lonesome eyes lock amidst the herbal steam in a zen cafe

twirling ruby noodles with cheesy jokes and promising smiles

lethargic lips draw near under a shower of new beginnings

a medley of possessions occupy the forgotten panels of a rustic home

her chiffon pearl gown glides across a narrow alley of blush rose pedals

his laborious hands cradle their infant: one salty bead crawls down his bristly cheek

unknown illness defeats her fragile heart: thirty-seven years young

enticing trigger releases in his despondent grip

forever eternally: the man and the woman


siempre eternamente: el hombre y la mujer

comunicados de gatillo sugerentes en su agarre abatido

enfermedad desconocida derrota a su frágil corazón: treinta y siete años de joven

sus manos laboriosas cuna su bebé: una perla salada se arrastra por sus mejilla hirsuta

su vestido de la gasa de la perla desliza a través de un estrecho callejón de rubor rosa pedales

un popurrí de las posesiones ocupan los paneles olvidados de una casa rústica

letárgicos labios se acercan bajo una lluvia de nuevos comienzos

haciendo girar los fideos rubí con sirve bromas y sonrisas prometedoras

ojos solitarios en medio del bloqueo de vapor de hierbas en un café zen

i didn’t want any flowers
i only wanted
to lie with my hands turned up
and be utterly empty.

how free it is
you have no idea how free*.

desert adventures on the **** of a camel
reins posses my sandy hands onward the dunes
gratitude warranted between cultural differences
i am free.

a sunset cruise along the seine
la tour eiffel illuminated my mind in the heart of the city
floating in the depths of enchantment
i am free.

elephant endowing hugs in the jungle outskirts
my neck is affectionately smothered for a brown banana
both part with fulfillment achieved
i am free.

gazing at the quintessential cappella sistina
divine history indefinitely controls my eyes
time ceases to exist in the atmosphere
i am free.

adrift in a crisp lake on the border of austria
bumps multiply across the plateau of my bare body
conscience motionless
thoughts unprovoked
i am free.

gliding above the snow-capped swiss alps
my arms extended to receive an embrace of happiness
only this moment is relative
i am free.

you can’t water dead flowers
be free.
           *sylvia plath

in life, people have their own paths, trajectories... going through space.
those who aren't on the same path as you will collide into you briefly but continue on into a slightly different direction. we forever affect each other when our paths intersect.

you and i collided during the fresh part of my nineteenth year.
it was intended for fulfilling the desire of companionship yet became platonic.
you were a bad boy; rough exterior but in my perspective were a dear.
such a switch on my usual attraction aspect, not enjoying your habits that were persistently chronic.

those eyes
oh those eyes

i truly saw your inner buddha- i opened your box.
we clicked. never have i felt such comfort in a short amount of time,
however; you didn't change, in the end still sneaky as a fox....
my knowledge that you lie and cheat made me come to the conclusion that you would never be mine.

i fell in love. my first love. my asteroid. kyle.
hard to believe in a desert of all the places!
you held me ever so tight, gave me wicked butterflies & a goober smile.
still, left was uncertainty and doubt- many traces.

my mind was puzzled and never felt right.
i switched motives daily, always changing my mind. where is my mind?
attempting to hold onto our relationship i put everything fourth with all my being, my might....
found out the truth after a first intimate night; you led me blind.

really? you ****** her. i asked you over and over still lies.
really? you told him. a private matter you shared with a friend.
really? you could never prove a change- same black skies.
really? you betrayed my trust. we'll never be the same in the end.

you were my first love
at least i think
my asteroid that is now moving on after collision... my life you are out of
no more late night cuddles, simplistic kisses or terrible winks.

happiness fills my soul now that i can move on
for my heart broke in half and i have to mend it on my own
i do not regret our time spent, never thought it was wrong.
a man who truly respects and loves me will find me someday, for now i find myself alone.

thank you kyle for letting me get to know you without a mask.
this journey was an adventure and i'll never look back.

i miss the feeling of being sad because being empty is so much worse. you are alone.
you are weak.
and most of all, you are not who you used to be.

i never used to be this way. i was different, i was me. i used to love me- where did i go? please.

this change is going to **** me.

it could be the fact that i fled from my home. or that i currently reside in a location where my identity is unknown- even to the people who see me everyday. they do not know me- nobody knows me.

i don't know me. i don't know me. i don't know me.....

my life is a bell jar, and i will slowly suffocate if my "me" is really gone.