i fall for you,
but i’m tangled in confusion.
you make me happy,
yet i can’t shake this fear,
this constant tug-of-war in my heart.

when we’re together,
i’m overwhelmed by vulnerability,
the raw, exposed feeling
that makes me want to run,
to escape before it all becomes too real.

i see the end of our road
in the moments we share,
and it scares me.
so much so that i think of leaving,
even while i’m with you.

i don’t want to hurt you,
even though i struggle with my own feelings.
i’m torn between the joy of your presence
and the fear of what lies ahead.
the balance between loving you and wanting freedom.

i miss you when we’re apart,
yet when we’re together,
i feel like i’m inching closer to goodbye.
i’m caught in this paradox,
happy yet sad, loving yet wanting to leave.

i’m the heartless girl,
they say,
but here i am,
caught between emotions,
trying to figure out how to protect us both
while wrestling with my own heart.

each morning, i open the door  
to a place that drains every ounce of joy.  
the hallway greets me with a heavy sigh,  
and instantly, my spirit drops.  

eight hours a day with faces I despise,  
in a place where every ounce of happiness  
seems to evaporate before my eyes.  
i feel like running, escaping,  
but the door that welcomes me in  
is the same one that holds me captive.

they call it “optional,”  
but the truth is far from it.  
graduate or face a future  
where choices are limited,  
a cycle of nine-to-five  
that feels like a never-ending grind.

i’m told that this is the path to success,  
yet all i see is a repetition of old patterns,  
a system unchanged by time,  
while the world outside evolves.

every minute spent here feels like a loss,  
a theft of time that could be spent  
on dreams larger than a desk job.  
i’m meant for something greater,  
more profound than just surviving.

everything in life is upgrading,  
but the school system remains frozen,  
a relic of past eras  
while the world moves forward.  
how is it that progress touches everything  
but the one place that shapes our future?

in this trap of outdated rules,  
i find myself questioning,  
wondering why I’m forced to live  
by standards that no longer fit.