuck behind an invisible wall
Trapped from reaching the world around me

Alone, I wait for a flash of light
A key to unlock the door of silence
The hinges to glide open with doubt  
For my world to open
If I step out of my box
What will I do,what can I be
All that comes to my mind is my corner
and my crawling figure dragged back into it.

like a piece of paper
printed-stored in a dark file
then -after a while placed inside a shredder
that how useless i felt
when our love went through the wire
it doesnt matter how much i couldve prayed
but i had fallen pray
of this cycle of life that happens day by day

like a piece of paper
i got recycled-re vived again
as to become useful to somone
out there
willing to make me appreciated again
turning me into something different
making me feel useful again

pegz (c)

To sleep is to recharge but my battery isn't dead
My brain powers on but my body cries for bed
Just one more thought, just hear me out
a memory or a wish
I want to sleep, I need to sleep, please let me sleep.

i'm tired, i'm angry, frustrated and sad
as the vulchers circle my head,
they're waiting for me to snuggle and curl
then they'll descend upon my bed
Please let me sleep, I need to sleep. I want to sleep

She counted the ringing bells.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six.
They echoed through the empty church.

She walked down the isle, a knot in her stomach.
Her father smiled at her from where he sat.
He's proud of her recently.
If only he knew.

She sat down and the minister said a prayer.
She went through the motions.
In the name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit.

Forgive me Father for I have sinned.
It's been almost 10 years since I believed in God.

Her bare feet slapped against the pavement.
Tulle skirt stuck to her sweaty thighs.
The first drop fell.
Rain came that day.

Arms outstretched, she started to twirl.
Until the footsteps came near.
Out of time with the thunder claps and bursts of light.
She stopped and stared.

He was there.
Drenched in the rain.
Watching.
She laughed and pulled him to dance with her.