Nostalgia sleeps in the chest
of that friend who broke down
on your front porch, with a bottle
of your parents' cheapest liquor,
pointed to each of his scars &
told you how he got them through
the slur of a drunken hopelessness
that only laughter between you could mend

you can't
lock
out
what
lives
within

it's not outside,
it's inside your skin

There was an ocean
beneath your skin
I'd splash around from time to time but
I couldn't seem to stir your waters
You held your tide,
calm and soft behind your tongue
for years on end

Until one night
The pain hit just right
Your winds blew violently
And your waves came
building from your core
They crashed o'er your eyelids
And broke into my knee caps
I swam in you until
our skies were the same shade of blue

But then one night
The pain hit just right
I tripped all over your words
They pulled me in deeper and deeper
Until I lost my breath
And drowned in your chest
Oh, how I sank for you

I rest here now
Under a brand new sky
But I swear sometimes
When the pain hits just right
in the middle of the night
I can still feel myself choking on your life
Oh, I swear
I cough up salt water from your sea
when I can't sleep

He has those dark eyes
Widened with concern
And softened with kindness
Those questioning eyes
That beg to see past
The skin that holds
And into the holder

I know
they say love will
only stand in your way...
But what if love is the
only thing that makes
this messy life feel okay?
Can love be
my reason to stay?

My skull has been aching
Since day one
So
If you think you're the thing
That's got my heart breaking
You've been mislead
I was born hurting
Like a disease
That's chronically
Developing into
Something much
Uglier than
Any amount of love
You've ripped out
Of my core
The scar you left
Just kinda blends in
With the rest