Young girl
Bright eyes
Cheerful smile
Crumbs of chocolate
On the corners of her lips
No worries
No cares
Dreaming of the days ahead
Anyone could get into my world
Nothing to hide
Full grace
Nothing could take away
Her high of life
e

I never want you to feel
Like i don't love
And care for you
I love you
And want you all to know
This isn't me
A demon has taken me away
And refuses to set me free
I'm sorry
I might not physically show it
But i love you with all my heart

Constant lying
Constant denying
Can't let my secrets out
It's too special
Too sacred
I'm sorry

Summer
Summer is laying by the pool
Hanging out with friends
Summer
Escaping from the hell
Called school

Where do i go from here?
Everyone seems to wonder
What their next destination
Will turn out to be
Destinations are unplanned
They're many people who fear
Their unexpected destination

***** toxins
My sins are gone
The devil
Doesn't want anything in me
So i can slowly die
and go with him

Speaking is hard
Eating is hard
Breathing
Is questionable at times
When you feels so invisible
No one will care
No one will notice when you are gone
They never cared enough anyway
I'm not crazy
I try to tell myself
I'm just a teenager
Trying to find a way
But the fact is
I am crazy
Crazy not to eat
Crazy to hurt myself
Crazy enough to have no friends

Alone in this world
Nowhere to go
Nothing to see
I often wonder
Why do people need me?
Alone in this world
A lost little girl
Trying to come back
But she seems
Oh, so very far away
Like chains in the bottom
Of the ocean
Help me get her back

Faces light up
Filled with delight
As they see me genuinely happy
and not numb to my emotions
and they see me as a happy girl
When i'm actually living
Not just surviving

Searching for a higher power
Seems to be what we all seek
Nothing compares
To everlasting love
As long as we try
We will be saved

Razor crying out for blood
Comfort, like the comfort of a baby blanket
Tears roll down her emaciated cheeks
Turning to her razor
She has no friends left

My body against his
Need to know
Someone loves me
Tell me you love me

I didn't mean for this to happen
I hope you know
I didn't mean to hurt anyone
Lost in my own mind
All i want
Is for people to understand
For my mind to stop spinning
With destructive thoughts
Day in and day out
I love you both
I hope you know

Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful
Thankful for all we have
Family, friends and even heartache
Because they shape us
Into who we are today

Sting once
Sting twice
Bleed once
Bleed forever
Lovely scars

Teenage girl
High off a blade
High off emptiness
Scarred arms
Bruised soul
Fake smile
Dull eyes
Drool comes down her face
From the food her mom is making
"Too many calories, i'm chubby enough"
She says
Dreaming of an easier day
Unexpected life
A mirror
A scale
That doesn't matter anymore
Her secret world
Is hers alone
No one's allowed in
Only if they want to get poisoned
By her demons
And become on of her
Nothing can take her high off the blade
Off a growling stomach
No one can stop her
So don't even try

Confusing brain i live in
I can't explain
I need your help
To help me understand
Scared of myself
Evil self
Angel who is a blessing of a soul
Somehow my evil self takes over
My angel soul
Is nowhere to be found

Can't believe it's true
Thought nothing could break us
I was sadly mistaken
Attached to the hip
Now couldn't be further apart

Hello, my name is Ana
Destroying lives
Right and left
Ana is all destroying
Don't let her consume
Your young soul

Demi's love
Is like a star
She's always there
She's our warrior
When we don't have armor

Love
Love is like a sweet flower
******* locked together
Together now
But not forever
Love is sweet
Love is kind
Love a unique emotion
We often long to find

Love you baby
Laying by the pool
My hands in his
Sharing a drink
Smiling and laughing
Don't want this to end
Let's stay frozen in time
So you never suddenly
Realize that you don't want to be with me

Two worlds collide
Stuck in the motion
We can't choose both
My own world
Reality
Does not mix
Leave my world
My world
Isn't like any other

Lost in a quiet moment
I lay there with darkness
All around me
Ana's grip is just too strong
I cant seem to make
Her strong grip disappear
She seeps through my veins
Like poisin
Sooner or later
She will send me to my grave

It's not that bad, you say
You have no idea what i endure
Every day in my own mind
Tidal waves pulling me under
I could be totally lost at sea
You would never know
Because i'm not physically deteriorating
But i was mentally gone
So long ago
It's amazing what you can hide
Just by putting on a smile
Pretty soon
My physical body
Will catch up just wait and see
Now they're on their way
To the last part that makes me human
Uh, oh to late she's dead
"We had no idea" they said
You could have saved her
You were too naive to see
Demons always start at the mind
Then send more
Draining the life
Flooding with poison
Life is a lesson
A mental illness doesn't have to be physical

Love will remember
When we promised each other
We'd never leave
Attached to the hip
Hands locked
Hearts unbroken
Now everything's changed
I never thought one day
I would call you a stranger
Big mistake
Should've known
Not everyone says
They always leave
Before i get to say
I love you

Catch me
Before i fall
Plummeting
Towards the darkness
I don't want to go
Please just catch me

Empty handed
Secrets have slipped away
Out of my hands
Now i'm empty handed
With words i can't take back
Empty handed
With my guilt and shame

Nobody ever stays
Which is understandable
I'm too much
Too crazy
Too much in every which way
I don't know what to say
I'm sorry
I don't want to rip your hand
Out of mine
We're meant to be
Attached to the hip
Like we always were
I'm sorry
I understand
If you don't want to be seen
With the crazy girl
With scarred arms
I know
All i can say is i'm sorry

Heaven or hell?
Which do i choose?
I'm not sure i believe
Whatever that means
God is dead
While the devil is wide awake

Hunger strikes
You're high as a kite
My drug is ED
The blade is slicing through my skin
Empty plate
So much more
Comforting like no other
Leave us alone
We're just fine
Leave us alone

My eyes say it all
When there's an unmistakable
Smile on my face
Faking a smile
So no one asks questions

Your warm embrace
Words wrapped up in a blanket
Trying to not let them enter the world
Secrets and lies
That's me
She doesn't mean it
This isn't her
Trust me
She's not this kind of girl

Have to cut this disgusting flesh
Have to feel
Have to feel numb
Can't handle this numbness
This loneliness
I need the blade
To comfort
My numb soul

Heavy hands
Choking me
Telling me not to speak
Hands wrapped up
Can't move
Can't speak
Locked in a room
Where i'm stuck
With my thoughts

Lovely salvation
Broken into pieces
Control and security slowly losing it's shine
Don't take away the only thing
That keeps me breathing

Want to cut
Want to feel
So much for trying
My demons
Can't be trapped any longer
They need to play
But don't worry
They always come back
When they're hungry for the blade

Scars, my demons and emotions in
a pool of blood on my wrist.
So comforting, so soothing i don't
know how to explain it
Nothing matters except physical pain
that's why easier to deal with than
emotional pain
Lost in the comfort of blood
and burning cuts.
It's never enough, never enough.

Wasting away
Bruised and broken
Lost and scared
Please save me
Before i completely
Lose myself
In a dangerous obsession
With skinny
Please help me
I'm really scare
I don't want to lose this
But i know if i keep going
I will be among the living dead
Please help me
Before i waste away

I wish i could do what you wish
I really do
I'm desperately sorry
I can't help it
Leave me alone
ED's in control
This isn't your little girl
It's ED who has
****** me in
Never letting go
Go away

Art is a way of expressing
What you can't in words
Disguised in black for demons
Red for blood
Too much to say
Drawing is easier
Easier to disguise

Can we trade souls?
My soul is nowhere to be found
My soul is dark and scary
I would like to switch
With a soul
That is worth trading

I would've died for us
You realize
I would've jumped off a cliff for us
Spoke too late
Now you're gone

All alone
People have left me
Faster than i could speak
I'm scared
I'll never find someone like you
So far no luck
Please remember me
As much as i will remember you

"Go away"
She cries
When she says that
She wants you desperately
To stay
To comfort her
And say everything will be okay

No one understands
What is happening to me?
Help me
I'm all alone
I can't do this on my own
I'm scared
I don't want to die
I don't know how long
I can't carry on with ED
Taking over my body
They will find out
Soon enough
He will show himself

Moments of silence
Quiet
Lost in my destructive mind
Thinking about what happened
Scared
Of what will happen next
Can't get out of my mind

Slipped away
Faster than you thought
Something took her
Slipped away
I found it won't be the same

I don't wanna break
Without you standing right there
Telling me it will be okay
I don't wanna break
All alone
I wanna break
In your arms

I keep saying you don't understand
I'm telling the truth
Maybe you try
But can't you see that isn't enough?
Do you understand what it's like
To be stuck in a self-destructive brain?
Do you understand what it's like
To feel numb to your emotions?
Do you know what it's like
To feel everything's going to go wrong
If you decide just this once
And lift the fork to your mouth?
Do you understand what it's like
To have the sight of blood
And the number on the scale going down
Gives you a high like a alcoholic?
No, now do you see why
You don't understand?