I don't care
If i die
Anymore
I wouldn't actually
Take my own life
I'm just not scared
Of death
Like most people are
I'm scared of living
For the rest of my life
With my thoughts controlling
Every move i make

I want to do better
I want to live life freely
Like we all were created
For freedom
Freedom from the devil's hand

I can't do this anymore
I can't live life
Seeking a invisible vision
That will never come
Three years later
Still haven't gotten
What i so badly crave
I don't even remember
What i'm searching for
I can't stop
Even though
I will never be satisfied
With what i so badly
Once sought

Everyone describes my body as
"Healthy"
I want to be light as a feather
Nothing more
Nothing less

Today i have consumed
460 calories
Of disgusting layers
Of chewy flavorless
Fat and unnecessary calories
Sitting in my stomach
Containing fat and so much more
On my "healthy" body
As most say
I'm not healthy in the slightest
I'm weak
For letting hunger power
Me into eating
Which is unnecessary and weak

Crazy humans
All around
How can i trust?
When everyone
Flips like a dime
Two sides of them
Never the same

Months after months
Year after years
Go by
Filled with nothing
But food
Dominated by it's utter existence
Sense of need
Thinking your invincible
Until your being threatened treatment
I'm not weak
I'm strong