Recovery is feeling
Uncomfortable
Recovery is feeling
Emotions
Recovery is getting better
Physically and mentally
Food keeps the beast loud
Pretty soon
There is no longer
A voice in my head
That wants me
Skeletal and dead

So much food
How can people eat this much?
It's disgusting
I hate meal plans
But i guess this is part
Of the recovery process

I most deeply want to find
Love and friendship
When i would understand
If they didn't
The little voice in my head whispers
"You don't deserve to be loved"
"They're only putting on a act, they're just pretending"
I'm scared to get close to anyone
They always find a way to slowly
Slip away from what we once were
Because that's all
I've ever known
I'm sorry
I might leave you
Before you leave me
It's easier that way
So i don't have to endure the disappointment
Once again

Hatred in my eyes when i see you
Feelings of anxiety creeping in
Scared to get near you
Go burn in hell

Living for bones
Living to ffeel
Living to feel anything at all
Living to endure pain
Living to find a way
To numb all the pain

Hearing my heartbeat
Beating like i know it should
But sometimes i don't want it to
I often wonder what does death feel like?
I imagine it peaceful
Your problems are nonexistent
Hearing my heartbeat
Is a blessing
But also a nightmare

Alone in this world
Nowhere to go
Nothing to see
I often wonder
Why do people need me?
Alone in this world
A lost little girl
Trying to come back
But she seems
Oh, so very far away
Like chains in the bottom
Of the ocean
Help me get her back