I wish i could do what you wish
I really do
I'm desperately sorry
I can't help it
Leave me alone
ED's in control
This isn't your little girl
It's ED who has
****** me in
Never letting go
Go away

I'm sorry i'm not perfect
I wish i could be what you wish
State of longing
I don't know where to go
Maybe this is how i'm supposed to be
Imperfect
Unlovable heart and soul
Can't remember what it was like before
Stop trying to change me
I'm not sick
I'm strong

I'm used to my life
Fighting to keep friendships alive
Why can't i just be normal
Ana is my only friend
Who keeps me in line
A person in my head
Is my only friend
Totally lost my mind
To what i seek
I want to have friends
That stay
Like everyone else
Why is it so hard?
I don't understand

I'm holding on
Just incase
Just incase
I find the glimmer of hope
I've been searching for
In the dark shadows of the night

Don't leave
I need you
Can't you see
I'm broken and scarred
I need to feel alive
Help me
Thank you
I knew you'd always be there

Sitting here so innocent
At that moment
I was just a little girl
In a matter of months
I grew up
Full of problems, memories and pain
That no 13 year old girl
Should ever go through
Let alone think about
A 13 year old girl
Who was happy and excited
About life
Now 15 years old
Wishing her life would end

Have i mentioned that i'm crazy?
I'm insane
Crazy beyond belief
I'm crazy
Not surprised that no one likes me

My eyes are open
Another sleepless night
Picking apart my body
Peeling away my insecurities
In my head
You say to yourself
"I promise i won't eat tomorrow"
Suddenly you can lie your head
On your soft quilted pillow
Just remember your promise
You can't break a promise

Sleepless night
Thinking too much
Can't sleep
Drowning in self-hate

Invisible
Invisible but yet living
How can that be?
When she's physically alive
Her soul dead
The people who don't care
Enough to notice
Her broken soul

I'm invisible
Wanting my light to shine
As soon as someone
Has access to my light
I suddenly want to be invisible
Did you forget everything we ever had?
Don't forget
Please don't forget about me

I can't do this anymore
I can't live life
Seeking a invisible vision
That will never come
Three years later
Still haven't gotten
What i so badly crave
I don't even remember
What i'm searching for
I can't stop
Even though
I will never be satisfied
With what i so badly
Once sought

Love will remember
When we promised each other
We'd never leave
Attached to the hip
Hands locked
Hearts unbroken
Now everything's changed
I never thought one day
I would call you a stranger
Big mistake
Should've known
Not everyone says
They always leave
Before i get to say
I love you

I wonder
What everyone else
Says about their bodies
Without an ED of course
Brains who aren't poisoned
Mind isn't controlled by food and evil
I wonder
What it's like
To not have to engage
In ED's world
Where i'm stuck in a bouncy castle
One minutes up
Another down
One second trying to break free
Another being flung backwards
By Ana and Mia
Where they destroy young souls
Don't let them take your children
It turns them
Into monsters
That can never be redeemed

Criticizing bodies
Every where i turn
Feel like a judgmental fool
This disorder
Has changed the way
I perceive other humans
I'm embarrassed
I care so much
I realize
I'm a abnormal creature
Why do i care so much?
I don't understand
Why the devil choose
To ruin my body and soul

All i want
Is to eat
Like any regular human would
I want to exercise for fun
Not to burn calories
ED controls me now
I can't retriete out of my mind
For any length of time
It always comes back
In a force that
Is too strong to bare

There's a fleeting moment
When i feel beautiful
Like i can do anything
Everything
95% of the time
I feel like an elephant
In the circus
Getting picked on
Fold what to do
All day
Every day
I'm as fat
As an elephant
Who would be lucky
To be beautiful

Karma's a *****
Such a terrible, evil, despicable
Human being

People surround me
Content with the people
I've encountered
These people who i can say
Now are friends
Knowing that i have human interaction
Keeps me calm
Keeps me still
Keeps me from drowning
In isolation

I will love you
Like i'm not insecure
Like i've never been hurt
I will love you
When things are down
When we kiss
Each other's soft lips
Kids playing in the pool
Love you baby
Like i've never heard goodbye

Feel like a fake
When people have it way worse
I can't cope with life
When their doing just fine
Feel undeserving of my issues

I feel like i'm living a lie
Dajavue
Go to school
Come home
Say what i'm supposed to say
Do what's right

Anxiety
Over food
Over people
Over everything
Everyone
Myself
Can't get away
From the crippling anxiety
Over my life

I'm a lightweight
Don't say a word
I know you despite my whole being
For no reason in fact
I'm a lightweight
Better be careful what you say
Keep me from falling apart

Lost in a cage
So dark
I'm a lioness
Fighting to be set free
She needs a lion
To keep her calm

As the sun beat low among the horizon
There was a girl who stepped outside
To get away from everything
She found a 9 year old girl named Ashley
She's a ghost, she says only herself can see her
She says Ashley's her only friend

Little girl in the corner
Silence surrounds me
People fill the room
Still feels more lonely than ever
It's interesting
When you can feel so alone
In a room filled of people

I would've died for us
You realize
I would've jumped off a cliff for us
Spoke too late
Now you're gone

Frustrated and scared
Slowly losing my way
Lost in the darkness
Scared of the future
Terrified of the future

Can't concentrate
All thoughts on when i get food
Help me i'm losing my mind

I've lost myself
To this awful disease
It ruins people's lives
This disease called depression
No one deserves to feel the pain
That i'm going through
I wouldn't wish this on anyone
It ruins your life in one second
Can you take my problems?
I don't want them anymore...

Neon lights
Lovatic's all around
The fandom is unbroken
Because of Demi

Love
Love is like a sweet flower
******* locked together
Together now
But not forever
Love is sweet
Love is kind
Love a unique emotion
We often long to find

Love, a simple word
A word that we often don't understand
We all want to be loved and accepted
It's difficult to find your way in this world
When this world is so big
So many people telling you what to do
and how to do them
Finding your path in this world
Is challenging
You will get on the path
And get knocked off
But eventually
You will find your way in this world

Demi Lovato
Stay strong
Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

The sting of the blade
Comforting warm blood
Blood pooling on my body
Symbolizing my demons
Draining out
Lost in the moment
Not thinking about pain
Physical pain rises above
Blood representing my soul
Everything numb
Blissful feeling

Catch me
With your lovely hands
Eyes locked
With your comforting soul
Catch me
When i need saving

Love me
Love me not
I don't blame you
I would say no too

I don't know how
I'll possibly get over you
You were my solid rock
When others
Already crumbled
Scared i will never find
Solidity
Once again
I will never forget you
Even when i didn't
Get to see your lifeless body
I saw your soul shine through
I will never get over you

Part of me
Is broken beyond repair
No repairing
The damage
That has already begun
Part of me is hidden
Where my demons
Tip toe and whisper
When i'm alone
They pounce
Just a matter of time

So much food
How can people eat this much?
It's disgusting
I hate meal plans
But i guess this is part
Of the recovery process

So many memories
When i think of you
We laughed
We cried and celebrated
So many more
You got my life started
Began my story of bliss with you
Now that you're gone
All i have is memories
Where i started my journey of life
With you

Doors open
At all times
Picture frames
No glass
Hospital bed
Emotions shattered
Like glass

It was only a year ago
That strange events began
That's when my demons take over
Stuck in a web
Now i can't seem to be set free
Where the blood on the floor
Is my demons
You don't see yourself living with it
You see that you are it.

Footsteps
All around the house
Non-stopping
It's an invisible monster
Waiting to strike
To get into your body
Slowly taking over
Your mind and soul

Babies screaming
Trying to attain their needs
While trying to console myself
You cant take care of another
Human being
When you can't even feed yourself
Emotionally unstable mother
I'm sorry baby

Kept my mouth shut
For the longest time
Thanks to you
Hope you succeeded
With what you wish
Her mouth still closed
Scared of life
Because of you

M-melancholy
U-unsatisfactory
R-repulsive
P-pathetic
H-horrific
Y­-yo-yo of emotions

Confusing brain i live in
I can't explain
I need your help
To help me understand
Scared of myself
Evil self
Angel who is a blessing of a soul
Somehow my evil self takes over
My angel soul
Is nowhere to be found

Cutting is my drug
Bigger and better
Than any illegal drug
Better to feel high
Like you're high on drugs
Than deal with your emotions