Devastated being
Has lost her way
Broken and bruised
Scarred beyond words
Feel so alone
With my secret that i've kept so hidden

Cutting is my escape
From this ****** up world
Hurt more times than one
Heartbroken time and time again
Starved from familiar faces
Scarred from life
Malnourished from human interaction
No one wants to be around
The girl who cuts herself
"Eww gross" you say
None taken, i know
I'm gross
So much more
I'm disgusting
That's why people never stay
They leave before
I get to explain
People always leave
Starving for solid friends
I need my sister here
I want my original friends here
Much more solid
Alone here
Second guessing
The choices i've made
People i've met
Tears roll down my face
Another one leaves
I need nourishment from the ones
Who love me the most

Love me
Love me not
I don't blame you
I would say no too

All alone
People have left me
Faster than i could speak
I'm scared
I'll never find someone like you
So far no luck
Please remember me
As much as i will remember you

Numbing from the sting of life
Neosporin is the razor
The band aid is blood
Anesthesia is working
Numbing from the loneliness of life

Please be my nightingale
Need to know
That you'll always be there
Nothing can replace
You and me
I'll think of you everyday
Even though i understand
If you never think of me

You're my god
Obey as if i'll go to hell
I follow you like the ten commandments
Except yours is different
The thin commandments
Is what i follow

It's not that bad, you say
You have no idea what i endure
Every day in my own mind
Tidal waves pulling me under
I could be totally lost at sea
You would never know
Because i'm not physically deteriorating
But i was mentally gone
So long ago
It's amazing what you can hide
Just by putting on a smile
Pretty soon
My physical body
Will catch up just wait and see
Now they're on their way
To the last part that makes me human
Uh, oh to late she's dead
"We had no idea" they said
You could have saved her
You were too naive to see
Demons always start at the mind
Then send more
Draining the life
Flooding with poison
Life is a lesson
A mental illness doesn't have to be physical

Sting once
Sting twice
Bleed once
Bleed forever
Lovely scars

Funny thing you said
Isn't so funny anymore
Now i have a secret
That no one can find
It's written all over my body
Written in red
That's still pretty funny isn't it?
All love is broken
Hearts are broken
Love is so hard to find
Now it's all gone

Love
Love is like a sweet flower
******* locked together
Together now
But not forever
Love is sweet
Love is kind
Love a unique emotion
We often long to find

Shaking
Can't breathe
Chest tightening
Heart pounding
Can't speak
Can't move
This is anxiety

Life is like a battlefield
You either win
Or you die trying
To hold your head above water
When all you want to do is drown

Neon lights
Lovatic's all around
The fandom is unbroken
Because of Demi

Did i say you wanted your opinion?
No, leave me alone
You know my name
Not my story

Flowers blooming
Cool breeze
This is spring

Art is a way of expressing
What you can't in words
Disguised in black for demons
Red for blood
Too much to say
Drawing is easier
Easier to disguise

Summer
Hot concrete
Ice cream drips off the child's arm
Water splashing
She hides her demons
With a smile

Empty soul
Empty soul
Broken heart
Tears fall
Can't save her
She's already dead

Winter is cold leaves
Falling off the tree
Warm gloves
and children playing
I'm inside destroying
My ragged broken soul

Razor crying out for blood
Comfort, like the comfort of a baby blanket
Tears roll down her emaciated cheeks
Turning to her razor
She has no friends left

Nothing is working here
I don't understand
My mind being controlled by demons
I can't take it anymore

Heaven or hell?
Which do i choose?
I'm not sure i believe
Whatever that means
God is dead
While the devil is wide awake

***** toxins
My sins are gone
The devil
Doesn't want anything in me
So i can slowly die
and go with him

"Go away"
She cries
When she says that
She wants you desperately
To stay
To comfort her
And say everything will be okay

I don't know what to say
My words are controlled
By a much stronger being than me
This is not me, you see
This is the devil
Slowly taking me away

Who's worthy?
Who's loving?
Who's trusting?
No one exactly
Why would i open my secret
World up to you?
You think it's fake
Can i keep going?
It's not like you would notice

Lovely salvation
Broken into pieces
Control and security slowly losing it's shine
Don't take away the only thing
That keeps me breathing

Your warm embrace
Words wrapped up in a blanket
Trying to not let them enter the world
Secrets and lies
That's me
She doesn't mean it
This isn't her
Trust me
She's not this kind of girl

Don't leave
I need you
Can't you see
I'm broken and scarred
I need to feel alive
Help me
Thank you
I knew you'd always be there

Losing control
Who are you trying to take away my secret?
It's more than a secret
It's my world
My salvation
My sanctuary
That is mine and mine only
*******
This is my caged and destructive world
Leave us alone
We don't want you here

Confusing brain i live in
I can't explain
I need your help
To help me understand
Scared of myself
Evil self
Angel who is a blessing of a soul
Somehow my evil self takes over
My angel soul
Is nowhere to be found

I want you here
I hate you
Go away
Undeserving soul
I want you here
to save me
From my demons
I hate you
Don't leave me
I feel like i can't breathe
I'm pieces
You complete me

Burned bridges
A broken heart
Tired of fake people
Who are uninvited
Go away
You don't deserve me
I'm going to find my way again
I'm gonna love you
Like i don't need saving
Tonight, tonight i'm letting go

I'm invisible
Wanting my light to shine
As soon as someone
Has access to my light
I suddenly want to be invisible
Did you forget everything we ever had?
Don't forget
Please don't forget about me

I'm a lightweight
Don't say a word
I know you despite my whole being
For no reason in fact
I'm a lightweight
Better be careful what you say
Keep me from falling apart

Warm beach
Cold ice
Voices still there
All day
All night
Can't escape
The voice where my demons lie
Can't escape Ana and Mia
Where we are glued together
Like two pieces of a broken heart

Can't explain
What i want to say
Instead of speaking
To the voice in my head
That say don't
You're words aren't important

Really alone
So scared
Help me please
Oh wait, i'm beyond saving

Stop i said
Trying to understand
You will never get into my head
You will never know the real me
Murphy is nowhere to be found
My demons are awake though
Waiting to take another
Innocent beings soul

My soul has been ripped
Out of my chest
My demons have taken over
Cold blade
Silent ears
Empty soul

Hot and cold
Fire and ice
Heaven and hell
Self-destruction and happiness
Totally conflicted
Between life and death

Unbearable pain
Unbearable emotions
This is where the blade comes in
Draining the toxins
Slowly but surely
Now feel numb
Like when you're put under the surgery

My eyes say it all
When there's an unmistakable
Smile on my face
Faking a smile
So no one asks questions

Demi lovato
My lover
She keeps me breathing
Just knowing i get to see her
in 40 days

Drowning, drowning
Faster, faster
Lost under the sea
Now i'm emaciated
Under the sea
Too late i say
You're too late to save me

Dominated by my own mind
Scarred and poisoned
No way to make it go away
Somehow clinging to the brink of life
While being pulled down
By my demons
Just waiting for the right second
When i slowly lose my grip to existence
When i get to tired
I'm holding onto life
As if i was hanging off a cliff
While the consequences are much greater
A mountain lion is wanting his needs to be met
Which do i choose?
Satisfy my demons or satisfy myself?
I'm still hanging on
Until i see a person rescuing me
From the pain and anxiety
That my demons have slowly crept into my brain
Or until the mountain lion
Finally loosens his death grip on me

Drowning in guilt once i realized what i've done
All those wrappers around me
Have no idea how they got there
Then i realize what those wrappers
Were filled with
Terrified and disgusted with myself
I'm so fat
I have no self-control

No one understands me
That's why i love people
Who are the same species
Been lost and lonely for so long
I just want to be with people
Who understand
My way of coping
With this crazy world

Cutting is my drug
Bigger and better
Than any illegal drug
Better to feel high
Like you're high on drugs
Than deal with your emotions