I walk outside and all I see
Are the surrounding houses
I can't see miles out
My home is a hilly place
Surrounded by mountains
Leaves turn to red and orange
Setting the trees on fire
For a couple of weeks
Before they all fall down
Leaving bare branches and gray skies
Such hope when there was 60 degree weather
In the middle of December
Then January hit and so did the snow
Gone in a couple of days
Then there are more nice days
That turn to rain
And when you start seeing green it's time
Mosquitos come running
To munch on you all day
Better get some bug spray
Spring brings the bees
Flying everywhere you go
Wasps all over and in your car
Days get longer, hotter
Swimming pools used frequently
Nights are warm too
Everything is great
Then the real heat hits
Sweat dripping down nearly every face
Soaking through t-shirts
Sandals everywhere
Shorts galore
Girls in barely anything
Men going shirtless on occasion
Mowing the yard or going for a run
Air conditioning and ice tea
Grills going on the weekends
Then it starts to cool down
Leaves change once more
Setting the trees on fire again
Home state seasons

I'm watching you live your life from afar
Trying not to show back up
I don't want to bother you
Just make sure you're okay
Silently screaming
Sighing
I never wanted it to be like this
Pretending you don't exist
Hoping you'll never know I'm here
But hoping you will too
Hoping that maybe you're checking too
Lurking in the shadows

Wide awake
Left alone with my thoughts
Music playing softly
Free to let my mind wander
To feel everything
And cry if needed
The most inspiring time
If you happen to be awake

Just an unhappy reminder
Of a miserable time
A hurting soul
On an empty Mother's Day
With no mother to celebrate
For the first time
In 18 years
Just an unhappy reminder
Of another Valentine's Day
Spent working
With no one to celebrate
Being in love with
Or even just being with
Another useless year
With an empty heart

Lust in her eyes
She'll give you a show
Exactly what you want to see
Something sweet
Just a little treat
Draw you in
When she starts to move
Something soft and sultry
She'll set the seductress inside free

I'll never be top choice
Never be number one
I won't be the most desired
But that's never what I wanted
I don't need everyone to love me
Or pick me first
I just wanted you to
Only you
And I thought maybe just maybe
But now I know the truth
I'll always be no one's favorite

Here's to you *******
For not understanding my anger
About your naked body joke
Because you'll never know
What it's like
For grown *** men
To talk about you like that
You'll never know what it's like
To have a man you saw
As a second father
Say sickening words to you
You'll never know what it's like
To be looked at like an object
For the word NO to have no meaning
Here's to you *******
For your lack of understanding
You'll never have to know
What it's like
To fear going out alone at night
To avoid dark places
To wonder if it will happen to you
To be taught
That you have to be careful
A man might drug you
And kidnap you
Or **** you
To be taught
That you're safer in numbers
You won't know how it feels
To not be taken seriously
Because all he did was
Grab your ***
Even though you didn't want it
Here's to you *******
For caring so much