She no longer felt a pure feeling of animosity inside of her,
Like all of her power had just floated out of her body,
Leaving her dead inside.
Nostalgia, heart-break, a longing for a kind soul of pure comfort.
With these wishes she felt herself burying her emotionless body even further into the pit of despair that had lived inside of her soul for many years now.
She covered the pit over with fake feelings of hope, happiness and self confidence,
Leaving her hopeless at the bottom,
She was buried deep in the pit of despair which inhabited her every emotion,
Isolated from everyone around.
She'd been heartbroken too many times before,
And she could not enjoy things how she used to any longer,
Because she was no longer ready to take the world by storm,
But to take the long rope,
Made from despair, self-pity, depression and the lost hope that wondered from her that very night,
Wrap it around her neck,
And disintegrate into nothing but a memory and a gravestone,
Like she never really existed at all.

A free bird leaps on the back
Of the wind and floats downstream
Till the current ends and dips his wing
In the orange suns rays
And dares to claim the sky.

But a BIRD that stalks down his narrow cage
Can seldom see through his bars of rage
His wings are clipped and his feet are tied
So he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
Of things unknown but longed for still
And his tune is heard on the distant hill for
The caged bird sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
And the trade winds soft through
The sighing trees
And the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright
Lawn and he names the sky his own.

But a caged BIRD stands on the grave of dreams
His shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
His wings are clipped and his feet are tied
So he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with
A fearful trill of things unknown
But longed for still and his
Tune is heard on the distant hill
For the caged bird sings of freedom.

I hope one day you are okay
You don’t feel the pain
You don’t search for ways
To reinforce negative thoughts
With cutting away

I hope one day you find the strength
To break free from the bonds
To fight it, the force
Of something cold and dark and hard
Like the ground you weep on

I hope one day you are happy
When nothing can bring you down
And you will live and love, merrily
The universe will surround you in light
Radiating your entire being

Because you are worth more than the sadness inside you will have you believe
Because you are worth more to the world being happy and free
Because you deserve it, everything

If anyone told me when I was little that when I was older,
when the leaves fell down I would be so sad
I wouldn’t have watched them spiral down with such wonder.
I might have even taken the liberty of climbing to the tops of them
and
taping them to their own branches.
The younger version of myself loved me more than I do now.

There are a small collection of us fighting for our lives,
as extinguished lights all we look for is more darkness to hide with.
Among empty red seats of an all but abandoned theatre I found my reflection.
A mirror in the shape of a girl.
Cries of help can be only mere whispers if need be
and
I have many secrets I do not wish to shout.

She spoke to me more with her eyes than with her mouth,
in turn I found that we spoke the same language.
Maybe I was too afraid to ask her where home was
but
she did tell me that she went to bed early
“and not like 8 pm early, like 6 pm early”

I wondered if that was because she was in love with the darkness or her dreams.

You don’t ask questions like that unless you’re prepared to answer them yourself.

What I can tell her is what I know:

We are electric.
My lips aren’t quite frozen
and
my battery is not yet dead
and
if igniting one another saves both or neither at least we tried.
I will use my words as a defibrillator,
shocking you, shocking you, shocking you,
until I once again hear the sound of fire, keeping you alive.
I won’t give up on you so you better not give up on yourself.

I will bring you back to life.

*Illuminate the darkness for me darling