Empty handed
Secrets have slipped away
Out of my hands
Now i'm empty handed
With words i can't take back
Empty handed
With my guilt and shame

Jeans getting looser
Shirt falling off my shoulders
Skinny equals fragile
Have someone worry
They might break me
Stuck in a world
Where my secrets lie
Secrets are hidden
Like quicksand
You can't get out
My mind stuck
My soul drowning
Murphy disappeared
ED has the rope
His evil hands loosen his grip
Almost falling
Almost drowning
Begging him to stop
Tighten his grip
No use have to obey him
Or i drown
In the quicksand of life

Heart weak
Body emaciated
Can't stop
Need to feel numb
Need to feel empty
Empty and numb
Is what i crave

Weakness of my body
Weakness of my heart
Love has disappeared
Love of my life
Ran away faster
Than i could say
"I love you"

Feel like a fake
When people have it way worse
I can't cope with life
When their doing just fine
Feel undeserving of my issues

The sting of the blade
Comforting warm blood
Blood pooling on my body
Symbolizing my demons
Draining out
Lost in the moment
Not thinking about pain
Physical pain rises above
Blood representing my soul
Everything numb
Blissful feeling

Banana's
105 calories
Brain food
Rather have 0 calories
Than for my brain to function

Christmas
Santa
Christmas cheer
Lovely people all around
Decorations
Brightened the houses
Food all around
Doing naughty things
I'm naughty with food
Shouldn't get rewarded

Victories
I thought i would be strong enough
To achieve
Once again
Filled with self-loathing
I want to be special
I guess i'm not supposed to be

Have i mentioned that i'm crazy?
I'm insane
Crazy beyond belief
I'm crazy
Not surprised that no one likes me

Slipped away
Faster than you thought
Something took her
Slipped away
I found it won't be the same

World that breaks
Into nothing
Breaks until there's nothing left
Need one steady thing
In a world that breaks
Everyone leaves
Places change
People change
I need an answer
An end to the end of the searching
I need one steady thing
In a world that breaks

I want to cut
This unlovable soul
Inside of me is breaking
Need relief from my demons
Holding me under
I can finally breathe

Don't worry now
It will be okay
I promise
It can't rain forever
Seems storms will hold on
They eventually fade
Into the background
The real you
Will be the storm
That no one wants
To ever go away

Brittle nails
Thin hair
Heart pounding
Growling stomach
Broken heart
Longing for starvation
Of my emotions
That i keep so hidden

We stitch these wounds
They never did get fully repaired
Scars of the past
Bleeding my pain
We stitched these wounds
Hopefully they'll go away

My eyes are open
Another sleepless night
Picking apart my body
Peeling away my insecurities
In my head
You say to yourself
"I promise i won't eat tomorrow"
Suddenly you can lie your head
On your soft quilted pillow
Just remember your promise
You can't break a promise

My heart is glass
I dare you to break it
Don't **** with glass
It just might come back
And slice you right in the throat

Who says
Every thought
Every insecurity
Wrapped up in your head
Who says
Every mean word
Every impulse
Who says
You're not good enough
Everyone

My heart is broken
Stuck in my head
Lost at sea
Don't know what i'm doing
In a place so dark
As dark as the night sky
My heart is broken
Get away from me
You don't deserve
To see my pain

Best night ever
Stuck in a trance
You beside me
Hands locked
Lips locked
Caress my leg
Lovely
Handsome man
Sitting by the fire
Snuggling
Together forever

Two worlds collide
Stuck in the motion
We can't choose both
My own world
Reality
Does not mix
Leave my world
My world
Isn't like any other

Feel the light
Feel the happiness
Of friendships
You never know
When they could disappear
As fast as a tornado crashing down

Easier to lie
Than to see the disappointment
In your eyes
Telling you my secret
Very dangerous
You wouldn't understand
The world i live in
Easier to lie

God is a blessing
Good and bad
He is powerful
Gets rid of our demons
When we need saving
God is the angel
To save us from the devil

Sleepless night
Thinking too much
Can't sleep
Drowning in self-hate

Family
Keeps me grounded
Keeps me loved
Friends come and go
Family is forever

Happy
Is love
Happy
Is acceptance
Can't find a way
To make me happy
Nothing makes me good enough

M-melancholy
U-unsatisfactory
R-repulsive
P-pathetic
H-horrific
Y­-yo-yo of emotions

Click, click, click
Goes my thighs
Beautiful thin
I will be happy when i'm thin

Stop yelling
Stop crying
Stop questioning
I won't give you the key
To open my doors
My doors are ******* shut
By ED
ED is my father now
I obey him
For better or for worse
He helps me
More than anyone else

Constant lying
Constant denying
Can't let my secrets out
It's too special
Too sacred
I'm sorry

Don't even know who i am
Blurred vision
Refuse to look in your eyes
You're lying
I'm not beautiful
I'm a monster
Of many kinds

Cutting
Blood flooding like rain
Emotions slowly draining my mind
Feel the sting of abandonment
Burning off negativity
Soft hands
Cover them
Band aids heal all wounds

Starving
Walking around
How i feel
Food is the chain
Starving away my sadness
Food is the key
My brain is in ED's hands
Never satisfied
Stuck in the mentality
That skinny is everything
All i want to be is normal

Purging
Flushing the disappointment
Puking up sadness
Stand up
Wipe my repulsive face
Feeling high as a kite
No feelings in me
Empty like a hollow heart
Evidence of my soul flushed

Bingeing
Rocket blasting off
Can't stop
Numb
Holding my emotions
Throwing them away
The trash can
Are where my emotions lie
Stuffing them down
One by one
Stuck in the cycle

Teenage girl
High off a blade
High off emptiness
Scarred arms
Bruised soul
Fake smile
Dull eyes
Drool comes down her face
From the food her mom is making
"Too many calories, i'm chubby enough"
She says
Dreaming of an easier day
Unexpected life
A mirror
A scale
That doesn't matter anymore
Her secret world
Is hers alone
No one's allowed in
Only if they want to get poisoned
By her demons
And become on of her
Nothing can take her high off the blade
Off a growling stomach
No one can stop her
So don't even try

Young girl
Bright eyes
Cheerful smile
Crumbs of chocolate
On the corners of her lips
No worries
No cares
Dreaming of the days ahead
Anyone could get into my world
Nothing to hide
Full grace
Nothing could take away
Her high of life
e

So many memories
When i think of you
We laughed
We cried and celebrated
So many more
You got my life started
Began my story of bliss with you
Now that you're gone
All i have is memories
Where i started my journey of life
With you

Addicted to bones
Addicted to scars
Addicted to self-destruction
Can't find my way out of the darkness
Running from myself
While the young girl
Had tears in her eyes
Scared of the girl
Staring back at her

Halloween
Supposed to be a kid's holiday
Instead it's ED's
Binge and purge fest
Cycle continues
No way to get out
Lost in the waves of destruction
It's secretive
Locked and chained doors
Only ED's sons and daughters can get in
You can't save me
ED has bolted the doors
He has the control

Anxiety
Over food
Over people
Over everything
Everyone
Myself
Can't get away
From the crippling anxiety
Over my life

Undeserving souls
Scattered around like roaches
Don't want you
My hearts broken enough
I don't need you
Undeserving souls

I'm a toxic person
I hate myself
You don't understand
I want to crawl into a hole
I'm embarrassed of myself
Nobody likes me
Everyone *******

I'm sorry i'm not perfect
I wish i could be what you wish
State of longing
I don't know where to go
Maybe this is how i'm supposed to be
Imperfect
Unlovable heart and soul
Can't remember what it was like before
Stop trying to change me
I'm not sick
I'm strong

Leave me be
To my secret world
Alone with my demons
Invisible friends

Scarred arms
Chewed nails
Fat drooping
Poison fills my veins
So broken i can't explain
Heart pounding
Hands shaking
Want this to end
Can trust no one

Stop trying to understand
You never will
Digging deeper and deeper
You soon find your shovel stuck
Trying to get into my world
You will find a says
"Caution ED doesn't want you here"

Locked in a cage
My attackers aren't animals
They're demons
Chewing up my soul
Spitting it out in a pile of blood
Murphy
Is poisoned by demons
She won't let go
She trapped her
In a cage so dark
She looked invisible