It's not that I'm not into you
I really am, I really do
Like you a lot, I like your smile,
I have admired it for a while.

You make me laugh, you say cute things
And know I don't like wearing rings.
I don't get judged and that feels nice.
It's rather strange I don't think twice

On spilling out my inner fears,
My thoughts, my worries and my tears.
You make me cry and I don't mind
I think you're worth it every time.

What makes me mad is other folk
Who interfere and like to joke
Around with hearts, like they won't break,
One lie is sometimes all it takes

To tear us up and dent our pride,
We lash out, hurt, we often hide.
With you I feel they won't succeed
For love is really all we need.

My unravelling mind is one of a kind, is
                                         Beating yet blind, is
                                         Quite unrefined.
My unravelling mind is not what you'd find, is
                                         Fair yet unkind, is
                                         Bruised and maligned.
My unravelling mind is stuck on rewind, is
                                         Breaking inside, is
                                         Best left behind.

I'm not worried that I like you.
I'm worried that I'll like you too much.
I'm not worried at all I tell myself.
I worried just a little bit and that's fine.
That's normal, right?
I don't like that this scares me.
I'm overthinking it, aren't I?
Just be yourself, just be yourself.
Open up, it's okay. You don't have to lie any more.
Not to them, or to anyone really. Especially not to them.
They're okay, you know. They're not out to hurt you.
At least that's what you believe, genuinely and truly.
You like them, just admit it. Be okay with it. It's okay.
They know. You're safe.
Don't hold back now, not ever. Just calm. Breathe.
Think of your friend, she's doing well.
You're happy for her. Be happy for yourself, too.
You're allowed to be happy, you deserve it.
I'm struggling, you know. Just a little bit.
This is all quite new. Not completely, but it's new.
What am I even doing? I keep surprising myself and I don't mind.
I quite like it, I feel different, I feel empowered.
In a good way, too. Almost as if this is working.
Being honest is working and it's getting less and less terrifying.
Be yourself, or as much as you can be.
There are things you are still changing, things you haven't changed it.
That's okay, you don't have to change dramatically.
You would freak out if you did. Let yourself evolve.
Let the caterpillars of your mind grow. Feed them all you possibly can.
They'll grow strong, I promise. Just like you will, in time. Give it time.
Why are you expecting a sudden change? You know life doesn't work like that.
What are you comparing yourself to? Nobody. Exactly. Stop it.
This isn't making any sense to me any more, I should stop.

I'm kind of liking the butterflies
Flying around
Like there's all the time in the world.
I'm kind of liking the simplicity,
Just you and me talking about
All the little things that matter,
To you, to us, to them.
I call the butterflies my friends.

Honestly, I just want to b-break down and cry.
I sit here, oh-all alone, my head down and sigh.
I see it all around m-me, people living happily,
While I, I c-can't seem to function right.

So I put it to you, to you
Of all people, tell me, tell me
Why won't you tell me?

So I put it to you, of all people
Of all people, won't you tell me
Why won't my heart just die?

Sincerely, I wr-wrote you a letter and I cried.
Writing each and every word, oh-oh my I sighed.
If only, if only I had the perfect words to say,
I wouldn't, I wouldn't be shattering my pride.

So I put it to you, to you
Of all people. Tell me, tell me
What would you not do?

So I put it to you, of all people
Of all people, won't you tell me
What can I do just to die?

Finally, I wr-wrap this up and I cannot cry.
I've shed too many tears for that, I shall not sigh.
Instead, oh perhaps I will take a ride somewhere,
Maybe there, I will find my reason not to... die.