How I'm dying to speak to you
but I dare not say a word
My reasons may be a little coward
but I swear beyond it's looks,
it is more complex

Unforgotten
distant memories
And mind-torn scars
Leave me in absolute awe,
devastation and regret

For in my absence
I sense that
we both have grown
grown happier
and further apart

And while I miss you
and would love to hear your voice
I fear to hurt
what you have tried so hard to create
How you tried so hard
to escape how things were with me

And if you have
grown into your own new
happy little world
then who am I
to push inside and damage it
To create doubt
and uncertainty
To show you a ****** love
and half truths

And while it hurts inside
as if a blade is run through my chest
each time I consider picking up the phone
and calling you,
to hear that beautiful voice one more time
But resist I shall,
be strong I will,
for I care too much about you
to dare tear apart your life again
or even let the thought of me scratch it

Please forgive me
but when you call
I shall not answer
when you text
I won't reply
even if you knock at my door
I won't be home
because you are better off without me
and I am better off without you
to leave our perfect dream behind
and begin our own incompletable lives

A cold winters day
staring thoughtlessly out of a clear window
watching as the rain drops carelessly
onto the soaked brickwork below
without a single thought
I close my eyes
for no particular reason
and listen to the rain
hearing the drops
feeling them as if they landed on my bare skin
the cold freezing all doubt within me
and leaving me desolate
but not unhappy

accepting
that like the rain
everything
is cold
but in its own way
beautiful

A man so hollow
who had let go of his dream
Awoke each day to a world
which had nothing left to share

A world
exploding with
what seemed similar to happiness
a distant feeling

But as time passed
he realized that
he could be brought brief moments
of joy
but still remained empty

What was lacking
was purpose

After years of observation
these tired eyes found an odd sight
an angel with wings broken
and a heart shattered at the core

This mystical creature
of such immense beauty
laying cold and alone
stained with blood and tears

With my rusted arms
I swooped her up
and supplied her with any warmth
I could possibly give
in my desperation to ease the pain
and try tend to her wounded heart

And in my occupation
of tending to her
I felt that emptiness whittle away
slowly and gently chipping
at the abyss within me

Months passed
and I can't begin to describe
the joy felt when she smiles
and while the marks never disappear
behind the smiles
they begin to fade

Good times,
there are a few now it would be seem
The painful thoughts and break downs
never seem far away

I'm trying
and it is tearing me apart
The attention required,
the countless nights of sleeplessness
over trying to comfort her.
But while it rips at me
I will never stop

For hearing the laugh
or seeing that beautiful smile
makes every moment worthwhile
It makes it worth living in this horrid world
this game with unfair rules and unbalanced sides
with players that would rather watch everyone else fall to their knees

..but this world can't be that bad
if it was the birth of you


I had no idea how to react
when I heard you say
If it wasn't for you
I'd be probably be gone
long ago

With this
I realized
my need to keep going
to keep pushing through every day
because now
I have found
my purpose

My dear
please
I urge you to stop
While I love that you try
to show weight the door
and while I'm happy to see you motivated
this obsession
is beginning to hurt you

and
I care more
about your happiness
than how you look

No matter what happens,
or how you look.
I will always be here for you.

You will always be beautiful.

And in that moment
time and space stretched
the ground below became uneven
tearing open and pulling me down
the sadist shadows
laughing and beckoning me
even the trees screamed and cried
the sun fled beneath its silken counterparts
as the world began to shift
and reality began to fade
the emptiness found
as the sky began to bruise
to my destruction
in my acknowledgement
that I don't belong with you