Andy's place
Lake house
Long drive
Waves crashing
Boat blasting
Fun to get away
To ****** lake

I forced myself
To let the two people
I love most
Know about my confessions
Worries and fears
I'm sorry
I'm scaring you
I'm just being honest
I want help
Here you go
My secrets have now surfaced
I just want help
That's all

No one understands
What is happening to me?
Help me
I'm all alone
I can't do this on my own
I'm scared
I don't want to die
I don't know how long
I can't carry on with ED
Taking over my body
They will find out
Soon enough
He will show himself

Love will remember
When we promised each other
We'd never leave
Attached to the hip
Hands locked
Hearts unbroken
Now everything's changed
I never thought one day
I would call you a stranger
Big mistake
Should've known
Not everyone says
They always leave
Before i get to say
I love you

Vultures all around me
Waiting to attack
Break open the flesh
Open my hurting heart
To catch the demon
That's been consuming
My soul for so long

Strip me from my soul
Strip me from evil
Need to leave
Move on
I can't stand this anymore
Somebody help me
Strip me from my demons
Evil hands
Scared of them
Yet again they're friends
Strip me from the doubt
That they're here to help
I know they're here to help
I know they're waiting
For my weakest moment
To slowly drain out the poison
And **** me

I think i have
Found the strength
To flap my wings
Fly out of the cage of darkness
Into the bright world
Flap my wings
Leave the nest out of my mind

Hold up
I didn't expect this
Life is moving
At lightning speed
I don't process change well
This is all happening too fast
Want to travel back in time
Where i was innocent and a baby
Hold up
A little girl grew up too fast
All it took was once
I'll never be the same

I'm made of glass
Fragile and easily shaken
I shine with my smile
Beneath closed doors
I shatter and stumble

Hello, my name is Ana
Destroying lives
Right and left
Ana is all destroying
Don't let her consume
Your young soul

Hello, my name is Murphy
I'm a daughter
I'm a friend
I'm a lovatic
I'm a survivor
In more ways than you know

Want to get in bed
Drown my head
Shut the lights off
Feel my bones
Becoming more visible
Open the drawer
Eyes on the blade
House dark
Eyes closed
Solid and still
My demons fill the room
My nocturnal evil friends
Awaken the night
Bleeding high
Off the ground
Now i can
Clear my head
Close my dark eyes
Dream of happiness
In my head

Sensing the binge monster
Slowly creeping in
Stepping one foot in
Then the next
Soon he'll strike
As fast as i can
Open the wrapper
Of destruction
Hanging there
Bones clinching
Heart fluttering
Hands shaking
I don't like fullness
Makes me sick

I'm sorry
Don't you see?
Were two pieces
Of a broken heart
Can't you see i need you
Please don't go
I don't want to lose
Everything we had
I'm sorry

Depressed
From life
From the cold stares
Mean voices
Feeling invisible in every room
I turn
I'm done
With trying my hardest
I'm all alone
With no one to turn to
When i need distractions

Want to be normal
Want to be okay and happy
I feel the panic rising
Dead inside
I so badly
Want to drain my demons
Set them free
I'm scared
Someone please hold me
Tell me nothing bad is going to happen

Nobody ever stays
Which is understandable
I'm too much
Too crazy
Too much in every which way
I don't know what to say
I'm sorry
I don't want to rip your hand
Out of mine
We're meant to be
Attached to the hip
Like we always were
I'm sorry
I understand
If you don't want to be seen
With the crazy girl
With scarred arms
I know
All i can say is i'm sorry

I'm scared
My past life has risen
Once again
I'm scared
Of losing another human
Who can put up with me
Stuck in a spiral
Thoughts drown me
Need closure
That this isn't what i think it is

Want to cut
Want to feel
So much for trying
My demons
Can't be trapped any longer
They need to play
But don't worry
They always come back
When they're hungry for the blade

My words
Not my words
My eyes
Not my eyes
My soul
Definitely not mine
I've turned into ED
Call me Ana or Mia
That's what i've become

I wonder
What everyone else
Says about their bodies
Without an ED of course
Brains who aren't poisoned
Mind isn't controlled by food and evil
I wonder
What it's like
To not have to engage
In ED's world
Where i'm stuck in a bouncy castle
One minutes up
Another down
One second trying to break free
Another being flung backwards
By Ana and Mia
Where they destroy young souls
Don't let them take your children
It turns them
Into monsters
That can never be redeemed

I wish i could do what you wish
I really do
I'm desperately sorry
I can't help it
Leave me alone
ED's in control
This isn't your little girl
It's ED who has
****** me in
Never letting go
Go away

Rules, rules, rules
Counting calories
Counting seconds
Minutes left to run
Bites to eat
Hold my mouth closed
From food
Of all things
Not allowed
Not allowed a lot of things
There's demons, demons
In my brain
Evil, all evil
Surrounding me
Locking me in a cage
Of silence and isolation

People surround me
Content with the people
I've encountered
These people who i can say
Now are friends
Knowing that i have human interaction
Keeps me calm
Keeps me still
Keeps me from drowning
In isolation

No one can change
The connection we had
I feel guilty
I didn't say i love you
Before your body
Turned to ash
I want you to know
I love for eternity
I always do
I always will

Thoughts running through my mind
Body checking
Standing
Looking at my grotesquely
Obese figure staring back at me
Crying at my revolting body

Internal war
In my mind
All day
Every day
Have to obey ED
Or something bad will happen
Orders to obey
Numbers to calculate
Miles to run
Food to either throw away
Or scarf down
In a certain amount of time
Have to obey him
Can't risk
Something terrible happening
Way easier
To give in

Ana's in my head
Raging at my rational mind
Fighting a world war 3
About to explode
In my brain
Thoughts please go away
I can't stand each day
With you by my side

Moments of silence
Quiet
Lost in my destructive mind
Thinking about what happened
Scared
Of what will happen next
Can't get out of my mind

Doors clank
Keys jingle
Walk into a room
Scared to death
This is when i'm a physco
Final destination the psychiatric ward

Scared of love
Scared of hate
Don't deal in lies
Can't handle
Another loss
Go away
Before i have you first

Going downstairs
Dad passed out drunk on the couch
Walking home from school
The kitchen awaits
The binge monster who is hiding
In the cupboards
Go to school
Being drowned by opinions
And strangled by anxiety
Who says
Silence is safe
The weekend  
Diet Dr. Pepper
Filling my undeserving stomach
Eat when i'm told
Boundaries have risen
Parents going their separate ways
In my room
In my escape
Books

Tired
Tired of being sick
Tired of being tired
Tired of being weighed down
By the weight of the world
I'm sick and tired
Of being imperfect
I'm sorry
I don't understand myself

Babies screaming
Trying to attain their needs
While trying to console myself
You cant take care of another
Human being
When you can't even feed yourself
Emotionally unstable mother
I'm sorry baby

People ask
Do you want to recover?
It's complicated
I say
No one will understand
Unless they go through
This hell themselves
Innocent souls damaged
Hearts broken
Bones deranged
You'll never understand
What it's like
To live day to day
With the devil
Attached to your hip

The devil is in your ear
By your side
The devil is strong
And so incredibly evil
It's really scary
Being watched
24/7
If i disobey
Or do something wrong
I'm scared of being filled
With poison
Having Murphy
Splattered
All over the walls

You're not even worth it
You're scaring me
I don't want your grip on me
Hunger consumes me
I don't understand
Why i crave you so much
I don't understand
Why you'll be with me forever
Why am i who you want?

Winter girls
I'm a winter girl
I don't know
What you are doing
Is evil
Go away
Go away

What are you doing to me?
You're evil
But also my lover
I can't tell
I hate you, please don't leave me

Scared of losing
What i want the most
To be thin
To have control
I'm not loving this
But i'm not ready
To give it up
I'm not ready
To let go of ED

Demi's love
Is like a star
She's always there
She's our warrior
When we don't have armor

I don't wanna break
Without you standing right there
Telling me it will be okay
I don't wanna break
All alone
I wanna break
In your arms

Applause
Chanting
"Demi, Demi'"
You are my nightingale
Singing voice of an angel
Lovatic's screaming
For their idol
To step onto the stage
Demi will always be there
Her love is like a star

Applause
The crowd goes wild
For their children to perform
A flawless routine
"This is my daughter, the cheerleader"
They say
Enjoy it now
You never know
When your
"Cheerleader", "athlete" title
Will be ripped away
By words of poison

Part of me
Is broken beyond repair
No repairing
The damage
That has already begun
Part of me is hidden
Where my demons
Tip toe and whisper
When i'm alone
They pounce
Just a matter of time

Falling slowly
Help me please
Save me from plummeting
Don't want to go
Please help me
I'm falling slowly

Laughing uncontrollably
Feeling the love
Blooming like flowers
As bright as the sun
Friends
Brighten your day
When you need
To get out of the dark

Reflections
Are amazing
But oh so very sad
Thoughts swirling
Reflections

You're nothing
I hope you know
You're not worth my words
As you killed me
With yours
You don't deserve
My words
Just look at my body

Kept my mouth shut
For the longest time
Thanks to you
Hope you succeeded
With what you wish
Her mouth still closed
Scared of life
Because of you