We try so desperately to find purpose on such grand scales
That we miss the fact that even the smallest details that exist
Within this reality
Are the building blocks in understanding that purpose is a system
Rather than a state of existence

"What is the Purpose of Life?" we all ask.

Why do we assume that Life has a purpose to begin with?

Well that's rather sad to think about; Life without Purpose is quiet and melancholy...

But take that as liberation rather than a bleak epiphany

Purpose is shaped by the relationship of the interaction
And love is the natural phenomenon that forms
When you accept it for what it is

You have a crowd of 10,000 people
5,000 die
Is it still a crowd?

You have a heap of sand
You take out 1,000,000 grains
Is it still a heap?

You have 5,000,000 trees in a forest
You cut down 4,500,000 trees
Is it still a forest?

You have 3 parts of the brain
You remove the Insular Cortex
Are you still human?

At what point do we change?
When does something cease to be?
If man ceases to feel disgust amidst atrocity,
Is he still human?

To succeed but at what cost
Bitters the sweet bite of success
And though the long fought battle not lost
Where we are is far from the best

If you sacrifice one million men
To proudly stand upright and shout that you've won
I guarantee a few billion more would send
Many letters that they miss their loved ones

We are told we are the heroes
Defenders of peace during these times
But though your victory stands grand and tall
The foundation is built upon crimes

Sometimes
One can give all that they have
They can sacrifice
And lay everything on the table

But life is cruel

For even when all is given
And the last of ones strength used
As ones bones begin to break
When sweat turns to blood
And one screams with a rage within them
That no force on earth can quell

Even then
That may not be enough.

Some who survive that battle
Who cared too much
For their dreams to drift off
Like sand in the wind
Emerge heartless

No one wants to play with me
Children run, hide, and flee
For the more you have
The less you see
Twas the life of poor old me.

Words are merely blots of ink on paper
Formed to produce a sentence structure
Spoken words are only vibrations within our bodies
Reverberating in the air
Do not decieve yourselves to think
That words have the power to protect you
Words only reveal intent
With only the responsibility given  
Left to those who hear or read them
Words are only symbols when no one takes notice
Ink stains on manufactured trees
Nothing to the animal
Meaningless to the determined
You say stop
They say go
You write halt
They write no
Determination makes words meaningless
They make words nothing
For desire is the only word on their minds
Desire to accomplish the grandest ventures
Desire to push past your words
Desire to seize it all

Behind the one way mirror
Observing the world from a far
Delicately analyzing its every move
He looks out upon the hopeless barren earth

Like caged birds
Whose wings are clipped
And bodies bruised from captivity
We are a snow globe to this watchful monster

Ready to shake us when he so chooses
The Destroyer of Worlds bides
Marveling in the chaos that lives
Even without his touch

When he does arrive
We think we will recognize him
Yet he shall slip right past us
Past us all

Some will cry ****** ******
But we will not listen
We will love him
We will adore him

We will hand him the keys
The wheel that guides it all
Foolishly, we shall bury our own caskets
Choking out any hope for our future

For the Destroyer is deception incarnate
Molded like a man
But with a heart of blackened smoke
And hands of icy thorns

So beautiful
Charming
People will trample to taste his words
Salivating over a mere gaze

And he shall come without warning
On a beautiful day
Not a cloud in the sky
With a smile and outstretched hand

I feel all wrong
But can't contain it in words
A type of wrong that makes me think
That makes my head hurt
And heart ache
A wrong that makes the rights all smudged
"What's wrong" My mother asks
"I'm Fine" I shoot right back
But yet there is a deepened pit
A stone within my stomach
That urges me to think
Prompts me to listen
Forces me to deliberate
About nothing
Or everything
I feel like there is more out there
Yet I'm cocky and scared to death
I feel this wrong building up
A biding time for the emotional tsunami
BUT.
I.
DON'T.
HAVE.
A.
CLUE.
As to what is eating me a away
And I hate it
All of it
The soul crushing knowledge
Knowing the maze will never end
No hint
No help
This wrong in me begs to know
To know of its own confusing worth
It urges me to look inward
But when I toil I come up empty
People yell and dreams crumble
Swingsets still slowly sway
I feel the wrong inside me
A tumor in my soul
The feeling that you've left something
A feeling a numbing isolation
It starts in your chest and symptoms all show
As it spreads it slowly consumes you
Leaving behind the mangled corpse of a victim
Who never knew he was ill at all
Or simply thought it yet never sought to fix it
Fix the problem that I never knew
The problem that made the most sense

I feel *****
Like the ***** you cannot shake or wash away
A ***** that smells but is only putrid to you
The disappointment, the despair
The dirtiness that you feel when you dripped gasoline on your hands
Where the fragrance never leaves and the memory hits you
A constant reminder of what you did
Like a stain that stares at you and reveals what was done
Where it bleeds through the many layers designed to conceal it but it wreaks.
And as I go through my day, I can't look my parents in the eye
I can't smile at them like the son they love
For the smell only embarrasses me more
"They didn't raise me to be this way"
And I stumble with words to form an excuse
Jumbled and fake I have no alibi
I am a convicted man and as the plan goes
My action only makes me lower my head in shame
I want to shove it under my bed, strangle it and let it die with time
But inside I know
Inside I feel
That this smell will be forever there
Another stench I must solemnly bare.

Have you ever heard a song
That makes you want to cry
That makes you want to love
To fight
To run
To give everything you have?
Have you ever heard a tune
That makes your world worth living for those few seconds left
A melody that makes you think
And understand
That maybe there is an escape
Have you ever heard a note  
That makes everything ok again
Because it sums all the fears you've ever had
And jumbles them with all your courage
And you say to yourself
Within your mind
Within your soul
Within your aching bones that everything is going to be alright?
Have you ever heard those words
In your head
That just kind of flow right onto the page
And you can't explain why
You can't tell anyone why
But it just is
And it alway should have been?
That soothing tune that plays
That tune is your voice
So please don't ever stop
Talk to me till the sun goes down

I lived my life
Wholeheartedly believing
I didn’t deserve happiness

As if when things went well
They were too good to last
And anxiety crept in

Anxious about the bad that was to come
I never could enjoy the good times
I would sideline myself for no reason

As if I slipped into a cycle
Never fully grasping the moment
Gasping for a breath of fresh air that’d never come.

Doubt had me chained
Bogged down and restrained
And the world around me was always gray

And to this day I still feel uneasy
When my day is bliss and plain
My day offs are filled with worry

I type this all now to let you know
To all those afflicted like me
That your days with sun rays
Are productive and warm
You’re allowed to relax
And kick back with glee.

Do you remember the cherry tree?
How it bloomed when the cold would recede?
Can you remember? Can you see?
When spring time came and the sun was freed?

Do you remember the pink petals soft?
Or the times we walked and it waved to us in the breeze?
Matched with the blue sky and white clouds aloft.
The whispers through its arms and leaves?

Do you remember that old cherry tree?
How on rainy days it braved the storms.
In the wild it grew happy and free.
Its outstretched arms, breaking all the norms.

Do you remember when we laughed and ran?
With ***** feet and playful bliss.
I remember that old towering fan.
And those times I surely do miss.

Throw me down,
Down to your feet

Where bugs, dirt, and weeds
Do meet

Torture my soul,
Until I scream

But let you know ,
I will dream

Bind my hands and drag me through
The coals and ember's steam

Lock me in your darkest cell
But I shall always dream

Take my name
And take my world

Take my tears and produce a stream,
Take everything that I posses

But I shall always dream

Spit in my face
Stab my back

Hang me up for the world to see
But no matter what your minds create

I shall always Dream

To me its just a dream
A bitter-sweet thing
The way
You gaze
At me-

From head, down to the toes
As this story goes
You will-
Always
See me
------------------------------------
And if you ever wake
And I, by mistake
Have ever
Left
Your side

Find me on the moon
Where the sun always shines
And bring me
Right back
To your side
------------------------------------
And finally
If clouds block your view
Just whisper
Those lovely
Weathered words

And I will find you
As strong as before
Without any clouds
In sight.

We have so many choices in life
that we forget
how in control we really are.

We live a dying fight
Like warmth from an exhausted fire
We all wane like setting suns
The only question is when

So far from what I've seen
Is that life is about ebbs and flows
Forces of all natures
Push and constrain you

And life asks you daily,
"Where will you be when I rage against you?"
"What will you be tomorrow after I beat you down today?"
"When I tear at you and rip off all that you use to shield yourself?"
"How will you respond to my punishment?"

Some are quiet
Some are mute

Yet some step forward against the current
Daring life to hit harder
And they laugh
For they know that if they withstood yesterday
Why should today be any different?

There is something seductive about your words
Your ideas and thoughts
Your confidence
Are more seducing than
Anything you could wear

I noticed someone,
wearing what they loved to wear
Without a care in the world about how they looked
I envied that feeling

Perhaps a speck in our tangent of time.
Graceful bows, angelic sways
Circular twirls with hypnotic forays
He pushed, she danced as music played
To us it lasted but a moment
To the dancers it was eternity

Break free my children
For freedom is here for you
Immortality stares you in the face
You need only extend yourself to reach it

Do you hear the chiming tolls?
The wedding bells marrying you off with greatness?
Hark! The world lies before you
You grasp all that is necessary

So what holds you back my people?
My friends, brothers.
Those who hold the key to salvation
Rise with me to everlasting glory

Let us break the bonds of today
Soaring into the colors of tomorrow
For we paint the canvas
We hoist the sail!

Together we will build
Etching our destinies upon the concrete
Upon the world newly conquered
Our legacy will be timeless

Come my children
The wind blows in our favor
Step forth into your next chapter
And never look back.

Many argue, the ways of evil must be washed
Away and smothered out
There is no place for malice or hate
The earth too small for anguish, burning
But alas, they are deceived
For how would man know what good is
If evil need not exist?
For who would heroes fight?
For what would they fight for
If no one opposes?
There shall always be evil
As long as there is perspective
As long as there is man
The constant battle shall continue
There is no end
No end to this madness

All we want is to evoke from ourselves
and those around us
our true natures.
The essence of veracity
without the walls
without the barriers.
And therein lies the greatest truth
that no man wants to admit.
We are most truthful when we suffer,
desperation is humanities calling card.
The only way we are able to be ourselves.
What a horrendous lot we are.

Though the greatest men have fallen
Their bodies laid beneath the earth
I can still hear their voices callin'
From where they lay, and then from birth
Their timeless wisdom
And courtly guise
From super-stardom
Nothing hides
The timeless faces of the past
Great names and people always last

Even if
You may be the faintest flower
You shall always be
Beautiful to me

Oh Father, My Father
The man we look to in need
Who holds the ceiling aloft
From crashing and smashing us below
Oh Father, My Father
Furrowed brows define the wrinkled smile
Accenting the whitening hairs upon face and head
Weathered hands with aging spots
Oh Father, My Father
How the world revolves around you
How the room grows silent upon your entrance
Demanding attention with a subtle nod and twinkled eye
Oh Father, My Father
You fixed my bike when I was but nine
Taught me to shave at seventeen
The man who taught me right and wrong
Oh Father, My only Father
Whose office was always warm
Whose lap was always welcoming
Oh Father, My Father
Thank You

Your words feel like a warm embrace
Comforting me in this space

Like a fire, like a hearth
Keeping me grounded to this earth

You gave me light when the sun would dim
Holding my hands and numbing limbs

Thank you for the light you shared
Your extra love was always spared

Please hold me here and not let go
I'll be cold without your glow

Sometimes it's good to stare
and take the scene in,
holding it close.
The everyday walks,
the everyday talks.
Remember them.
Because these filler moments
and these places you see everyday,
shape you.
So hold them until they are a distant memory.

I hate you
Every brick in your walls
Each and every hallway
Your system is rotten
And your school is destructive
Constantly taking the best and reducing them to nothing
Your smell still lingers on my clothes
Memories still pollute my mind
The jail I sat inside for three whole years still eats me away inside
Why did I ever look up to your banners
How could I ever be proud
To die inside a prison like yours and waste my talents away
I hate you villainous ****
Your colors of Red Black and Grey
I curse my first entrance to your school
And I'll hate you till the end of all days

To feel out of place
Like flowers in the snow
Soon gone without a trace
Without a soul to know

The soft patter of the white
Harshness of the cold
Gone without a fight
To vanish with the old

Sometimes we feel alone
As different colored petals grow
Together in the wind all grown
In the field of flowers in the snow.

We tend to think
That living forever
Would be a curse
But then I ask
What is heaven?

Perhaps it isn't the time
That makes it worthwhile
But the people
We spend it with

Please oh please
Listen well
To what I have to say
For Gods sake
Do not hold back
And cheat your life away