last year
i discovered
ren

music
personified
he is
an example
an inspiration
to many

he
understands
because
he
has been
there

where?

in those
dark
scary
recesses
of
your
mind

he has
been there
and
back again

his
suffering
was
so much
more
than
mine

he has
been there
and
back again

if he can deal with
his health challenges
then
surely i can endure
mine as well

if only
i
knew
how

how?  ren

he is
a musical map
back
to
sanity

this is
what it means
to be
inspirational

I rage
In frustration

I cry
in frustration

talking
is the
beginning
of the storm
a few
dark clouds
from a
few
forgotten words
I knew
ten
seconds ago

the storm intensifies

an attempted
story
explanation
question
answer
yet
comprehension
is a rare jewel
still
hidden
in
the
mud

too fast
too slurred
too loud
too quiet

not enough patience
not enough words
not enough listeners
not enough time

the tornado begins
and ends the same
with a rush of
inability
and
embarrassment
and
wonder

why

I am
too frequently
the source of
mine

two cars depart
a path we know
like the back
of our hands

a beginning expected
no hint of
what was to come

the threshold
of familiarity
suddenly breached

the look of confusion
I feel echoes on his face
as I drive by

two cars separate
one turns
the other straight

fog fills my brain
overflowing
into the world
around me

my thoughts
flood with indecision

forward or back
known or unknown
both shrouded

an eternity passes
I turn around
head back to
where I came from

the vanished threshold
more fog in its place

I follow the confused face
an inkling of a memory

a single building emerges
a beacon of light

beyond the beacon
a choice to be made
almost but not quite

I spy an empty lot
I must do what I dread

I place the call
I try to explain

my journey continues
two cars reunite

a little less hazy
a little less confused
a lot more concerned

the beginning
of the end
of my driving