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 Dec 2013 Nadia
on to new things
I have finally come to see that no matter what I do...or what I become my mom will still say its not good enough and im just some worthless ***.
She makes me feel like im worthless and a waste of human skin.....she keeps the depression inside of me churning and to regain my sanity for it will never ever win.
She doesn't even remember things as they have taken place....and when u explain your reasons why...she looks at you as if she may say.... "really?"  with that look on her face.
She doesn't try to understand you or take into consideration how u may feel.....its always just some brush it under the carpet and pretend were all happy and make it seem real.
But in the meantime its only doing more bad then any good.....parenting should automatically come with manuals so you know that what ur doing is what you should.
Ive been crying for hours tonight...*** the way I am treated by them~it just aint right....you don't treat one child different then the others.....like one set of rules for each ....its just absurd and if it was u being treated uncool ...youd want them to practice as they were to preach.
But not in this house ....they have different rules for each kid...which is complete ****....I never should have moved here like I did.
Being here has made me think a lot about suicide....its really bad if a persons worth had been\
suppressed by all the tears they they've cried.
I wish I could turn back the clock so I wasn't infact here....then maybe just maybe I could be given a little repair...since love in my heart from them .....hasn't ever really been there....
just venting since my day was served up fresh with a big bowl of *******.
 Dec 2013 Nadia
Janelise
the sky seemed so clear then;

you, me, the storm, and a song.

we swayed and dreamed feeling the universe,

her swift and complicated hands,

drawing us ever closer to that desperate tipping point.

dropping you to your knees, world rocked,

and touching down on me.

we drifted and captured one another:

body on top of body, eyes closed, legs wrapped, lips locked.

and that blue lightening,

it never stopped.
 Dec 2013 Nadia
Colette Williams
Please stop looking at the world with a black and white filter,
Painting it like a biased picture.
Your mind wants to think simple; it does not want to think deep.
I think you're afraid of taking that leap.
Don't tell me what to believe, at the very least.
Everyone has their own soul, so unique.
We can all think for ourselves, we don't need to keep
A guidebook around like a flock of sheep.
 Dec 2013 Nadia
T Stevens
Hope
 Dec 2013 Nadia
T Stevens
Hope you're happy and wiser.
Hope you read one of my poems.
Hoped you would after our comment exchange.
No response from you on any of mine about you
tells me you never read any of my poems.
Hoped you would say hello to me by now.
Hoped you would be the one I would take on vacation.
Sorry if you are still scared to death of relationships.
Hope one day you realize not all men leave.
I hope you're not thinking I posted garbage about you.
Hope you read this one because it's about you.
Hope you know I'm not into head games.
Hope you realize I would never hurt you.
Hope you come to realize I'm alive and not
just anonymous guy who writes poems about you.
Some days I want to lose hope that you know I'm alive.
 Nov 2013 Nadia
nin-esque
Do you see my exterior and marvel
at its ability to capture the weak pupil?
If my skin is but a blanket to cover
you on your lonely nights of desire
then leave my presence.

Look at me and desire to
dissect my brain to find my most horrid
memories that I cannot face alone, and
walk me through the eerie graveyard (my mind) with
your hand in mine whispering “It’s okay”.

Look at me and desire to
open the doorknob where my eyes used to
lie on my face, wanting to enter the world
of perilous ghosts that have lingered in
my soul, and sleigh the hungry monsters
relentlessly pulling me in their darkness.

Look at me and desire to
remove my ribs to reach my fragile beating
heart full of dark secrets, fear and uncertainty.
Place upon it a healing kiss that will render
it impervious to all that tries to break it.

Look at me and desire to
stay by my hopeless side when I begin to drown
in melancholic oceans, as life will have overwhelmed
my delicate being.

Look at me and desire to
kiss my mouth much ardently and never feign
your love for me, for I will always be true.

Look at me and desire to
accept all about my being that I wish to replace
with something greater. Love me when my demons
begin to claw at my vision, leaving the world in my
perception to be horrifying and empty.

Look at me and desire to
tell me that I am Enough and all that you need
and could ever want when I look at my sorrowful
reflection and begin to believe otherwise.

Please, I ask of you
(whomever shall be bewitched by my presence)
do not desire my exterior until you have fully
dissected my interior because I can assure you
my darkness will remorselessly swallow you whole.

— The End —