Two years ago you loved me
Now you love her
And I love you
I always have
I always will
Two years didn't get rid of it
Other men didn't get rid of it
It's always there
In the back of my mind
The boy that became a man
The one I grew to love
And I loved you fiercely
Though I know I never
Expressed it well
And was afraid of many things
That part was real and unwavering
Three long years
That turned into ash and dust
Because I let you down
Failed to make you realize
My love was there
And it was strong
So strong that every time
I forgot why I was angry with you
And just wanted to hear from you
So strong that to this day
You are still my greatest love
But I guess none of that matters now
You moved on and found someone else
It's been two long years
Without you in my life
I wish I had never pushed you out
And I know that I sound crazy
That's fine
I think I took some of yours
Somewhere along the way
Don't mind my words too much
I'm just a little unsteady lately
A bit of a wreck
Can't take me seriously
Emotions going in every direction
Body telling me that I'm sick
Though it's only my mind in ruins
Right
Here I go again getting off track
I can't say that I'm happy for you
Because I'm not
I wish things were different
I wish that woman was me
I'm not happy that you found someone
To replace me so quickly
I'm not happy that you're going
To spend the rest of your life
Making someone else happy
But I am happy for your happiness
You deserve it

I've known you for years
We were friends as first
But feelings grew
You told me things
I refused to believe
But I fell just the same
Scared to tell you
Afraid you would leave
For someone better
Or that you were lying
Took me a long time to tell you
How I felt
But when I did
It was the most wonderful feeling
To hear you say it back
And you scared me
How different you were
Than what I was used to
How open you were about things
That I was so shy about
Things I had never experienced
I was waiting for
It made me nervous
I thought you would get bored of me
And my boring life
I didn't know how to be
And by the time I had grown
Experienced things
It was too late
I had already ruined what we had
You were the greatest love I ever had
And I want to apologize
I never lead you on
Lied to you about my feelings
I just wasn't ready
For the love you had to give
I wish things were different
I changed
Grew up
Became someone ready
To accept the physical love
With the emotional
And I miss you
A tremendous amount
But it doesn't matter
I lost you
You're gone because I
Pushed you away
And I know apologies never
Meant anything for us
But I am so sorry
For every ounce of doubt
I put in your mind
Every bit of pain I ever caused you
And I am so happy for you
That you found someone
To spend your life with
I wish you the best of luck and happiness

I am a stepping stone
Worn and *****
You cross my path
On your way to
Bigger and better things
It might take a while
But never worry
You'll get there
I will help you take those steps
Bringing smiles to your face
Until you don't need me anymore
And you'll continue to the next

February 14th
Another day in another year
Same old thing
Always lonely
Wasting my day with
Stupid games and movies
Wishing, hoping
Maybe it'll be different this year
But it never is

I'm happy that everyone is
Lost in the loveliness of their own lives
I'm happy that there's so much good
For the people that I care so much about
I'm happy that some people still feel
The pleasure of joy
Instead of being stuck in pits of misery
And sadness
I'm happy that some have gotten out of misery
And found their way to something much better
I'm happy that everyone is so........
Happy
Even though I'm not

I sat in a dark space alone
And sobbed
I watched blood seep through my jeans
I realized how worthless I am
I decided that it's got to end

Sometimes I forget how well you write
Until I see your words
Laid out before me
You always seem to know exactly what to say
And when I read those words
I feel it
Leaving indents in my brain
Pumping blood through my body
I feel it with every inhale and exhale
My heart stops for a second
Your words paralyze me
And I search for you
Waiting for the next rush