How did we go from holding hands and kissing in the rain to me feeling nauseous every time you put your hand on my hip or kiss my forehead? How did we go from texting all night to one sided conversations where you beg me to respond? How am I supposed to fall back in your arms at night and not break down into a sobbing mess? Where do we go from here?

"Some people will burn you when they touch you, baby girl. Some people's hands are on fire and when they grab your hand it might feel exciting, but you're going to walk out with third degree burns and scars that will make you cry every time you see them and remember how much you used to love the danger. Some peoples hands are so cold that when you grab their hand in a spur of the moment kind of thing,  they're going to turn you to ice and there's nothing you'll be able to do. Watch out for those people, pumpkin, some of those people have too much fight and some have too much ice in their heart and you're not capable of bringing them back to room temperature."
-my dad warned me about the fire in your touch and the ice in your soul but I thought maybe I could fix you

"The thing about you, your sister, and I, is that if someone tells us to go, they won't have to say it again," my mom told me on a six hour roadtrip. I understood what it meant, but it never fully hit me until you whispered to me, "why don't you just go?" And I've never been back since.

You can be friends with people your whole life and then wake up one day and realize that you need to move on. If you're sitting at lunch with them and you feel like you don't fit it, you're allowed to sit somewhere else.

2. Loving someone and loving the attention they give you are two completely different things. You don't love that boy who sits behind you in math, you just love that he calls you pretty. It's okay to want to be called that, but learn who will be there for you in the middle of the night when you feel sick to your stomach because your friends decided to make plans without you.

3. Your mom is right. Whether it be about going to bed before two in the morning on a school night or that senior boy with the really good hair at all the parties with a red solo cup in his hand, she's right. You're not going to listen to her at first, but when you come home a sleep-deprived mess with a broken heart, she'll be there to pick up the pieces.

4. Your grades are important. No, you shouldn't stay up all night and slave over your algebra homework, but try and do good, even when everything's a mess.

5. People will tell you, "please don't ever change!" Don't listen to them. Change a million times, change every day, every hour, every minute. Change for the better, grow to be a bigger and stronger person. Don't listen to anyone who wants you to be stationary, they're holding you back.

6. It's okay to fall apart every once in a while. Don't think you have to have it all together, you've got so much time to figure all of that out. If you need to cry a little bit, that's okay, and if you need to scream into your pillow, that's alright too. It'll all be okay in the end.

7. You're going to learn that people aren't going to take you seriously. That's okay, work hard to prove them wrong.

8. You're still a child, please don't make a huge fuss over it when people call you one. You don't have much longer and you're really going to miss when your mom would make you dinner and your dad paid for your phone bill. You don't have that many responsibilities and you have so much potential still. Be a child and be okay with it.

9. Don't litter your body with drugs and alcohol because the cute older boy does and you want to fit in with his crowd. Stand out on your own and they'll notice you for things you can be proud of.

10. They're not staring at you. They're not laughing at you. Keep walking with your head up, just because you think that your hair is too big today or your clothes don't fit right doesn't mean anyone else notices. Keep walking.

I feel so alone, and it's really nobodies fault but my own. I make excuses to stay home, even though I'd love to be with my friends at that party. I make excuses all the time and I don't know why.

You must know, I am much more than I seem.
I am a storm, and I try my best to minimize the damage but there's always a house and a person who seem to be destroyed in my wake.
I am a wave, crashing onto the shore as if I haven't seen it in years, hoping that if I crash hard enough into them I will stay forever, not knowing that you are the shore and we collided just a little too hard.
I am the sun, shining bright for the world, but I hurt people I don't intend to and you are the moon, glowing prettier than I ever could.
I am the storm that destroys what you love, the tide that could never stay long enough with the shore to help heal it, and the sun that is never allowed to be with a moon as beautiful as you.

We laughed and we cried and you said you'd be here forever but it still wasn't enough to keep you laying my bed, whispering my name in your sleep.

I gave and I gave and it still wasn't enough for you to call me to say goodnight but you took and you took everything I was and now I can't find myself anywhere.

I emptied my heart to make room for you, to let you fill me up with false happiness and little lies that would eventually leave me gasping for air but it still wasn't enough to make you stay, your eyes on mine and your smile for me.