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Nameless Dec 2013
He loves me.
The single yellow petal falls like I fell for you.

He loves me not.
Another drops to the ground like my heart did when you forgot to call.

He loves me.
The softness of the flower reminds me of your kiss that night under the stars.

He loves me not.
The inaudible sound of the section being ripped from it’s origin almost sounds like my heart did when I realized you deserved more.

He loves me.
The easiness of pulling the petal resembles how easy it was to fall in love with you.

He loves me not.
The small scar in the top corner of the delicate foliole disenchants the image like the ones on my wrist did to the way you looked at me.

He loves me.
I grab on to this last petal like I grabbed on to that last, “I love you.”

He loves me not.
This tattered, empty skeleton of something once breathtaking will never truly be able to convey the hollowness of my being when I lost you.


He loves me not.
Dec 2013 · 708
Puzzle Pieces
Nameless Dec 2013
Insanity is scribbled handwriting in a tattered journal
words awkwardly strung together
like pieces of a puzzle that do not fit together
yet still forced together
arranged by someone who finally got tired of
trying to put it together correctly.

Or maybe that’s just life.
Nov 2013 · 1.5k
Starburst
Nameless Nov 2013
A warm summer night long ago,
the brightest star to the left of the moon
exploded into a shower of stardust
that, as it fell gently,
through the layers of the atmosphere,
combined with the rain,
and the laughs of lovers,
and butterfly wings.
And by the time it reached the ground,
it had materialized as the shimmer
in your bright blue eyes
that gazed at me
in a way that almost mended
the most broken parts
of my soul.
Nov 2013 · 553
Breathing
Nameless Nov 2013
when the only thing
illuminating the world
are the stars who live
life times away
and the moon
who gracefully rules
everything beneath her
and the weight on my chest
begins to increase so subtly
until I am being fully crushed underneath it
laying there as the whisps of forgotten dreams
are pushed out of me
and my heart struggles to continue beating
the simple thought of your crystal eyes
returns some feeling into the tips
of my fingers that tingle as humanity
begins to flow within them again
you feel like breathing in a world
that thrives on asphyxiating dreamers
Nameless Nov 2013
the moon herself could not
find the words to describe you my love

being a self acclaimed poet
I want nothing more than to rewrite you
into beautiful metaphors and verses
until I've used every single word
there is available to use

I want to be able to say that your eyes
felt like the ocean and looked like home
But your eyes are so much more than that my dear

I want to say that your laugh
Is more precious than the diamonds
In my mothers jewelry box
That I dreamed of as a little girl
But your laugh makes the silly rocks
Seem like litter on the street in comparison
To you

I want to be able to say that your arms
Are my shelter in the blizzard of fleeting sanity
That has become my home
But really,
I no longer live in that cold place much at all anymore
Because your arms feel like breathing
And safety

I want to be able to put you in words
But I can't do that because the words would never
No matter how hard they tried
Shine as bright as you
Nov 2013 · 265
Art
Nameless Nov 2013
Art
maybe it's true that only the
truly insane
can fully appreciate art
because maybe it's also true
that only the truly insane
can really create art
Nov 2013 · 303
Pain Turned To Verse
Nameless Nov 2013
there once lived a poet
who had a knack for
the rain
and self destructive behavior
and somehow
turning everyone and everything
in to verses made of whispering words
gave her some sanity
or maybe it took what little sanity she had
away
she could never tell
Nov 2013 · 1.7k
I Can't Remember
Nameless Nov 2013
i can't remember the day we first met
but i can remember the first time we kissed
and you walked away
as i stood there and fought with all I had
to not scream and dance around in circles

i don't remember the first thing
you ever said to me
but i can remember how
when i sat in a hospital bed
and the nurses were drawing blood from
the crazy girl with sad eyes,
you told me that you thought
that i was the most amazing girl you'd ever met

i can't remember what you were wearing
when i first saw you
but i can remember how mesmerizing you looked
in the black suit your wore that night
when i realized i was falling for you

and i can't remember what event it was exactly
that brought you to me
but it was the best thing
that's ever happened to me

because now i have you.
Nov 2013 · 323
Springtime Drugs
Nameless Nov 2013
your crystal eyes are
the home I never had,
reflecting back to me
fragments of the sun
that I grab hold of and
inhale into the back parts of my lungs
   like
spring flowers
I shoot into my veins
that are otherwise filled
with ice and faded memories
of a girl who used to laugh
and look at the stars
Nov 2013 · 858
Infinity
Nameless Nov 2013
A day
For every drop of water
There is in the ocean,
Is how many days
I'll love
      You.
Nov 2013 · 410
Nighttime Quandry
Nameless Nov 2013
Come sit with me
in the velvet textured
yellow flower petals
and whisper the words
that the stars never speak.

the vast blackness of the night sky
holds me tightly
and gazes at the colors surrounding your heart
in a way that makes even me jealous.

and if my face appears
in your dreams tonight my love,
would you recognize it?
Nov 2013 · 1.1k
Sandman
Nameless Nov 2013
why can illusion not
synthesize in the dreams
my subconscious paints
the way it constitutes my
gullible awakened perception?
sprinkle fragments of light from the moon
and pinches of a powder made
from the innocence of a child
on top of your exuded love
that I inhale into the
deepest parts of my lungs
Fearful that one day it might escape
and the disillusioned state of my
inner self will see nothing but
the stars weeping
as you walk away from me.
Nov 2013 · 500
I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry.
Nameless Nov 2013
You reach out a helping hand
as you try to understand
the fleeting thoughts that fill my head
of pretty flowers now dead

You want nothing more than to make me better
but I only see your eyes get wetter.
The desperation in your face
looks to me like burned lace.

I am sorry this is what I’ve caused,
everyone’s happiness has been paused.
I didn’t mean to make you hurt
staring at your ripped out heart laying in the dirt.

You only want to know what’s wrong
why my life sounds like a sad song.
Do you see what I’ve done?
My mind has plagued everyone.

I’m really am trying, please know
that one day my demons will be let go.
And even if that isn’t true,
a piece of my soul still fights for you.

So wipe your eyes and lift your head
I am not completely dead
Times of darkness will come and go
But I will always love you so.
Nov 2013 · 871
Contagion
Nameless Nov 2013
Take caution when you peel back
the layers of my skull
and look inside my mind

The human psyche manages to be, perhaps
simultaneously
the most dangerous
and the most breathtaking
place to visit.

It houses every part of a person.

And not all of those parts are ones
we want to see.

There lives the nightmares,
the self hatred,
the pain,
the hollowed out shapes that were once called
hope.

It’s too late to turn now
shut the lid and
walk away pretending you saw nothing
until you believe it.
You are held in place
forced to watch as the black swirls
consume that person.

But even worse,
are the light parts.
The pieces of them still
filled with color
and signs of life.
The fire,
the innocence,
the good that refuse to be
taken.

Worse are these parts because
they force you to realize,
as you watch them try to survive,
that no matter their will to live,
blackness will always cover up light.

And as soon as you understand this,
a piece of your own mind
fades to black.
Nov 2013 · 604
Change
Nameless Nov 2013
Do you want things to change?**
I should say yes.
I should tell you how
"this is not my destiny"
"I deserve better"
"I want to get better."
I should tell you.
I want to tell you.
I want to think those things.
But in all honesty,
I don't think I want to change,
because if you take away my
sadness
and pain
and hurt,
I don't know who I would be anymore.
So I'm sorry,
No.
I don't want things to change.
Nov 2013 · 1.1k
Sinful
Nameless Nov 2013
Sinful was the day
that I sold my soul to the devil
in exchange for a home
in these firey pits of hell.
Nov 2013 · 291
Pain
Nameless Nov 2013
Pain is the wind.
It whispers all the things
you can't bear to hear.
You have no control over it.
It is free to pick up
and die down as it chooses.
Try to catch me it whispers
fleeting with a grin because it knows
you are subordinate to it's commands.
Try to escape me it breathes.
You are alone.
Nobody can see me
I am the only one here for you.
You should be greatful for me.
Look what I've done for you.
I gave you a home.
I'm the only thing you know.
And you know it's right.
Nov 2013 · 563
Oblivion
Nameless Nov 2013
Oblivion
is a blanket.
A cover that protects
from what our souls
subconsciously determine
they can not handle.
We shield ourselves with it's mask,
and cast away what we do not-
can not-
cope with.
It is self preservation in the purest form.
We slip into the comforting embrace of oblivion
and pretend as if the demons outside of it
do not exist.
Nov 2013 · 377
Rhymed Tragedy
Nameless Nov 2013
The melody of her soul
one dark, and hauntingly unwhole
played incessantly in her brain
she remembered no time she felt sane.

Baby girl what happened here?
The tragic end is inescapably near.
The fire that kept you going is almost out
not enough care left to voice a shout.

Playing like a record on repeat
your fragmented mind you couldn’t beat.
No one knows how hard you tried
but sleep tight sweet angel, you no longer have to hide.

****** tear filled nights no longer ahead
you can rest now that you’re dead.
Nov 2013 · 1.0k
Innocence
Nameless Nov 2013
I woke up
alone
feelings of
cold
and
isolation
surrounded me in a haze

My eyes were open
yet the world was still dark.

It was so dark.

Dark enough to make me forget that
light had ever existed.

How had I gotten to this place?
I had no answer.
Maybe there was no answer.
Perhaps I was always
fated
to land in this location.

Alas,
my eyes land on a flickering in the distance.
A diminutive glow
contrasted by the vast night.

The curiosity of it
commands my legs to go towards it,
while something else,
something nameless,
warns me to stop.

But human nature can not be overridden.

Now,
in perspective,
I see a scene playing out
familiar to the
back-most parts of my brain.

A memory.

Myself as a little girl.
I watch myself draw.
What am I drawing?

I am drawing a butterfly,
every color of the rainbow
can be seen in it’s wings.

They resemble the smile on her face.
Wonder and innocence and ambition.
Life in it’s purest form.

And watching her, my heart warms.
She has everything to live for.
Her eyes filled with brightness
give me hope.

And with no warning at all,
the little girl is gone.
In her place is a girl,
still me,
slightly older now.
Perhaps around 11 years old.

I am still drawing the butterfly.
And it’s still vibrant with color.
And I still have hope.

Even when the shadows
tap on my shoulders,
telling me,
“No. It’s wrong.”
I still have hope.
Only questioning myself
for a fleeting moment.

And while I should be proud,
watching myself turn away
from those monsters,
I feel only a feeling of
blackness
enter the pit of my stomach.

Because I know how this story ends.

And like I foreshadow in my head,
the scene morphs again.
And this time,
the eyes,
the brown ones,
that used to reflect light off of their innocence,
are dead.
And the butterfly is now only two colors.
One is black,
outlining it’s hollow carcass.
The other is red.
The shade of red that didn’t come out of a paint bottle.

And before I can allow
any emotion to enter me,
the scene is gone again,
and replaced.

But this time there is no girl,
only a stone with her name and
a few dates carved into it.
The butterfly is still there though.
It lays in a box 6 feet under.
Nov 2013 · 1.9k
Dear Moon
Nameless Nov 2013
Dear Moon,

You looked beautiful tonight.
The kind of beauty
That grabs all eyes
and insists that they pay you attention.

But moon,
tell me,
are you lonely up there?
The infinity of stars that lay
scattered in your presence,
seem as if they could be pleasant company,
but is it all an illusion?

The stars trick the foolish
into thinking that they are in your
constant amity.
That’s what it looks like to us, Moon.
But those stars have never uttered one word to you
have they?
Immeasurable distances
make conversing quite difficult,
I would imagine.

Are you sad, Moon?
Is it distressing, Luna,
that us,
the ignorant,
believe that just because
our eyes see the stars in a way that
makes us believe they are near to you,
that you are not hurting?

Child of the night
who lives solitarily.
Do you weep?
Do you shed tears that we mistake
for beauty against the vast night sky?

Daughter of the dark,
who graces all with her
entrancing despondency,
Was there ever a time when you
had hope that somebody,
anybody
would save you from your fate?

Do you feel forsaken my love?
What have you done, Moon,
that would condemn you to this
paradoxically poetic reality?
You didn’t want this.
You only wanted to shed awe upon us,
and light the path home when it got
too dark.
And what have you gotten in return?

Isolation.
Nov 2013 · 880
Reliant
Nameless Nov 2013
Hearts that beat like
My fleeting sanity.
Fast and slow
Steady yet chaotic all at once.

passion

Can you hear them?
The words that encompass
Us when my eyes land on you.

electricity

touch
feel the complete bliss that is exuded
when I am near to you

escapes

Do you realize
I am at your mercy now?
You have the power
To destroy
Completely
The deepest parts of me
Because they are made of you.

reckless

Sing me a lullaby
That reminds me of the stars
And how in their simplicity
They rule everything beneath them

hush

Luna controls the tides
But looking at them
In all their force and power
You would never think that
They are commanded by anything

Sort of like my love for you
Seemingly strong and independent
But completely
And utterly
Reliant
On you.
Nov 2013 · 501
Remedy
Nameless Nov 2013
Run away with me*

Sometimes
Late at night,
When I lay alone
Aching to feel the absolute electricity
Of you pressed against me.

I think about things that
Aren't exactly pretty.
Like how I forget how to feel sometimes.
And how I might never be ok.
And how hurt can completely consume me
Whenever it choses too.

But then I remember
The way your eyes looked into mine
And I felt ok again.
How the light reflected off of them,
And I felt like a piece of myself,
One I thought was gone forever,
Came back to me in that moment.

Our souls entertwined so
intricately
That no one would ever
Be able to disconnect them.

And the darkness still consumes me at times
And I still don't know if
I'll ever be really ok,
But
I want to try to be,
For you.
Nov 2013 · 311
Words Do You No Justice
Nameless Nov 2013
It's almost funny
How much time I can spend
Trying and trying
To string words together
In a way that resembles the way
I feel
When I'm with you.

And call it poetic,
But I've never been able to
Make the words
Fit together
So that they do justice
To how you make me feel.

And you do just that, my love.
You make me feel.

And I hate you for it.

Along you came.
How the hell was I supposed to push you away?

I'm just a little bit broken.
And a few pieces of me,
Might be missing.
And I'm so sorry
That I only have parts of a soul
Filled with turmoil
To share with you.

Because you deserve so much more than that.
Nov 2013 · 522
How Poetic
Nameless Nov 2013
Broken girl.
Is it poetic?
Is there any way you could
Idealize it,
Or put it in words
That could maybe
Just maybe
Make it sound more aesthetic?

Because plainly stated,
There's nothing pretty about cuts defacing her skin
It's not tragically beautiful, the way she
Has lost her ability to feel happiness.
The tears she doesn't know how to stop
Are in no way elegant.

But wouldn't it be nice to think they were?
Because maybe, then they'd feel a little less real.
Maybe they would be just a little                       easier to deal with.
Maybe.

Wouldn't that be nice?
Nameless Nov 2013
War is no place for little girls.

I don't know how I got here.
Do not ask me
How I ended up in this danger zone
Having to constantly fight
With everything I have,
To keep myself standing here.

War is no place for little girls.

But then why is my head filled
With the demons who scream
Scream
Scream
And never relent in the slightest.
I try to hunker down, shy away from their voices but how am I supposed to quiet
Voices that aren't heard by my ears,
But rather, with the flickering remains
Of my fading soul.

War is no place for little girls.

I never wanted to be here.
It's so exhausting too.
Because you can NEVER escape.
You will be trapped here in this
War zone, lacking in sanity,
Forever.
Oct 2013 · 350
Love?
Nameless Oct 2013
Can you call it love

When even though you haven't even known them for the time it would take for the earth to orbit the sun, you feel like they've been there for your complete existence?

Can you call it love

When your body aches in the absence of them?

Can you call it love

When they've become a vital part of you, that if taken away, you would not survive without?

Can you call it love

When you look at them and are wholly overwhelmed with the warmth in your heart that their image brings?

Can you call it love

When nothing else in the world matters as much as their happiness?

Can you call it love

When you become so intertwined that you can't even remember where they end and you begin?

Can you call it love?
Nameless Oct 2013
I'm sorry if I fell in love with you too fast.
But it was mesmerizing
The way that you
Took your pure sincerity
And made me feel
A little more whole

I'm sorry if I fell in love with you too fast.
But how could I not
Immediately attach to someone,
Who saw something in me
That I didn't never believed
was there?

I'm sorry if I fell in love with you too fast.
But when I told you,
I was damaged,
And lost,
And you should've left right then,
You made a home for me
In your arms,
And all I'd ever wanted was a home.

I'm sorry if I fell in love with you too fast.
But you whispered sweet words,
And looked at me the way
The sun looks at the moon
In that moment before
They're forced apart

I'm sorry I fell in love with you too fast.
Because you deserve more
than a ghost of a girl
With nothing more than
naive optimism
And broken butterfly wings
In her flickering soul.


And that's all I have to give you.
Oct 2013 · 955
Summer Eyes
Nameless Oct 2013
I once new a boy
Who had eyes like summer.

They were the seductive blue
Of the condemning ocean.

His laugh was the sound
Of safety and warmth
Security and innocence.

His heart was a waterfall
That gave away understanding
And love.

And this boy,
With the Summer eyes
And waterfall core

Met a girl.

Who he thought,
Had eyes like bliss
And a core filled with optimism.

But she was an illusion.
Her picturesque smile
Was only a trick of the mind.

And her core
Was not filled with optimism,
But with the wings of broken butterflies,
And fragments of lost dreams.

And that fall, when he told her he loved her
She told him she loved him too
When in reality,
She had no form of any
Love to give

But even her,
The soul stolen girl
With eyes like a dying fire
Could not bear
To turn his summer eyes
Into those of winter
Oct 2013 · 647
Faces on the Bus
Nameless Oct 2013
People sitting on a bus
All sitting in the same vehicle
Yet complete strangers

The girl who sits in the back
and looks out the window
thinking about selfish escapes
and leaving her demons behind
Trapped in the mortal world

Sits next to

The man who lost his wife
that one cold night when
the roads were icy and he was driving
just a little too fast

Who sits behind

The pretty blonde girl
who is on her way home from
The double shift she worked at her second job
that she needs to pay the bills for her and
the child she wasn't ready to have

Who sits across from

The boy with the piercings
and arms canvases in art
pictures that represent the emotion he felt
when his dad left him.

And if you had to pick just one,
Who would you say had it the worst?
Oct 2013 · 424
Nursery Rhymes
Nameless Oct 2013
A story learned from ages young
So slyly disguised a future hung

The tale of an egg held up so tall
One day fell down off of his wall

Broken were the pieces that once made a whole
And no efforts to repair could fix his soul

But was the story really about an egg?
Or was it a warning of what came ahead

For the sing song voiced girl
With a gleam in her eye and hair in a curl

Who too crashed down from up so high
Pieces too shattered to put back in tie.
Oct 2013 · 787
Cracked Ice
Nameless Oct 2013
Walking across a frozen pond
When it begins to crack.

Knowing what will happen,
You fight to run back.

But the foundation you stand on
Is spidering faster than you your feet can carry you

And the ice you seek to flee from
Was not made to be escaped,

But you refuse to succumb to it's commands
Getting back up each time it's slippery surface
Grabs your feet and brings you down
to meet it's cold heartless complexion

And the cold grows more paralyzing with each fall
Making it more difficult to get back to your feet

All the while, in the back of your mind is
The knowledge of the imminent break
That will send you falling into the
Inescapable icy black depths of  numbness

Yet, for a reason unknown to you,
Despite the unavoidable doom you are fated with,
You deny to give up.

And you're not sure whether to call it strength,
Or tragic naïveté.
Oct 2013 · 987
Human Nature
Nameless Oct 2013
Human nature is inevitable.

We want what we can't have.
And when we see others who have
What it is we desire,
We want to take it.

Human nature is inevitable.

And eventually,

The girl who laughs will no longer grace the room with her lighthearted giggle,

because they took  that from her.

The girl who dreams will no longer have anything to live for,

because they took that from her.

The girl who embraced people with her kindness will be turned to stone,

because they took that from her.

And the girl who did nothing but give love away will no longer feel anything but pain,

Because they took that from her.

Human nature is inevitable.
Oct 2013 · 312
Darkness
Nameless Oct 2013
The thing about darkness
Is that it is both temporary
And eternal

There are bouts of time
That light shines through
Piercing through it
Giving you the illusion that it is
In fact
Temporary

But the darkness is always there
Sometimes it is diminished
But it's always there.
Oct 2013 · 1.5k
Autumn Leaves
Nameless Oct 2013
Autumn leaves
Are a trick of the mind.
An illusion of beauty,
That mask the harsh reality
Of what they represent.

Mesmerized by their colors
People mistake them for beauty.

But what are autumn leaves really?

They are leaves
Changing
Inevitably changing
With no control over the matter
Loosing what they once were altogether

And then
When the cold fully encompasses them
And it becomes too much to bare any longer,
The simply fall away,
Completely forgotten by the people who were once
Infatuated with their beauty
But have lost interest now
Because they are no longer
appealing to the eye.

— The End —