You're mad at me
Because I'm not in love with you
But that takes time

I don't bow to anyone
except for one

I appreciate you and who you are as a person
But loving you still takes time
Don't judge yourself so harshly
We live in a real world
And it's time you got real with yourself

I'm flattered that you find me that lovable
But I'm not truthfully
It's very easy
To fall in love with me
But not to love me for me
That is something every potential needs to know

I realize this and do my best to be honest
But it still isn't enough to keep me
From breaking hearts

Love just doesn't come as easily for me
As it may have for you

I apologize for letting you fall in love with me
I am not worth it
Because I am in love with another

Wanting to call
Yet knowing there is nothing
You can say to make things right
No apology worth giving that will fix things

Accepting the truth that that part of your life is over
But being stuck to the memories and habits
Of living it

Knowing the obvious and logical
Trapped by feelings
Entangled in your own heartstrings

All is never lost

One day a phone call saying "hello"
Will be more than enough
To acknowledge a good memory
Instead of baggage

Looking up at the window
The best you have
Is hoping to fall asleep
But the best you have is memories
The light that crosses your ceiling
Wakes you up and reminds you
You gave up on something
That is down the block by now

I found some old letters today
That I had kept from my past
Tucked away, left to forget

Lost loves
And lost loved ones
Were amid the mix

Always talking about the weather with my grandfather
How it was much hotter where I was overseas
He sent me pictures of ice sculptures
So I could "feel more cool"

Not my experience,
But how you treated me
Was the first real time
I ever felt like a man and not a child

That,
I will forever thank you for
Making me "feel more cool"

As far as past loves go
I don't have much to say
The letters you wrote me were often
And always something to look forward to

You helped me not feel so alone
When I was so far apart
From everyone and everything I knew
I can't help but be thankful

In many ways,
You may have saved my life

After reading some of these old letters
I am reminded of things almost forgotten
Never meant to be swept away or lost
But kept
Reminding and feeding the heart

I used to dream
Of how I would feel
If I ever met the person
That saw into me

Past the pain
My baggage and troubles
My anger and frustration
Of waiting for happiness
For so ****** long

Through all the *******
Every time I had to tell myself
Keep going
Don't give up
You deserve to be happy
I still believe

I keep dreaming
And sometimes dreams come true
I know this to be fact

My ability to love someone
Is not an ability I lack

If you could go back in time
Would you go back
And right the wrongs you made?
To **** regret before it's seeds were planted

Would you hug a person
That you didn't get a chance to say goodbye to?
To feel their embrace one last time

Would you take back a lover
That was lost because the timing was wrong?
To show them who you had become since

Would you go back
So you could plant the right seeds
That would grow into something beautiful?
To have something to admire in your old age

Would you go back
To see yourself young again
Carefree and beautiful
Without pain and full of potential?
To be reminded of the reality that person isn't gone
But only buried within you

If you could go back
What would really be worth changing?

There is something
You need to understand about me
I'm older now
I've loved and I've lost

I've lived with regret
After doing someone wrong
Who didn't deserve it

I've judged myself
Wondering if I would ever again
Feel right
Wondering if I would even be able to feel again

Yet I find myself still here
In one piece
And not at all crass or harsh
But only seeing things more vividly

I understand now
That sometimes love and beauty and good things
Mostly only come in moments

I recognize and acknowledge them
While they are at my front door
I take my time saying hello
Instead of goodbye

The memories that will last
Will mostly be made up of moments
I still feel lucky for them